Long Distance Relationships...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StopDrop&LOL, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    What are your thoughts on them? Do they work? Are they a waste of time? Just trying to see what the majority thinks.
     
  2. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    They work if both involved understand how hard it will be, are willing to put the work/effort in, are able to communicate, and there is some sort of end to the distance in future (even if it's years down the road). They can be very rewarding and will teach you a lot about yourself and relationships but they are hard as fuck. Good luck if you're getting into one!
     
  3. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    it's not a long distance relaitonship. it's hibernation
     
  4. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    :werd:
     
  5. Rich

    Rich New Member

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    No worky
     
  6. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I know they can work, but from the few people who i know that have been in LDR, they havent worked out too well. It doesnt seem like there's a high success rate.
     
  7. runawaycamel

    runawaycamel New Member

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    I was in one for about 7 months. We both went into it in good spirits, saw each other once every 2 months or so...In the end he cheated on me, so I dont think very highly of them. It really messed with me, but everyone is different.
     
  8. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    they work if both partners are committed and are into one another
     
  9. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    problem being that you can never know if your partner is in it for the long haul, and you have to have faith in them with the odds being against you.
     
  10. dumbaznboy

    dumbaznboy New Member

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    ive thought about this one....while i know personally, that id be willing to commit to one it seems unlikely that my current gf or any future ones would be okay with it.

    (i say this only because Im planning on going into the military after i graduate from college...and my gf has brought up the fact that im planning on (not garunteed due to a few factors) doing this and where we're going to be when/if that comes)
     
  11. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    that's a risk every couple takes long distance or not if you really look at it :dunno:
     
  12. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    :werd:
     
  13. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    Started my current relationship LD. Started out visiting her for a weekend every two months. Then it jumped to approx. once every three weeks (averaged).
    We talked on the phone every night (free minutes ftw), for anywhere from 2 to 5 hours. Talked to each other on IM.
    The advantage was that we started 180 miles away. Didn't have to make the transition, just didn't know any better.
    What helped the most was having times to look forward to, to meet up. "I'm going down there in three weeks for the weekend" or "You're done with school in a month, yay!" Instead of "I'll see you when I see you."
    Did it suck? Oh yes. Am I glad I tried it? Absolutely. We're at a little under a year, and people already think we're married by the way we act.
    There, a small little glimmer of hope.
     
  14. RacerJ

    RacerJ New Member

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    The current gf and i started dating about 3 weeks before classes ended for the summer, so we were about 5 hours apart from each other for a good solid 3 months. the way we made it work was:
    1) visited each other about once a month
    2) talked a lot on the phone, even if it was just for a quick "how was your day? what did you do?" sort of thing
    3) made each of our feelings towards each other pretty clear before the distance (we both wanted to become bf/gf, but we knew that the distance was hard so we held off on putting a 'title' on it for awhile)

    i think the 2nd point is the most important. since you're constantly hearing about the other person's day, it's like you've experienced it with them and can share in some of their experiences. To me, this is a big part of being in a relationship. I had another long distance relationship before this. the first two things on that list we didnt do, and we ended up just breaking it off because it was too hard.

    You also have to keep the "end" of the long distance in your mind. I think without a set "end" to the long distance, the relationship wouldnt work. If there is some sort of "end" to it (example: both of you go to different cities for the summer, but return to the same city when the summer is over), then you should try to get as much out of the LD part of the relationship as possible. When else are you going to be able to go out with the guys without having to think about what she's doing?

    Every situation is different. Some people are just better suited for LD relationships than others. People who are attached at the hip to their SO probably cant make the long distance work. People who are independent, social, and committed are usually the ones that make it work
     
  15. Bounty15

    Bounty15 OT Supporter

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    Not if you communicate with them everyday...

    Oh and I've been in one for 3 years.
     
  16. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Well...im a guy and being away from someone for long periods of time combined with being young...i think it would be hard for me to be faithful. I mean LDR as in two different states....not hours away.
     
