SRS Long post, stress, me. everything

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FyreDaug, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    I had a rough family life growing up with an abusive drunk father so I had to learn things myself most of the time, I never really counted on him for much of anything but recently I began to realize that sucks. I wish he hadnt been the way he was and maybe its part of a result of how im fucked up. The last time I lived with him was probably close to 3 years ago, I think maybe 2. and the reason we dont live together is because we got into a fight and I ended up with a gash on my head and he had a broken jaw, needed stitches and had some constant migrane and my mom saw it and called the cops and they took him away. Ive seen him a couple times and hes a dick, hes fat now and doesnt really work anymore (used to be high up in cameco) and since he "left" he broke into our house and took a bunch of stuff, including a bunch of my savings money. Took my brothers mutual fund out for himself and ended up stealing my new sunfire from my work, which eventually got me fired for being "unreliable". That was pretty shitty.

    Im not going to get into details of the car, but it was a piece of shit, it was an 04 sunfire gt that I got brand new. I made the payments on it, but it was in my dads name (lease) because I wasnt 18 at the time. Anyways, when he took it (him and hid brother) they also took my fuckin cell phone and my cash for the night, along with a debit machine from dominos (where I was working) and my stereo. Eventually when I got the car back (we had his GTP, we offered a trade because my mom didnt want the gtp and I wanted my sunflower back) I had already gotten a new cell phone and stuff but I still didnt have a job.

    Shit went on for a long time, its been like 2 or 3 years now since hes gone liek I said, and my mom ended up keeping the house (with the aid of her sister-in-laws brother, who she is now seeing) JERRY! JERRY! but he got all the shit inside it.

    So fast forward to more recently: Ive been dating brittany for almost 1.5 years and weve been living together since may. Im 19 and I was managing Homers Pizza on 8th in sask until it was bought out by this damn iraqi guy who fucked everything up with the business and fired a bunch of people and hes now not even buying the place for sure... WTF. So basically I just deliver pizzas on the weekend when I make some pocket cash and work at Minacs(apple) during the day. Its alright and it pays the bills but not as well as they should. BACKGROUND: The sunfire ended up being a lemon and broke down all the time, GMAC ended up taking it back and leaving me with a subsidized bill of which my grandmother covered until I have some money, and Ive been paying her back slowly and I live in a big house with like 6-7 people all renting this fuckin-nuts house when he works at the diamon mine where Im the "Manager" of the house, I end up paying the bills and taking care of almost everything for slightly cheaper rent.

    So moving onto the "landlord" aka the dick that works at the mine, to make a long story short hes fuckin me around with rent money and im not collecting enough to pay all the bills, and hes threatening to kick me and my gf out for "stealing" from him. Anyways, he parties all the time when hes here, and I godda be up before 7 every morning for work and its really frusterating to try to sleep. He breaks shit all the time too and he just says to take it off the rent... blah blah blah useless details, bottom line he owes me money.


    Me and britt decided we were getting outta there, so found another place across town closer to where I used to live in an apartment, its pretty nice and im gonna be glad to get outta here. Its gonna cost me near 1800 by march first to get all bills payed up, damage deposit and a full months rent britt just started a new job, so Im kind of supporting her till she gets back on her feet, shes in overdraft right now and I found out that he credit card is almost maxxed out too. Now if I do all this im gonna not have much money for anything, Im planning on buying a car (since mine is broken and im trying to sell it, ive been driving her car) but im not gonna be able to. I went from having quiet a bit of stuff to next to nothing pretty quick, and I like to buy stuff to treat myself and britt every now and then.

    Anyways, to sum that part up, im gonna be broke to end up happier.

    ****
    So the stressful part is I started a new job with alot of potential, but I dont really like it, its supposed to be hard at first, with all the new training they had us do and stuff, and it takes alot to learn everything. I work 2 jobs, only about 55 hours a week, but still more than enough, and Ive been trying hard lately to cope with everything, but Ive been relying on weed quite a bit. Its been driving britt crazy and she keeps telling me to stop or atleast cut down and ive been bitchy when she tells me that but ive been saying in march things will change, itll be just us, no noise, no fuckin roommate messes or fuckin drunk landlords to deal with and things will be better, and I wont need to rely on weed so much. But I havent promised anything.

