SRS Living with a paranoid schizophrenic

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bolo1313, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    A year ago my g/f's brother got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia after he shot up his own house because he thought someone was attacking his brother in the middle of the night. One bullet hit his brother in the foot and shattered the bones. Til this day, he's walking with a limp. Another bullet went through the bedroom door and hit the father in the calf but he's fully recovered.

    Anyhow, he ended up in a mental institution for a few weeks after a couple of months of jail. My g/f decided to take him in and the first couple of weeks were rough. i was sleeping with one eye open and any slight noise basically had my heart jumping. i wasn't really sure how "well" he was. every so often, he'd make a comment like, "there's someone in the closet watching us." i'd then have to physically get up and check to ensure there was no one there. he eventually got well enough to be able to sleep at his mom's (original shooting).

    flash forward to today. he's been staying with us for the last two days. the latest episode he said someone called him from an unknown number and fired gun shots as a threat to him (he was involved with drug dealers prior to his paranoia, he actually owes them 10 grand but the family has paid half of it). now the whole family is here to try to calm him down. keeps saying someone is in the backyard running around. i went out there to "check".

    i've been around him so long sometimes i even start to believe him. i find myself looking in the closet more than usual and think i hear a creak of the floor out of the blue. not sure how much more of this i can take. i know it's even harder on my g/f but damn, it's like taking care of a baby. the guy can't go anywhere alone without freaking out. he's 25 and can't sleep without someone in the same room.

    anyone live with a schizo before? were they "cured"? this guy is on about 5 meds and it doesn't seem to help.
     
  2. FredricaBimmel

    FredricaBimmel Great big fat person

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    The absolute best thing you can do is make sure he takes his meds every single day. That is the number one reason people fall back into the fog of schizophrenia.

    Is he seeing doctors regularly? Therapy can be good if its often and regular. Also, if one med isn't working he should try another. It takes a long time to find that right medication and dose.
     
  3. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    yea, he kept harping on the 5 k they still owe but the dealers gave the family a "payment plan" :hs: they have to have the rest of it by December.

    we don't have any guns in the house, but we definitely stashed away all the knives when he stays with us. he'll come charging in our room at 3 am just to tell my g/f to go sleep with him even though his mom/dad already are. i'm losing sleep left and right.

    the family doesn't have a history of mental illness but there's no doubt what triggered his paranoia. the guy had been through 3 drive bys by the time he was 18. his older brother was involved in gang and drugs. by the time he turned 21, he started doing drugs himself and dealing.

    i asked the mom did she notice any strange behavior prior to the shooting. she said he'd tell her someone's in the house but she'd always blow it. of course, his being mentally ill never crossed her mind. this went on for about 3 weeks until i guess he couldn't take it anymore.
     
  4. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    he's still seeing the doctor and therapy, not sure if it's regular though. probably needs to go more often. it's going to be even more difficult since the father's insurance decided they will not cover him anymore. doctors visits and meds are putting a serious drain on my g/f's finances. don't ask why the parents aren't paying for it. there's not enough bandwidth to cover the dysfunctionality of this family. the g/f's the only sane one.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Let the parents take care of the son, you and your gf escape. No doubt the drugs created changes in his head , its nothing you want in your life.
     
  6. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Meds are pretty much necessary for schizophrenia. I hope he's on an atypical antipsychotic so that he lessens the risk of extrapyramidal symptoms. He HAS to take it. Therapy is only useful to certain type of people with schizophrenia and he's still probably going to hallucinate since the hallucinations stem from an activation in the area involved in the hallucination (visual or auditory, usually it's auditory).

    Btw, no one gets cured from schizophrenia, it's a difficult disease for the family (and the person, of course). Maybe if you don't feel safe at night, put a lock on your door (and on HIS door, maybe you could explain that it's there so that you're all safer in your home instead of making him think you're against him).
     
  7. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    wow... i'm not exactly sure if there's anything else to say.

    i truly feel for you, and i'm honestly surprised you've stuck around. props to you. i can't say i'd do the same thing given a similar situation. how long have you and your gf been together? how old are you two?

    why was he able to leave the mental institution only after a few weeks? was it voluntary? i certainly wouldn't think that they'd let him out without correcting his medication and doses, but maybe they did.

    why is he being dropped from his parent's insurance? is it due to his age?

    medication and therapy are two necessities. while i understand that your gf wants to take care of him, this type of lifestyle will become a burden, and it'll eventually take its toll on her as well as you.
     
  8. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    What Darketernal said.

    I also wanted to add that living with a person with a severe mental disability is like taking care of a child. Mental disabilities can leave a person unable to be self-sufficient, which means that someone will have to take care of them.
     
