SRS (long)what do about about 'time' v.love woes

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Beakmoney, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    First off, greetings Asylum. First post here (and by my post count you can see its one of very few).
    I need some help, my girlfriend of just over 18 months whom i love very much has decided she wants 'time to think'. We aren't broken up but basically. I need to win her back.

    Back story: She went to school in FL (originally from RI), was engaged for just under a year, fell out of love and moved back here. Got a job where i work and we started hanging out. We clicked almost immediately even though we are very different people. About 6 months in to the relationship (july 08) i left her a note next to the bed we were sleeping in that said 'i hope you slept well, i love you' and went to work. she showed up about 2 hours later (thats her schedule) with puffy eyes like she had been crying. we snuck off for a moment to talk and she said she loved me too but was too afraid to say it.
    fast forward 13 months later and i have a problem with one of her friends(trying to get in her pants). i told her 3 weeks ago now that i couldn't go on feeling the way i felt, we talked off and on for about a week and i apologized for everything i did, i had quite the awakening.
    Now she tells me she needs some time to think and feels 'nothing at all', not just about me but in general, which i'm sure is because of me. We talked a few more times and both decided we will NOT be seeing anyone else while she sorts out her feelings. one of the things she said was wrong with 'us' is that she doesn't feel anything because we have fought so many times and i went crawling back so many times that shes immune to my words. i admit absolutely everything wrong with our relationship is my fault but like i said, i have absolutely had an awakening and want, more than anything in this world, to be with her for the rest of our lives (we previously said we would eventually get married and grow old together). she said she still loves me but needs to time.

    am i screwed? i sent her flowers at work today in front of everyone (we kept our relationship away from the work place for the most part) and she thanked me but said nothing else.
    i still say good morning to her in a text message (since i am at work sometimes 5 hours before she is), i still call her every night to say goodnight and tell her that i love her.

    what do i do? how can i 'sway' her decision in 'our' favor? sometimes i feel like i should just let her come to me, but that seems likely to end up with her getting over 'us' and not at all what i want. she honestly does not know what she wants and has no interest in anyone else from what i can see.

    the power of OT, solve my problems! :bowdown:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, it's time to back way off.

    The ONLY shot you've got is if you completely stop talking to her and give her the space she asked for. You might lose her, but you're certainly going to lose her if you keep bugging her and trying to win her affection back.

    Trust me.
     
  3. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    i will only trust you if you're a female....:rofl:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I am, so trust me.
     
  5. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    trust earned.
    thank you, i appreciate it more than you know.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hug: Good luck :hs:
     
  7. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    About 90% of the time I respect and agree with what iwishyouwerebeer says, because unlike most women she has a clue about what women think about when they're in relationships.

    I agree with her in this case, but asking a woman what a woman would want in this relationship is going to backfire for you 99 out of 100 times. Unless you're asking beer, stick to talking to guys. :mamoru:

    Also, good luck and let us know how it turns out.
     
  8. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :werd: x11ty
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: If there's one thing I know well about women, it is what they are capable of when they say "I need space," or "we need a break."

    Good luck TS. Hope you stay strong and have good results doing so.
     
  10. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    thanks for the advice and encouragement beer, i will update as things happen.
     
  11. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    you can always send her my way... i'm not far. may go to gansett today, actually
     
  12. whippet_1

    whippet_1 Active Member

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    exactly what I would be afraid of
     
  13. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    haha, nice, i'm heading to my buddy's girl's house for a BBQ/beers on the deck in durkin cottages.
    silver WRX wagon NOT driving like a douche is me.
     
  14. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :mamoru: i love narragansett
     
  15. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    update: she texted me and said 'how are you, what did you do today' and proceeded to tell me about her stiff neck. that was it.
    WTF?
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: when was the last time you spoke?
     
  17. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    She was probably trolling for sympathy. I honestly don't know whether it would be a good idea to show some, because I don't know whether her reaction would be "aww, he does care, I should go back" or "okay, he hasn't forgotten about me, I can take my time".


    Anyway, you can't win her back. She has to come back on her own. You have absolutely no control over that.
     
  18. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    :rofl: friday night she called me to thank me for her flowers.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Typical.

    I more meant, have you contacted her at all since this thread? And when she texted you yesterday, what did you respond?
     
  20. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    i havent contacted her since i posted this thread.
    i told her i didn't do anything special and said 'im sorry to hear you have a stiff neck'
     
  21. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    nice. keep it up
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowdown:

    Doing fantastic man, keep it up! It's goig to start killing her that you aren't groveling at her feet to come back.
     
  23. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It's hard to say. It's also possible she'll see it as proof that he HAD stopped caring about her after all, and she should just find someone else.

    I'm not saying he shouldn't enforce the separation, but it's important not to assume things will work out the way he wants just because he does all the right things. There are two free wills at work here, not just one.
     
  24. Beakmoney

    Beakmoney OT Supporter

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    she texted me last night after i went to sleep and said 'do anything fun today? my neck still hurts'.
    awesome, huh?
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl:

    She's dying to know what you are up to, I love it :mamoru:
     

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