LGBT Lonely

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Kitler, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    I thought I would go ahead and make this its own thread, I just copy and pasted from what I wrote in the random thoughts thread:









    Ugh It's been three weeks, and I still haven't talked to my friend (Blake if ya'll didn't know [Yes thats his picture in the hotties thread])
    I hadn't really missed him for like 2 weeks, but now I miss him more than ever.
    He has this pillow that he left from last time he was here, and everytime I see it, it reminds me off him.
    I am having some trouble though I can't tell if I thought we were better friends than we actually are, because of the way this email was worded to one of my friends. Oh, and this is just a couple days after the whole thing happened with him
    What do you guys think?
    I mean he was coming all the way down from oregon to vist me ( He is 16 to, but lives in oregon, but he would come every other week or so.)
    Does this sound like what a really good friend would say about there friend?
    ;
     
  2. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    2,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    I don't see any selfishness or any part of that which shows me that he dislikes you or isn't your friend. I see a good friend there, who's every sentence shows that he thinks he's doing what's best for you, and maybe is a little in over his head in dealing with the situation, as you both are only 16, hell, I'm years older and not equipped to deal with some situations still, no matter how much I train for them in my social work classes.

    hang in there, his actions and his words show that he cares for you, but is maybe overwhelmed a bit with the situation

    now about the whole not being able to speak to him because he'll speak to his parents thing, well, keep talking to your doctor, it's healthy to get your feelings out in the open, and at least you have confidentiality with him, and when your friend is a little bit stronger, start speaking to him, but make sure and mention that you want to tell him some things, but can't have your/his parents knowing about it...
     
  3. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Messages:
    41,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Red Sox Nation
    He actually is looking out for you. And he is the rare kind of REALLY good friend that not many people have. So consider yourself very fortunate he is putting your welfare first, even though it may not seem like it at the time.

    I think you just need to take a step back (if you haven't already done so) and realize you did put a lot of weight on his chest having him be the only person who knew what was going on with you. He is your age -- he doesn't have any clinical training and he sounds like an amazing friend to have, but still, he is a teenager and you placed a cumbersome issue squarely on his shoulders.

    Just give it some time, get your cards in order, then the next time you talk to him just thank him profusely for being such a good friend. And don't make an advance on him - don't lose him as a friend.
     
  4. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    I think he was misunderstanding when he went to his mom, because he wasn't the only one in this, this time.

    I made sure I was talking to my doctor and everything, and we made a agreement that he wouldn't be the only one, but I don't think I made it clear enough for him that he wasn't the only one, sure he was one of the biggest parts of my support system, but I had other people I was going to as well.
     
  5. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Messages:
    41,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Red Sox Nation
    I think I'm in a rare position just because I went through something similar. I stopped one of my fraternity brothers from killing himself and he literally attached himself to me for about a year and I just couldn't handle it because I was 20 years old and not very mature.

    With all respect, you have to realize how much of a burden it is on someone when they know you are capable of doing something terrible and permanent. Even if he isn't the only person that is involved...it is still a gigantic burden to shoulder.

    You are a sharp kid. We can twist semantics as long as you want but the important thing to admit is that he DOES care about you. And in my opinion he is doing the right thing putting some distance between you two for now. He wants you to be strong and healthy without using him as a crutch; or without him aggravating you.

    In my own situation, I was a crutch and an enabler. And he ended up killing himself a year after I stopped him the first time. And guess what, "I wasn't the only person involved".

    Suicide is not a small thing. Especially for people in our age range, nobody wants that kind of responsibility. It's sad but yeah, we want to be young and carefree and such.
     
  6. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    Yea.

    Did you feel guilty at all when you friend killed himself? Cayse if it was me I would see myself being left feeling really guilty that I didn't do all that I could
     
  7. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Messages:
    41,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Red Sox Nation
    As arrogant as I am, even I realized that some people can't be saved from themselves. It sounds really bad...but I drink a lot; my best friend smokes three packs a day; my father is eighty pounds overweight...and everyone knows what they do is bad for them.

    I think that's a bad way to go about life but saving a life is hard and miracles don't exist in life - if someone wants to die, they will kill themselves. Not a matter of "if" but just "when".

    That might just be a cop out though and that was the only way for me to move on from his death...I don't know.

    I was actually trying to cheer you up when I first started posting in this thread but now I am worried I am having the opposite effect. :(
     
  8. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    No your not,
    I am actually going to have a good friend of mine call him tmmrw and tell him that I am doing really good, because I actually am doing really well.
     
  9. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    God I can't get blake off my mind its killing me.

    Anyone have an suggestions?
     
  10. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Messages:
    41,201
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Low Haight
    I don't mean to ask something so personal, but this situation may be familiar to me. :hs:

    Are you in love with him?
     
  11. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    Yea I thought I said that somewhere, but yea I am. thats why it was so hard for me.
     
  12. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Messages:
    41,201
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Low Haight
    and he's straight?
     
  13. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    Well... yea I dunno sometimes I wonder, but as far as I know he is. I might try to get some action from him.

    I think I might have made another thread/post about him awhile back.
     
  14. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Messages:
    41,201
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Low Haight
    Ay pobrecito :hs: don't fall for the straight guys. I did that once when I was about your age, he was my best friend, bandmate, neighbor...we did everything together. i was so afraid of coming out at the time so I held everything back and it nearly killed me. literally, i thought about suicide but i was never that serious about it. anyhow, the only thing i could think of that would help was to confess everything to him. which i did behind tears. he told me right out that he was straight and there will never be anything between us. I was pretty much devastated and i couldn't be around him anymore. however, after some years we got to be friends again. the weird thing is that now, i realize, he's soooooo not my type and i don't find him attractive at all anymore (what was i thinking! :mamoru: ) Which helped me become really good friends with him again. in fact, he's having my bf and i over for dinner tomorrow night :)

    so if you are asking, my advice would be to tell him everything.
    honesty > *
     
  15. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    He basically already know everything :p
     
  16. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    Guess who I just heard from!
     
  17. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    For those of you that care I just got done talking to him on aim
     
  18. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Well, from reading the IM conversation between you two, I would suggest easing off on him. You come on very strong, with questions about him missing you all over the place, which can be extremely overbearing. I realize that you haven't spoken to him in a long time and that you do miss him a lot, but I would suggest just talking about what's been going on in your lives rather than his feelings for you.

    Speaking from personal experience, I feel really uncomfortable when people ask me if I feel the same way about them. Let him talk about his feelings when he feels like it.
     
  19. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,564
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Wa.
    Yea,
    I need to avoid talking about his feelings, but now I am going to have my friend probe around abit try to figure him out.:x:
     
  20. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I'm sure that he can figure out that you're having your friend ask for you. Don't try to pull the feelings out of him...he'll talk when he's ready.
     
  21. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    ...God, I felt uncomfortable just reading that. And I actually AM queer! I think you should listen to Mati.
     
  22. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2007
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit, Murder Mitten
    .

    btw, COD4 is the shit lol
     
  23. boeingair

    boeingair New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Messages:
    146
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree--that was rough.

    Take it down a notch.
     
  24. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    ...I'm sorry, but what are you saying here? :o
     
  25. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2007
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit, Murder Mitten

Share This Page