    I want to though, I graduated in 2004 and I only started smoking weed in grade 12, I was no A student but I got through it all, but after grade 12 I just kept smoking more and more, infact Im high right now but whatever, im coherant enough to post all this in a pretty sensible fashion beit long.

    Ive been noticing alot of girls lately though, britts definately good looking and its no fight to get laid, but its pretty much the same thing and we do it so damn often it just feels like I wanna try something else (which is a different post in here, so I dont need to continue much) but I feel guilty looking, because britt means everything to me and I dont want to hurt her, but as everything else is, its hard.

    I miss the whole flirting thing in my single high school days and I cant remember much of it anymore, but I dont want to feel guilty for being human. So thats another thing on my mind.

    Money is another, I owe money everywhere and I havent even signed anything to loan me money. I support my best friend kind of too, anytime he needs money im there to be able to lend it to him because hes not too good with money and he owed me upwards to 850 bucks right now. He had a rough time with not keeping a job, but I got him a job at minacs and hes doing pretty good.

    I dont know how to wrap this up, any idea on what I should do? How to help cope with stress? It seems that Im always in charge on things and everyone relies on me. That was fine before, but its hard enough being 19, living on your own, supporting your girlfriend, partially supporting your friend, working 2 jobs, not having a car and BEING 19!.

    Fucked. :sadwavey: :hsd: :hs: :wtc:
     
  2. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Am I hopeles then? :ugh:
     
  3. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    Well thumbs up first of all for staying on top of things and not giving and just letting things crash and burn, becasue you could have done that. As for now.. You have a nice plan layed out, which is the key. Just make sure you stick to your plan.

    Le Weed-
    Waste of money that you really need, but if it helps you get by, hey.. you've been through alot, you need something. (to anyone who disagrees, this is the real world, nothings perfect..) But once you're smooth sailing you should stop for her and for yourself. Either way it's not the answer.

    Le GF-
    This is a time where you two need each other. YOu guys should use each other for motivation, so there's no reason for you to be looking at other girls, unless you really don't care about Britt. And I know you do, right?

    Le Money-
    You are gonna end up broke either way, you are gonna owe money everywhere. Step 1: accept it. Ok? done. Step 2 continue both jobs, as stressful as it is, to pay off money. Once you're on solid ground again, you can ease up and probably work less. You and your GF will probably be able to figure out how much you need a week to be comfortable. To get comfortable though, there will be lots of time and work involved, but it's worth it.

    Le Stress-
    To deal with it in your situation is, in theory, pretty simple. You just need to look ahead. Look ahead to your near future. You're getting your own place in a month, you'll be able to live smoothly with your GF after the money's paid off, etc. Weed's not the solution, it's only gonna be a temporary fix remmeber that.

    So in conclusion! It's all about taking it slowly and getting by each bridge as they come. You and your GF need each other in this time so don't go out trying to find another girl or anything, you have a good thing with you, you probably just don't realize it welll enough.

    You'll be fine in the long run because you have a plan laid out that will work.
     
  4. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Yeah but its just the timing for everything is real bad, and ive been smoking quite a bit lately, 2-3bowls/day, like 8 bucks maybe and I know it sucks, Ive kind of made "promises" that ill slow down in march, but life doesnt fix then, the only difference that was made in march is that I have less money and got away from the roommates, and I still dont have a car, infact I dont even have a license right now (shh... stil driving gf's car) because I dont have enough to pay for the accidents against my license, which is at 925 canadian right now. 2 accidents with the sunfire, 1 time was because the ABS I paid for failed mid-brake and I slide sideways into someone because all 4 locked. But whatever, not the topic.

    Fact is, life sucks, like you said and its not perfect, nor will it ever be. I dont care what anyone says, money does equal happiness. /sentance.

