living situation/holding back on dating girls. advice?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel kinda embarrased with my current living situation that is affecting my dating life. Im 25 years old and in my last year of college. I own a small business and work part time for another company. The reason i live at home is because im trying to save money to get a house. I live in Pa where the houses are cheap and i always hated renting because i think that is a waste of money. I feel this is affecting my dating life because of my age. I feel embarrassed to ask girls on a date, because they will think im immature and not responsible since i live home with my parents. Any suggestions on this? I know i can change it by renting and getting out, but in general is this a big turn off to woman is the real question? It doesnt bother me especially since my parents house is way above average in size, so i do have my own space and privacy.
     
  2. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    The problem you have is your own mental image of the situation. Yes, it can be a problem *if* you're the kind of guy I know who has a shitty job, drives a POS car, and simply cannot AFFORD to move out.

    You own a business AND work another job AND are saving for a house? You're what most women would call a "catch" if you'd ditch the pity routine. ;)
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dude, if you tell girls that, they will be fine with it. You're not being a bum or lazy or anything like that...you're just taking the time to get your financial affairs in order so that you can be independent.

    It's the same if you tell a girl "I just started a new job and am saving up to move out".

    Both sound way better than "I live at home because I'm too lazy to move out".

    You're fine.
     
  4. audrey

    audrey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Down Under
    Does your mother doing all your cooking and cleaning?? Does she wash and iron your clothes? To me that's a turn off. Major turn off.

    But if you're living independently in your parents house, that's a different story.

     
  5. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    no my mom is very busy as well especially with her own organizations she runs and whatever else she is doing to do any work around the house. Im not really home that often just to sleep that is about it and do college work. I do everything myself, their just providing the shelter. I do shit like buy food 2 times a week, take the garbage to the garbage center or what not. My mom has a maid who do the cleaning and stuff so that is taken care of. I offered money,but they wont take it so i buy the food instead.

    I didnt realize it like you guys are saying, it doesnt sound to bad I guess. I just remember my friends used to joke about it, maybe cause they moved out but they never had any money and worked some shit jobs for 8 bucks an hour like 60 hours a week to pay the rent. They always held it over my held and told me i was to old to live at home, but i felt guilty actually saying i make more than you do in 2 days of work than you make it a week. Thanks for the replies, kinda made me a bit happeier and motivated to meet some girls. It seems like many of them ask pretty quickly where you live and that felt awkward to me.
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dude...your in uni, saving for a house, own a business, work...and youre worried girls will think your irresponsible?

    I don't think you'll have any problems.

    Shit im tempted to drive to PA myself :hs:
     
  7. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah where i live though it is developing fast. About 30 mintues from north jersey a wealthy area and about 2 hours from NYC. People are buying huge houses and escalades and all types of shit thne commuting, but they feel the toll of the long hours. SO the prices are going up, but i mean for 80k you can have a house that is nice. For 200k you can have a nice development home that is very large,but you cant make money around where i live.
     
  8. Drilldo

    Drilldo Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    24,733
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't worry about it dude. You've got stuff cooking, you're in school, you're saving for a home. If a woman you're dating can't understand putting off things you want for greater things down the road, she's not for you.
     
  9. audrey

    audrey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Down Under
    You should be proud you're working towards something. Girls should and will respect that ;)
     
  10. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2000
    Messages:
    21,936
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maine
    sounds like your biggest problem isn't your situation, but your opinion of it.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Without knowing you and your background I honestly would be turned off to date a 25 year old who lives with his parents; it just seems wrong to me :dunno: Even though I get the whole saving money thing (it's my monthly worry, getting through on my own). I think after knowing you own a small business and can afford a place just seems like a turn off, especially since I know younger people who have shit jobs and can afford an apartment at least. It's almost like seeing you as mooching off your parents at their nice place.
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    :ugh: You know, I had a fairly good opinion of you. But after reading that? :OP:

    Are you saying you'd rather see someone living on their own for the sake of being on their own, and be damned the idea of wanting to live a nicer lifestyle down the road? I don't get that logic.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I'm high and tired, lol, I don;'t evenb know if my last post made sense. All I meant to say is that first off, if I just met a guy and knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was 25, and worked two jobs but lived at home....I'm probably think "wtf, grow up." But like I said, it's very easy when you don't actually know a person to judge those kinds of things right off the bat.

    I get the whole saving money thing. I've been on my own for about 7-8 months now, but before I had lived with my parents saving money-I was 20/21. But at the same time, even though it's honestly fine what he's doing there is still part of me that couldn't help thinking "why the fuck doesn't he live on his own." He already said he has the money and has even made it sound by his post that he feels he should be out of there too....just isn't making the necessary steps, which makes him sounds kind of immature and lazy.