  9. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    g/f and i are in our early 30s. he left the hospital b/c they felt he was well enough to go home. a week later, after finishing dinner he walked to his room and slowly walked back out claiming someone was in there. no matter how much i tried to reassure him, he freaked and admitted him to the hospital again. that was a year ago and he hasn't gone back since.

    right now he seems fine. but as the night comes along i'm sure there's gonna be an episode.

    as for the insurance, yes that's why they are dropping him. i dont' see what other choice my g/f has than to take care of him. I know a lot of homeless folks have schizo but i can't see my g/f letting that happen. i mean, how do you tell your baby brother sorry but you have to live on the streets because i can't take care of you anymore?:sad2:
     
  10. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :nono: i never said that she needs to stop taking care of him. i simply don't think she needs to be the sole caregiver.

    believe me, this issue happens a lot in life. parents, daughters, sons, brothers sisters, etc etc... are forced to decide whether or not they can continue caring for their loved one alone for basically every medical condition out there, including a mental illness. the burden does not have to be, nor should it be, 100% on your gf.

    he probably should be readmitted. does he know he has a mental illness?

    i'm not sure what the costs are for long term care for someone with mental illness. certainly i would do what i could to provide the best care but maintain my own sanity.

    i feel for you. i cared for my mother who recently died from terminal cancer. her last days of life were extremely hard. in some ways, God blessed me by relieving my stress, but He also blessed my mother for relieving her pain.
     
  11. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    I had a schizo friend. Paul. Wish we were still in touch.

    Can't imagine the stress. Constant. Well. Yes I can ... I have probs with paranoia & hallucinations but that stems from another type of disorder. It's just intermittent rather than all the time.

    If he's not too far away from reality to interact & follow conversation he could probably benefit from some positive dialogue. Read to him if you can. Be careful about subject matter. Find passages or poems online that are short & easy to pre-read to ensure it doesn't touch on specific words or scenarios that would disturb him further. You can't win every time but working to build a more positive mindset can be a group project and benefit you all.
     
  12. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    well, he lost it again tonight. we went to bed at 10:30. his mom was sleeping with him and my g/f and i were in the other room. about 11 he came calling for my g/f to sleep with him. every five minutes he kept telling her someone's in the corner. she then called me to investigate then asked me to sleep in the same room. still, he make a comment every five minutes. this went on for the next couple of hours. every 30 minutes he wanted us to check on the mom in the other room. finally, the mom came back to sleep with them while i left.

    20 minutes later my g/f couldn't take it anymore. she called the mental hospital and is currently on their way. work is gonna suck. don't know how much more i can take. seriously, i've heard him say these things so much i'm almost starting to believe him.
     
  13. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    ... vacation time?
     
  14. GFlem

    GFlem New Member

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    Um... all other questions aside for a second, why the fuck aren't you talking to police about this guy's extortion?

    You're dealing with a payment plan for drug dealers? fuck that, get them all arrested and go about your life.
     
  15. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    Sounds like a good way to get your house burned down.
     
  16. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    :rolleyes: grow up
     
  17. bolo1313

    bolo1313 Life down here is just a strange illusion OT Supporter

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    yea, let's go to the police and tell them to stop drug dealers from harrassing the family for money the son owes. that'll go over real well.:ugh:

    the guy is a certified paranoid schizo. his paranoia of someone being in the house trying to hurt him isn't real, but the shit he's in with the drug dealers is. you think they're just gonna roll over and say, "oh, you're not feeling well. ok, we'll let you slide and don't worry about the 10k"?
     
  18. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    Make sure this guy has no access to guns or knives.
     
  19. GFlem

    GFlem New Member

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    :bowdown: Contracting financially with drug dealers and enabling psychotic behavior is definitely the more mature route in this situation.

    :rofl: This guy needs to be in a mental hospital and you don't have to be a mental giant to know that wiring $10,000 to known drug dealers isn't an intelligent move when it comes to the authorities.

    That's ok, though, placating criminals with titanic sums of money is obviously more intelligent than involving authorities so that you don't get slammed for accessory to narcotics trafficking when one of them gets busted and they find a 10,000 cash transfer from the family. :rofl::rofl::rofl:




    EDIT - and I misunderstood the context of the situation. I thought it was the threadstarter's brother, not her brother. If my brother was calling my girlfriend in to sleep in his bed I would have issues with it. Post deleted.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
  20. GFlem

    GFlem New Member

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    I'm glad your girlfriend made the right decision for the family before someone got hurt or killed.
     
  21. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    Transferring money isn't illegal. The illegal transaction already took place. Cash doesn't leave a paper trail. A debt is a debt, and drug dealers aren't very likely to follow the laws that bind legitimate debt collectors. People have been killed for less.
     

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