    The apartment actually costs more because I was getting cheaper rent and splitting 1 room with gf. This apt is 2bedroom, close to 900sq feet, which is pretty good, and its 580/month + 580 damage deposit. Britt has no money like I probably said before, and the bills for last month came today, looking at 230 or so for natgas and 170 for power, 400 bucks. And probably close to that next month aswell. Not including phone/internet either, its gonna be damn near 2100 to move next month. :wtc:
     
  5. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    That's where $8 on weed/day kills you. thats 240 a month. Only about 4 months till you lost a grand. All for what? You coulda had a car for a grand. Stop wallowing in self pity (you're doing okay in that so far), and serouisly keep progressing on foward. Keep a journal/log of what you do every day then look back on it every so often, I guarentee you'll smile at your progress and gain motivation to keep going. Just keep thinking about a future you want, and know that you CAN obtain it. It just gonna take some work. You're young, you'll be able to enjoy life very soon, just get through the hard part first. :wiggle:
     
  6. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Makes sense, that 8bucks/day has been really only since mid january when things were rough before I turned 19. So it hasnt been too long, I used to buy a 20 every 2 weeks, and thats how Id like to get back to it, it doesnt have the same effect I remember it having when I first started. Its just nice to come home after having to get up at 6:30, work till 4, then work 5-9 most days and go home. Fridays I work 5-3am instead of just 9. And saturdays I work 5-11 or so.

    I know my weed intake needs to decrease, but I wont do it at work. If I fuck that up im really screwed but its hard working here during the day sometimes, its mostly still training stuff, but its ALOT to take in. I didnt have too much experience with macs before and I need to be able to support them, so yeah its alot to learn and take in.

    I wouldnt call it self pity, I dont pity myself I dont think. Its godda be something else and im sure theres a word for it, but depressive and bi-polar can sometimes come into play with it too. My life does suck, or atleast has and does and has potential to get better. But for what I really want to do in life its all about who you know, not quite as much as what you know, but obviously you godda be good. Recognition helps, and I need money to get there. Its all a vicious circle.
     
  7. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,047
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Provincialism
    Welcome to this crazy event called "LIFE".
     
  8. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    7,877
    Likes Received:
    0
    One day at a time.

    Dealing with stress:
    I smoke about the same amount of weed as you. It isn't as good at reducing stress as you might think. If it really clears your mind from things that are bothering you...why did you decide to write a post on the Asylum asking for help when you were high? The cure to stress is peace of mind, and it seems to me like weed isn't giving to you.

    Money:
    Try setting yourself up a budget. Figure out on paper how much you owe who, and how you're going to pay it. Give yourself an amount of spending money per week, etc, etc. This should help you deal with worrying about money all the time, because you have a solution. Weed is also expensive. $8/day = $240/month = probably about half the paycheck from one of your jobs.

    Girlfriend:
    This is one of the things in your life that you have that is good. Appreciate that. The last thing you need right now is to be in the "flirting game". What you do need is something concrete and consistent, which you have.
     
  9. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    You're in a hole. Sounds like you're trying very hard to climb out and I offer you my encouragement.

    Couple things that other's have already mentioned but I'll just add a little to it:

    If you're in debt with money...you really have to reduce the extra stuff as much as possible. Anything that isn't essential has to go *insert weed* Forget the whole mind-inducing drug thing for a second and just the raw cost of an $8/day habit is digging you into a deeper hole.

    Also, I know it's hard, but try not to spend more to "treat" yourself. We all do that sometimes, "oh it's a Friday, I worked hard all week I deserve to go out and spend some money on myself". That's fucked up thinking. Treat yourself by paying off your debt. Feel good knowing each little bit you toss in to pay off your debt you're getting close to financial freedom. Find ways to treat yourself that don't necessarily involve as much spending...

    When you get that replacement car...get something used. And get something more reliable this time. We all like nice cars but when it comes down to digging yourself out of a hole, think of it only as something that gets you from point A to point B. So get something with low maintenance.

    And your GF....think hard about that. How many people you see post here every day looking for that partner they might never have? If you have someone you care for a lot, it's not something you should toss away just because things are routine. You should talk with her to spice things up a bit between you.
     
