SRS Lonely in second year university after taking a term off

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Wonderboy, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Well i was just looking around asylum to see if there was anyone with similar problem to mine and found this

    and found this

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3640822


    i'm at the same situation.only i'm 20... i lived in the dorm last year, life was great. and took a term of and moved back to the city last month with someone i don't know and can't hang out with (he's like 40)

    well i feel like either people aren't doing anything or that they are avoiding me now that they got their own shit goin, and that everyone lives around the city... i can't really make any friends at the university because i'm in engineering.. and 95% of my student is hardcore nerds who play starcraft on their weekends, which is what i don't want to do..

    i'm looking up some volunteering or clubs to join to... any suggestions welcome... to meet with some people...
    going to start going to the gym

    also my first serious gf broke up with me this past summer... and i can't seem to attract any girls... i've never felt like this.. i lived in a moderately sized town...2 high schools and feel so alone in this big city...




    edit: i thought i would just put my last post here as well

    Also i realized that I rely too much on interpersonal relationships with people. I didn't really have any hobbies other than basketball and listening to music growing up.. and by grade 9, i started working and didn't stop until university (now i live off of osap loans) anyways so i couldn't do any extracurricular activities or hobbies and i just went to school, went to work, and went to parties.. and i loved it, and had alotta friends and partied every weekend... but now that i'm in university and not working, i want to spend my free time with people, because i don't have anythign occupy myself with and that i simply got used to it last year... Residence was good because of that for last year, simply because there was people everywhere.. and now that i live alone off campus, i just feel depressed when i'm alone while many people are comfartable by themselves... And this leads to unhealthy eating i realized too, like just ordering in or overindulging when i can't find something to do some night

    But i realize that now, and picking up hobbies, and trying to join some clubs... I'm so glad i brough my guitar up, i practice everyday and i'm getting really better at it. Also i have started to mix my own music. I'm about to buy a keyboard and a mixer too.. Also i'm gonna join the gym on campus, and trying to get into intramurals for basketball... And i wanted to join the boxing club but they emailed me saying it was cancelled for this year

    anyways that's what i have been thinkin the past couple days...

    btw last year i was high everday, with people... i got high with like 3 different groups of friends in one day.. it affected my grades .... so now i quit, only occasionaly smoke, never have weed with me... It's tough at first because you are used to just gettin high and watchin seinfeld or something when you are bored, and now i'm forced to practice guitar, or study or shit like that.. It was tough at first but i'm gettin used to it..

    Well this was a long post... and can't really put any cliffs for it
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2008
  2. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    also i know there is gonna be "get a hobby" replies but what are the ones that get you friends though

    i started playing the guitar, and started mixing some of my own tunes recently...but that's about it...

    other than that my life is classes, studying, OT, and internet...
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you can join clubs @ a university.... thats the best way to make friends id guess. i never joined any but i liked being alone in college soo....
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    1) Get in or start a band
    2) Play Frat and Sorority parties
    3) ???
    4) Profit
     
  5. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    i'm a beginner... i'm no where near at playin in a band or at parties... :hs:
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So what....just turn up the volume. Everyone at frat parties is totally hammered anyways....all they want is something good to dance to.

    There's a local group here that plays nothing but disco. They have fake wigs and look like 70s pimps. They aren't great musicians but they know how to put on a show and they are fun as hell....and I've only ever seen them while sober.

    Sometimes it's not always how well you play but how well you entertain.

    And everyone knows, musicians get all the ladies.
     
  7. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    being in a band right now is a bit far-fetched
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Ironically, you're BEST choice to meet people would be at school. lol

    And your assessment of Engineering students is way off. Most of the Engineering students at my school were cool as shit. There were a few nerds, but not 95% :ugh:.
     
  9. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    lol im' not saying all engineers are like that... i go to UofToronto... you would understand if you lived in ontario.. it's a tough problem and filled with nerds... hardly any white kids at all.. all asian or indian... not that it's a bad thing.... i'm not white, i'm turkish.. but they are all nerds... and i'm serious.. if i made friends with them, i would be working on a lab on a weekend with them, or playin starcraft...
     
  10. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    so... yeah
     
  11. PooP

    PooP New Member

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    Come down to Jersey and hang out :wavey:

    But in serious-ness, find a club at your school that you'd be interested in. Thats the best way to meet people with the same interests as you and it gives you something to do rather then just sit at home.

