Long read: I need some help guys

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by N1XRR, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    This may be my thinking out loud more than anything, but I'd like other peoples opinion on this whole thing:

    I met this girl (Leah) this past New Years. We talked and generally had a good time, nothing happened really, but it was a great first time meeting her.

    Well, soon after, she moved in with 3 friends of mine in a house (Will, Will and Doug). I know these people really well, so I was pretty excited she was going to be around. Unfortunately, I had to go on a business trip and wasn't able to hang out with them for almost a month. I head to my friends place and find out Leah was in the hospital, she tells me "If I had your number I would have called you". We exchange numbers. We where joking around and she was joking how she should be upset because nobody sent her flowers or anything (it was just kidney stones).

    "If I would have had your number you could have run down here and picked up some flowers on the side of the road"
    "Yeah, dandelions...and they would have been in a Dixie cup"
    We both had a good laugh.

    The next weekend I find out that another friend of mine (Chris) is dating this girl now...crap. So, middle of February, I go to this party they have and start talking to her again. Chris isn't paying any attention to her, I'm talking, dancing and whatnot, again, pretty good....but I don't screw around with my friends chicks....thats not cool. So, I decide just to back off, not really do anything.

    Their relationship only lasts about 6 weeks or so. That takes us to middle of March. I had another business trip and a few track days to go to, so I figure it would be a good excuse to give her some time...I don't want to be the shoulder to cry on.

    In April we start talking more, calling her, she calls me, etc etc. Take her out to dinner Thursday night and then Friday night I head down to Road Atlanta for The Mitty. On the way down, I'm thinking "I should call Le..." and my phone rings....and its Leah. I'm feeling awesome at this point.

    I think things are going awesome. I take her out a few more times, things are going pretty well. Well, middle of May I head down to Key West to setup some games (I work on arcade and gambling games for a living). I get back and my friends are getting ready to movie into a new house (Will, Will, Doug and Leah). Now, that weekend was her birthday. Since they where moving, we decided to have her party the next weekend (which is this past weekend).

    Saturday I head over there, and give her a Dixie cup with dandelions in it...as we have continued the joke since she was in the hospital. "This is the most amazing present anyone has given me"

    So, now we're up to last weekend. Now, all of these guys that she's living with like Busch Light...pretty much because its cheap. Now, if they have any decent beer besides the light crap beers, they'll definetly drink it...but for parties and beer pong, Busch Light is the choice.

    Now, Leah had mentioned a few months back how she hates the light beers and that her favorite is Newcastle. Saturday night is the night of her party, and after she gets off work she comes home and I surprise her with some Newcastle. She looks at me with the "Oh my god you remembered?" look. So, I decide that night I was to make a move.

    Let me explain, things had only started getting serious (in my head) 2 weeks ago. Also, we had been exchanging glances the past few weeks...she'd smile and everything...I thought they where good signs. After dancing, some beer pong and whatnot, we are alone outside. I'm trying to get things moving, and we get interrupted. Things aren't going quite as I planned.

    So, later that night, I take her aside in her room and tell her whats up "Look, Leah, I've been thinking about this the last couple of weeks, and I really like you"
    Her response was "Really? I had no idea" .....oh crap
    "I don't want talk really talk about it right now, I just needed to tell you. Its your birthday party, go and have fun, we'll discuss it later"
    "So, you like me?"
    "Yes"
    "Well, I'm going to need some time to think about this"
    ......
    "Your sure?"
    (Nod)

    Now we're walking back to the big room and she turns back to me and says "Seriously?"
    "Yes"

    Well, thats where we left it. That was Saturday night. Sunday she had to work.

    Now, later Saturday night we where sitting on the couch and she turned to me and said "You know, getting me Newcastle was really sweet Mike, thank you"

    Okay, personally, I'm thinking this is "friend zone" territory. What do you guys think?

    Oh yeah, pics. I should mention, she's not an Off-topic stick. But I don't care about that really, I like this girl.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  2. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Well. It was quite risky saying that you like her, if you were alone you might as well have moved for the kiss, that would be the better move.

    Now you put yourself in a position where the ball is in her court and you will be playing the bitch role waiting her reaction..

    Then again it has been such a long time, I dont think it will work out. She sees you too much as a friend.

    Sorry man
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Alright. When you said that you "liked her" you left everything in her court. Could be a good thing but then again it could come back and fuck you in the long run. Only time will tell if she wants something or not.