  10. The Militant

    The Militant THE FUTURE

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2004
    Messages:
    8,722
    Likes Received:
    0
    shit, ive never met my dad but if he did some of the shit yours did to you to me id beat his ass.

    get people like your friend to stop relying on you so much and take care of one thing at a time and dont overload yourself.

    you don't want to hear what i have to say about long term relationships but it seems like your thinking can turn into action.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2006
  11. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Yeah its an expensive habbit, but atleast I dont smoke, its still cheaper than smoking and its easier to quit... the problem is I just dont *want* to. Since everything escalated to where it is now it just feels good. Im cutting down as of today, bring that 8 to no more than 5, and slowly drop it down. Its gonna be a REALLY LONG day today though, plus I godda start packing
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Imagine that your financial situation represents a boat on sea, that you, your gf, and all those other people who you support are on it. Because your dad never learned you how to navigate thru life and steer properly your ship is constantly crashing into rocks, and landing on sand ,while not listening and forseeing the bad omens in the sky ,making your ship go thru rough sea's all the time during your whole goddam life.

    The ship is full with leaks, people are abandoning the ship, your dad commits mutiny , your treasure gets plundered, your whole life could have been a pirate story.

    There are a few concepts that you desperately need to learn.

    - Just Working hard is stupid, your boat(financial situation) is full of leaks , meaning that you will have to put planks and paste and use a hammer in your life to nail them down to prevent that money flows to people/things that you really don't need. If the money stops from leaking you will have a lot more left then when it goes towards unneccesary things.

    - Your life is chaotical like this /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ You need to bring order in your life so it will go like this ----------------- because the more shit you get to your head the unhappier your life will be, all that mess in your life is good for nothing , so it will be motivational to get rid of all that rubbish in your life.

    -Get rid of the people that bring shit in your life. Misery comes from people primairly , the most horrible misery that we experience in life is most of the time caused by other people. The idea that you could bring your dad back to senses is far less plausible then that your dad could ruin your life. brb gotta eat -> back it was great =)

    anyway if you live a more steady life you could cut down on the weed so you don't have to suppres and are able to cope with every situation that confronts you.

    When it comes to your gf, i want to give you the following advice ,anything that has TOO for it is bad for you. If you have sex frequently it becomes boring, the same and not a special occassion, same is when you eat food when your full it won't taste half as good as when you are hungry.

    You should only have sex when one of you two or both really desires eachother, so you can put full love for that other person in the act , that along with reading some articles on-line that can give some tips on how to increase the fun into your sex life. That way you won't have to send your gf Britt thru ABSOLUTE HELL by cheating on her. Trust me you DONT want to go there, you two should stick together because the past has proven that you two support eachother, and that's rare in couples nowadays unfortunatly.

    I would cut down your workweek to 40 hours once you closed all the leaks in your financial situation. From therewards i would try to find a 'location' + 'situation' in which you will remain to live a undisturbed life as much as possible, and not getting excited in a bad manner when things do occur by remaining calm and using your intelligence to deal with the situation.

    Remember no one has ever become rich from spending money, therefore keep your money in you wallet (there is where it should be ) , and don't spend money on things you don't need.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2006
  13. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Wow thanks for the read Darketernal, the advice in this thread is worth the AV purchase ;)

    Anyways, its just that I owe too much money and I dont think im gonna be happy until im above the water, its leaked too much that im over my head.

    I dont want to cheat on britt, but I want to go explore, doesnt have to be anything sexual like I said, but theres few girls I hang around with now... well since we started dating and Im getting tired of the sausage fest with the guys. Theres a chick from work that we "hit it off" or whatever you wanna call it, I figure shes cool and we agreed to hang out some time, shes got a boyfriend anyways, im not after poon, just want to live... is that still wrong? I miss teh ladiez :(
     
  14. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    It's not wrong if it's a mutual friend thing. Just don't let it turn into something more. Are you going to be telling your GF that you'll be hanging out with her? You could be running the risk of making her find out the hard way you hung out with another girl. Unless, of course, she's completly cool with that anyway. I don't see why she'd have a problem with it. But hey some people do anyway. Overall though, there's nothign wrong with it as long as it's on a friend level.
     

Share This Page