    What are you interested in?
     
  12. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    music... guitar, and recently got into electro/house.. so i started mixing my own music..

    i'm looking to join to basketball...


    other than i don't know... i read aloota books... there might be a club for that...

    and foreign/ indie movies..
    what else... i have never travelled.. because i'm poor, but i'm very much up for camping and shit, and also traveling overseas when i graduate...

    that's about it...
     
  13. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    i've just emailed a bunch of clubs at my university... like boxing, jam club, outdoors, and bunch of shit like that...

    and i'll be joinin them
     
  14. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    Yeah I don't know I guess this is just how life is supposed to be at times. I think most people go through shitty periods in their lives, just in different ways. I mean I go to USC and I still manage to get bored or not do anything on weekends. Not that I don't want to, but just can't find anything to do. I tell that to people and they just get frustrated knowing where I live and what school I go to but really I try my best.
     
  15. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    yea plus when i do end up going out, sometimes i just wanna come right back because i don't enjoy it or something unless i'm really drunk or high...

    Also i realized that I rely too much on interpersonal relationships with people. I didn't really have any hobbies other than basketball and listening to music growing up.. and by grade 9, i started working and didn't stop until university (now i live off of osap loans) anyways so i couldn't do any extracurricular activities or hobbies and i just went to school, went to work, and went to parties.. and i loved it, and had alotta friends and partied every weekend... but now that i'm in university and not working, i want to spend my free time with people, because i don't have anythign occupy myself with and that i simply got used to it last year... Residence was good because of that for last year, simply because there was people everywhere.. and now that i live alone off campus, i just feel depressed when i'm alone while many people are comfartable by themselves... And this leads to unhealthy eating i realized too, like just ordering in or overindulging when i can't find something to do some night

    But i realize that now, and picking up hobbies, and trying to join some clubs... I'm so glad i brough my guitar up, i practice everyday and i'm getting really better at it. Also i have started to mix my own music. I'm about to buy a keyboard and a mixer too.. Also i'm gonna join the gym on campus, and trying to get into intramurals for basketball... And i wanted to join the boxing club but they emailed me saying it was cancelled for this year :(

    anyways that's what i have been thinkin the past couple days...

    btw last year i was high everday, with people... i got high with like 3 different groups of friends in one day.. it affected my grades .... so now i quit, only occasionaly smoke, never have weed with me... It's tough at first because you are used to just gettin high and watchin seinfeld or something when you are bored, and now i'm forced to practice guitar, or study or shit like that.. It was tough at first but i'm gettin used to it..

    Well this was a long post... and can't really put any cliffs for it :hs:
     
  16. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    What do you mean by relying on interpersonal relationships?
     
  17. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    as in not being happy if i'm not goin out with friends, or getting overly mad when people cancel plans, you know, i feel like i'm either going out or feeling like shit because i'm not out on a typical weekend evening
     
  18. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    this is a pretty slow subforum eh...

    i check this thread like twice a day...:hs:
     
  19. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    hang out at a bar? meet new people.... make friends with the locals?
     
  20. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    yeah i know what you mean, i do that too, i don't really know how to solve it besides keeping a certain emotional distance
     
  21. originalM

    originalM Correctamundo.

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    I agree. you'd be surprised how simple it is to learn songs that people will recognize and won't sound too bad, and you'll gain confidence and experience along the way. Hell, if you're in to mixing do mashups and things and just go "DJ" @ parties for free. People will love you for it, and they won't remember if you screw up once or twice starting out. It always cracks me up how close people can become after a night of partying together, and while they may not remember all the events surrounding their escapades it's certain that they'll remember you.

    In things like that it's really more about selling yourself than being truly "good" at it.
     
  22. Striker22

    Striker22 New Member

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    This was from the other thread, and i thought this line was perfect

    "Consider meeting more people during classes and letting the numbers work for you, instead of against. "
     
  23. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    yea i know... i've been tryin harder.. and trying to talk to more people
     
  24. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    yea i'll look into... i been practicing like crazy

    and i joined my university's Jam Club.. so we just meet and learn or teach to play instruments
     
  25. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    shameless bump
     

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