    PS-quamen, I like you a lot, don't think I'm direspecting you please.
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    :werd:

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: I know a guy who lives in a van in the wal-mart parking lot and has women come and have sex with him there.

    He is happy with his lifestyle, and because he is happy, she is happy. That's all there is to it.
     
  15. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0

    actually i can care less about who my mom is to people and what kind of home she has. Im not banking off anyone elses house. When a girl ever pushed the issue of coming home with me i was actually upset because i didnt want to bring a girl to my house because i didnt want her to get the wrong idea. Im some type of spoiled kid or whatever. These are my adopted parents anyways, my aunt and my uncle. I never asked for money from them and i had my first job since i was 11. I never mooched off anyone in my life and my first car was worth 500 bucks. I live a pratical lifestyle and im not a showoff. Yeah i can afford a bmw or whatever, but i drive a very basis car. Im more about saving my money to have a lower morgage on my home and a more less stressful life. I do plan on purchasing by next year cause ill be done with school by then. I take no offense to your reply, but I am very proud of my parents and never use them or their material possessions as a sign of status or im better than any of you.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    Great post.

    Always be aware that many women will take their cues from you. If you are insecure about your living situation and lifestyle, she will pick up on this.

    But if you are proud then she will pick up on that too.

    The real trick is to not explain why you are doing all this (to her). You are doing it because its whats best for you, and its perfectly normal. You don't have to try to live up to others' expectations. The right girl will be interested in you and your lifestyle, and won't try to mold it to her liking.

    I've always had a bit of a "you're either for me or against me" attitude, and its getting much more pronounced lately. Never compromise who you are for a woman. I've done it in the past, and it sucks.

    She's either on your team or she's not. If she's on your team, there is no reason to reassure that your team is the one to be on.
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    in additon to what everyone is saying, which i agree with about you having to frame it right and think about it positively in your own head, I would suggest to you that you just stick to younger girls.

    the 21-22 crowd will be much less critical of you living at home then 25+ people.
     
  18. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2002
    Messages:
    5,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Great White North
    Maybe some girl will think it's immature for you to live at your parent's house, but some other girls will think it's awesome to find a guy that can wait a little bit so that he can reach his goals. It's called "postponing gratification" ie : accepting to be in a situation that's not perfect right now so that you can get more later. It shows patience, that you have goals and that you take steps to reach them.

    you can either feel bad by saying that you live home to the wrong person or feel proud by saying the same thing to someone that understands. you can try to impress some girl but you also can find a girl that's already impressed by you.
     
  19. gabacho numero uno

    gabacho numero uno New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2004
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    behind that fence over there
    WTF? People in another thread were telling me that stuff isn't a big deal. :o
     
  20. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    is it any different than having your folks pay your rent/carinsurance/food/tutition/etc?

    even at 24, only two of my peers are truly emancipated financially. most seem to just live remotely and call it independence.

    living at home isnt always the easier choice.

    as said, it's not a problem unless you see it as one.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Yeah, that's why I was surprised because he makes it sound like he feels so insecure about it. I was just using my post as the way I think a lot of women would see it (his situation) right off the bat. Once they got to know him, that is if they gave him a chance, they'd realize he truly is a smart guy with a good head on his shoulders
     
  22. gabacho numero uno

    gabacho numero uno New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2004
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    behind that fence over there
    So is PocoDiablo right? Their comment seemed to contradict what people were telling me in my thread...
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Well in this thread there is a 25 year old guy who drives a car (a modest one even though he has money), lives at home, but is finishing school, has his own business, and even works at another one.

    From what we got from your thread you are a 19 year old kid who is a college dropout, doesn't have a car, and lives with his parents and doesn't seem to be trying to better his situation....so thhat's probably why you aren't getting any sympathy; especially since your thread topic was also about you having sex with a hooker.
     
  24. gabacho numero uno

    gabacho numero uno New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2004
    Messages:
    10,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    behind that fence over there
    You fucking bitch. FUCK you. :madfawk:

    I was reffering to how Yail Bloor and those other guys were telling me it doesn't matter if you don't have a car, make very little money etc. that you can still get laid. What PocoDiablo was saying seemed to contradict them. Jesus christ, talk about being MEAN.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I was just stating the facts man. As I said to the OP, most women's first reaction to any guy that still lives with his parents is a turn off; but if they get to know them and truly figure out their situation that idea can change. What Yail and some of the others have been pointing out however is that if you have the exude confidence and a positive attitude about your situation you certainly have a better chance at scoring girls.
     

Share This Page