I'll make this as short as I can. We're both nearly 21 years old and have been friends since 15. I was always crazy for her, but her not so much into me. At some point around age 16 (shit, the posts are still up here on OT, some of my first ones), we hook up for a weekend, I lose my virginity, etc etc. In the following few days she crushed me saying that she didn't want to a relationship out of it. I learned to get over it, and our friendship faded in and out over the next few years. Sometimes we were very close, sometimes we were distant, but in all, we would always be there for one another whenever things were going wrong. We know each other better than anyone else and want the best for both of us. We are truly great friends. While in my last relationship, her and I saw each other maybe twice over the span of a year. Not much, but enough to maintain a friendship. When my last ex and I split, I hung out with her a few times immediately afterward, and that was about it. Over the next nine months, we did not see each other at all. I decided to randomly txt her one evening about two months ago, and we have since seen each other several times a week. During this time period, she's begun to develop feelings for me, outside of what we're used to. My feelings are still there, of course... Over the last weekend we made out a lot, partied with a bunch of mutual friends, went places as a "couple," enjoyed teasing each other about the whole thing... just having fun together. This girl is my softspot, she is perfect for me. Tonight we hang out, watch a movie, have some foreplay... and I turn her down on sex. I am an extremely sexual person by nature. I want to fuck everything with legs. I'm always making sexually suggestive comments and have a ridiculous libido. At this point in time, its been 13 months since the last time I've had sex. And coming from consecutive relationships where I had sex often several times a day, every single day... I NEED sex. Yet, I turned her down. The girl I've been crazy about for years, that I haven't had sex with since I was 16. We still had a good night, but I made some awkward comments here and there just due to my anxiety. I simply do not know what to do. She wants me. Bad. She's crazy for me right now. Honestly it scares the shit out of me. I want to be with her, I love this girl and we both know it. But at the same time I don't want to lose my friendship. I've only had two other friends for the same duration as her, and knowing that we're 20, in a relationship... realistically, it is not going to last. And knowing that I'm expediting the end of one of my best friendships absolutely crushes me. I simply do not know what to do. Have any of you been through something like this before? Is there any sound advice out there? I am breaking down right now and none of my other friends want to hear anything about it because of all of the bullshit women drama I've put them through in the past.