SRS locking up around people

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by vierstein, Jan 12, 2005.

  1. vierstein

    vierstein New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2004
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    i used to think i was just shy or midly S.A.D., but i realised what specifically happens, i noticed it twice today,
    when someone says/does something unexpected my brain kinda locks up, i keep thinking i have to think of what to do quickly, which actually stops me doing so.
    i kinda freeze up, and look around as if expecting someone to help me, but i cant think rationally, and im kinda stuck there until the other person does something to change the situation.
    for example, i was at work today, and suddenly i see this girl i know, i met her through one of my friends, and we talk together on IM all the time, anyway she suddenly appears and says 'hey, thought we'd come to see you working' (she was with a friend, whom i didnt know)
    i was kinda stressed and pissed with work, and i was completely startled to see her (i've seen her maybe 3 times in real life), so I only managed a weak 'hey'
    then for maybe a minute nothing happened, till she said 'well, cya'


    so yeah i think i might try taking improv lessons or something, but i dunno how much they will help as i will sort of know whats going to happen, it wont be the same.

    if anyone could recommend something else, or help in any other way, id be very appreciative

    also, i want to apologize to her, next time i see her only i was wondering how i should go about it, should i explain the locking up thing or just say i was nervous, or stressed or something.

    (oh btw, im 16, if that makes any difference.)

    anyway thanks for reading, and thanks for any help
     
  2. BunnyFrank

    BunnyFrank Guest

    I'm kinda the opposite. I can think well on my feet, and I work best under pressure.
    But I am like you, in that I am a very "cold" person. Some may say i'm mean or angry like. I just never smile at people unless they make me laugh. :\

    I think they puts alotta people off, especially girls - they never come up and chat with me (unless they are really brave.. :noes: .)
     
  3. tigerlily

    tigerlily Spoiled brat.

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2003
    Messages:
    10,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    dallas
    I think trying the improv thing could help, maybe you just get a bit nervous sometimes. I always get really nervous when I know I have to speak in front of others, even if it is just two people and especially if I dont know them.

    You could just tell the girl you were stressed with work and it was making you pissed off, and tell her you are sorry you didnt talk more. Tell her to stop by some day again, that way you are kind of expecting it, and can prepare what you might say, and you wont freeze. Although dont plan everything out, as you dont want to sound like a robot :hs:

    Good luck to you :)
     
  4. vierstein

    vierstein New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2004
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah, i used to seem all cold aswell, so i try to think of somethig funny as often as possible so i smile more often, it works too.

    i do get really nervous, but it only happens sometimes, and sometimes i can be very relaxed and talkative, like a couple of days ago, at a birthday party i was the loudest person there.

    also, something i forgot to mention, i was in the middle of something, when she came, and i should have quickly finished it off (would have taken 5 seconds), and then talked to her, but i didnt, i waited till she was gone, which may have made her feel like she was intruding, not sure.

    anyway, thanks for all the help guys

    oh and i just remembered, my knees actually started shaking, when i saw her, it lasted for about 5-10 minutes, was that just extreme nervousness?
     
  5. ChaosTheory

    ChaosTheory New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    im kind of the same way, im pretty shy. when im in class and were not doing anything, i usually dont talk unless someone else that i know is talking to me. the only time i talk a lot is if im with people i know real well.

    im to nervous to talk to girls, the main reason is because when im nervous, even over the stupidest smallest thing, my face turns really red. if i have to talk in front of class or anything my face turns red. it sucks, and just makes me feel more nervous, and make me more nervous and depressed. i cant do anything that puts me on the spot where others can see me, if i hear someone laugh even if its not about something i did all i can think about is that their laughing at me, and i get depressed.
     
  6. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2002
    Messages:
    1,941
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iron City
    Don't say anything to this girl about this incident, you owe her no apology. Don't put this stuff under a microscope, or you'll end up looking like a geek. What you need to do is to learn how to handle situations where you get blind-sided. Each day presents new challenges and you must be prepared for them. (Think about how you would ideally like to respond when you have one of these close encounters. Think it through each day, as these encounters will come.) So when you see her, smile. (us introverts must remember to smile.) ask her a question, extroverts love to talk their ass off, so she will be glad with any question put to her. Introvers understand extroverts, they will never understand us. Take the test, I bet you score high on the introvert side. (Dang, this internet is crawling with us introverts. :) )

    http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

    http://www.humanmetrics.com/index.htm#intro
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2005
  7. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2002
    Messages:
    1,941
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iron City
    Steel eyes and not smiling will get you nowhere. The bad-ass persona is vane. (I'm capable of being the same way.) Girls smile by default, us guys need to smile more.
     
  8. BunnyFrank

    BunnyFrank Guest


    thats just not the type of person I am... :hs:
     
  9. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2002
    Messages:
    1,941
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iron City
    BunnyFrank, sorry. It wasn't my intention to be malicious.
     
  10. vierstein

    vierstein New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2004
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah i've done that MBTI test before and i scored 78 introvert. i just did it again, and even though i couldnt remember any of the questions and thought i was unsure about some, i got the same scores :eek3:

    i did actually apologise already, and she said it was cute how i seemed shy :eek3: didnt anticipate that, i guess thats a good thing though

    and well, i've always tried to smile, my parents would always comment on me never smiling so, i just started smiling as much as i could, reciting jokes in my head works well :)

    'nyway i know my problem and am working with it, i guess practise and experience is what i need now.

    thanks for the help
     

Share This Page