    Unless you can take her out and make a move. Other then that your playing the waiting game unless you move on.
     
  4. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    At this point, I just needed to say something. I have been cautiously optimistic over the past few months. Prepared for the worse. So, I'm not expecting for things to go well, so, we'll see. If not, no biggie, I like her, but I'll get over it.
     
  5. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Thats a good attitude to have sometimes. Most men get hooked and stay hooked for a long time even after the relationship is over.

    Well, at least you know that is this doesn't work out for you then you can just move on and do your thing.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Never, ever tell a girl you like her.

    You sound like a child.

    At the very least, you need to be making physical moves first even if you are going to be confessing your feelings (which I don't recommend).

    You never should have put pressure on yourself to do "make a move" that night.

    You have now given her all the power. Then you could have possibly saved it when she said "I have to think about it."

    You could have said something like "What's to think about? Guys like me don't come along every day" with a shit-eating grin and some cocky bodylanguage.

    You should be having fun, not getting so serious with her.
     
  7. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Good advice, I'm still learning, albeit a bit late.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She had no idea you like her because you had pretty mch from the sounds of it just treated her like a friend. Sure you went out a few times and talked on the phone. But you never even made a move on her so she must have just expected it was a solely platonic relationship between the two of you. She sounds really confused as it is though, seeing as how she couldn't comprehend you confessing to her and her constant asking "are you for real?" followed by "I have to think about this."

    This isn't necessarily the end of the world though. Her saying she has to think about it isn't great by any means, but it's not ruling out that she's thought about you in a sexual way. I'd say the way to play it now would either be confident
    i.e. calling her up in a few days and setting a date with no questions asked "lets go see ________ Friday night at 8:30"
    or playing it vague and letting her call you to at least discover she might have some interest in you after all. If she does call you then try not to mention again things such as "I do like you." Like Yail said, show her you like her. Set up a real date with her.
     
  9. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Thank you! How could I have been so stupid? That is exactly what I was hoping for!
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    textbook example of exactly what not to do.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yail and beer pretty much hit it. You never made your intentions clear and never asked her on a date. You did not follow the normal course of courtship, so she thought you just wanted to be friends. Basically, you acted non-sexual (didn't act like you were interested in her romantically) and did not take any ACTION. Instead, you told her how you felt, which is a purely feminine and asexual move.

    Ask her on a date for a WEEKNIGHT (not Friday or Saturday) and use the word "Date." If she accepts, you're in. If she gives you an excuse (other than to reschedule) you may have a shot.

    Do not do a double date. Do not go anywhere she knows other folks - just go by yourselves. Do something small/cheap like coffee, pastries, or a drink. Just be yourself and joke, flirt, and have a good time, and use a little body language. Touch her 1-3 times an hour (or so), and compliment her ONLY once, and compliment her EFFORT (not her looks ['you're hot'], but how she looks ['you look very nice']) and that's it.

    If she blows you off, just shrug it off and don't worry about it.
     
  12. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Look at it as a learning experience.
     
  13. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Check and check. I think this is finally a step in the right direction in my thinking. Thanks a bunch guys, I'll let you know how it turns out...and probably will have more to ask.
     
  14. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Feel free to ask them and good luck.
     
  15. stag3

    stag3 Quagmire(runs outside in a robe):Hey guys, what's

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    .
     
  16. .

    I want a muffin after seeing her pics, she looks like a damn muffin to me.
     
  17. N1XRR

    N1XRR New Member

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    Well, here's an update:

    Don't know if everyone wants the long version or not, so here's the semi-short version. Went to her house on Friday, she had a co-worker that was staying the night (they had a 7:30AM "emergency meeting" Saturday, the coworkers husband doesn't get home until 9AM). I thought this was a bad thing, as the 2nd person is usually bad news. We ended up staying up to 3AM just talking.

    The next night she got off real late (10:30PM) and had a manager from another store staying the night. Turns out the owner of the place is super cheap and won't get them hotel rooms....anyway, I was thinking 2x with a 3rd person is bad. Before she went to sleep, she talked to me for a few minutes.

    "Are you coming by next weekend?"
    "I'm not sure..."
    "I won't have anyone else over next week"

    Note: I am going to the track next weekend, so I won't be around...but...

    Called her tonight, asked her out Thursday after she gets off of work.

    Thanks for the advice everyone! Weekday dates FTW?
     

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