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Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by the_tinman, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    i came in here because i dont want the shes banging 5 black dudes for 10 pages. what the hell dose i love you but im not in love with you mean?
     
  2. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    It means that the person cares about you but doesn't feel passion for you anymore.
     
  3. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    It means she loves you as "a person/associate/friend/companion" but not romantically love as in "the significant other".
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    she cares for your well-being but either has not yet reached a certain level of romantic intensity, or is not attracted to you.
     
  5. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    thank you guys and gals
     
  6. ptwiggens

    ptwiggens New Member

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    bingo
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    it means "I only see you as a friend"...or possibly like a family member. it definitely means there is NO chance of anything sexual going on.
     
  8. 123yenxtc

    123yenxtc New Member

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    Unfortunately, love is not a democratic process. The "But I'm not in love with you" negates the "I love you" in a romantic or possible romantic situation.

    Sometimes it's a girl thinking she's letting a guy down easy.

    Sometimes it's a girl who has no decency to say she's not interested and hopes you'll just take a hint.

    Sometimes it means she realized that you felt more for her than she did for you.

    It can mean a lot of things, but for anyone who is wondering what she means, it means you can stop expending any more energy on this one.
     
  9. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    wish i could shes my wife were going through some problems right now it changed from i love you but im not in love with you to i love you but i hate some of the shit you do we have been fighting over the last 3.5 years on and off
     
  10. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said no but someone is talking to me but im not talking to them she wont give up on the name about 10 min go by and i tell her if thats whats really happening then why wont you tell me his name she then give up the name cautiously and tells me its not what you think
     
  11. 123yenxtc

    123yenxtc New Member

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    Ah. Your wife said this. How I interpret this is there are problems in the relationship that have been going on for some time. Women are USUALLY more wanting to talk about the relationship to the point where it sounds like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons - "whu whu whu whu whu."

    Women want to be understood, but what the hell does that mean if you're the guy?

    I'm going on a limb here and will say what I know works for me. Men have been brainwashed into thinking that they have to be all in-touch with their feelings. Biologically, I think that though men are capable of it and do demonstrate it, but by and large it's not the natural m.o. Women expect men to be well dressed, well groomed, well heeled, tight bodied, and the list goes on. Pretty much what they appear to want is a gay guy who will have sex with them.

    Maybe this is harsh, but maybe it's time to assert yourself in your marriage. Instead of treading around the subject, firmly say, "I know there are problems. I'm listening."

    Then, let her run out of steam. Let her emote and cry and tell you how awful a husband and man and friend you have been. Let her victimize herself as much as she wants. This will take an extraordinary amount of holding back from you. Once she's exhausted herself (we do get to that point) simply (and this may be hard) take her into your arms, let her cry on you, be soothing. Then tell her you heard her, that if she is willing that you are willing to make this work. All marriages go through a suck-ass stage. Develop the skills to weather these bumps and they won't be so dramatic in the future.

    What I suggest may sound way too gay or undoable. It requires an enormous amount of strength to appear passive to a woman's rant. But, if you don't lose it and start in with the "well, you did this..." then you diffuse the situation and give her no ammo to continue. You also come across as the man, the strong one, the protector and keeper of all that is good.
     
  12. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    That right there is sound advice....Its hard to do...but sometimes you have to suck it up....if its worth saving....

    The love you but not in love....wow....thats a tough one....I said it to my ex and it destroyed her....which in turn destroyed me because I do love her...I doubt I will use that line ever again....
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    "Then, let her run out of steam. Let her emote and cry and tell you how awful a husband and man and friend you have been. Let her victimize herself as much as she wants. This will take an extraordinary amount of holding back from you. Once she's exhausted herself (we do get to that point) simply (and this may be hard) take her into your arms, let her cry on you, be soothing. Then tell her you heard her, that if she is willing that you are willing to make this work. All marriages go through a suck-ass stage. Develop the skills to weather these bumps and they won't be so dramatic in the future."

    That is perfect advice but it sounds really hard to do
     
  14. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    well i took you advise thanks it really helped alot not being sarcastic either

    thanks again
    mat
     

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