  17. sweetpealmost

    sweetpealmost New Member

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    I've had one LDR which ended badly. It started out fine. WE talked everyday on the phone or online. But then he went abroad. Since we could nolong talk everyday it made things hard there became a lot more distance emotionally since we we didn't really know what was going on in each others lives. It end ed up with both of us unhappy. I swore off of LDR. However, i met my current boyfriend only 3 weeks before school end. We didn't become official right away since we had only know each other for a short time. We began talking every day and he even came to visit. We knew that re really wanted to be in a relationship and decided it was worth the effort. We both have the same expectations for it and make sure to talk as much as possible. With a lot of effort we're making it work and i'm glad i tried it a second time. I'm optamistic, seeing as i only have 49 more days of it. We and end in sight and effort on both parts i really think it can work, but communication and openness are the key to making it work.
     
  18. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Mine worked, but many others that I've seen haven't. Our relationship had a 3 hour drive between us (I was in NC, he was in SC), and for awhile we would only see each other one weekend every 2-3 weeks. Eventually we started seeing one another more, about every weekend (that took a nice hit in my wallet - gas guzzling Camaro was NOT very efficient for the 220mi drives!) and at 6 months I moved there. We were going to wait a year before I moved down to SC, but after spending 3 weeks with him while his family was on vacation we both decided we loved being around each other more. 2 years after moving in, all is still wonderful and we're getting married in 7 months.

    It takes communication and trust for the relationship to work though. His ex lives 5 minutes down the street and was dead-set on getting him back for the first few months. But I trusted him, and we communicated feelings about everything, without the fear of the other person getting pissed or offended. (A year & a half after the last time he saw her, she messaged him hoping he ditched me - no such luck :mamoru: He told her about the upcoming wedding and she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared).

    My best friend was in 2 LDR's, both of them seemed kind of retarded to me. She DID move to Indiana to be with one of the guys, but they never had trust in one another nor talked about realities in their situation. I think it was more about them THINKING they wanted to be with each other, but actually LIVING with one another wasnt going to work.

    So whether or not it will work? All depends on the two people in the relationship. The communication, trust, and the equal desire to put forth the effort to make it work. If any of that is missing, chances are its a waste of time.
     
  19. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

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    Been there done that....I will NEVER do that shit again.

    I'm too much of an attention whore for that shit :o
     
  20. jaywalk85

    jaywalk85 New Member

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    I'm sort of in one right now. I'm dating a girl that goes to school with me here in Williamsburg, but she had to go back home to Cleveland for the summer. I wouldn't want to be in it if we didn't have her coming back to look forward to. We try to visit each other about once a month.

    I've been in a LDR in the past where there was no hope for the end of it, I would never do that again.
     
  21. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Arg, Im next in this line. Im moving to tallahasse for college. Only going to be a year, then she moves up to gainsville. 2 hours away, yea, but its better than 8 hours
     
  22. straight ridah

    straight ridah New Member

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    Didn't work for me, lasted a solid year though. And we made sure to try see each other every weekend if we could. But ended up taking up too much time on the phone and internet talking and shit, that I was distracted from other things such as friends and studying.

    Long distance relationships FTL in my books.
     
  23. MissJenn

    MissJenn New Member

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    i agree with most comments of "they work if both parties are committed"...

    my boyfriend is actually on his way home from iraq after an extended tour blah blah, its been 2 years since hes been HOME for an extended period of time. this never would have worked out if we hadnt BOTH been committed and understanding of this sort of relationship. it was not easy by any means but i think it can be done.

    :love:
     
  24. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Waste of time. They do not work. They are for people who want to easily get away with cheating. Its pretty much having a friend to talk to on the phone and fuck when they come in town, then you get rid of them. So maybe it is an ok thing if you want barely any commitment.
     
  25. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I agree that in THAT situation it can work.
     

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