All of us have had an extremely embarrasing sexual moment in life.....I certainly have. So, I'll share mine with you in hopes you do the same.... This one happened a few years ago when I was somewhat younger and more foolish. I was in El Paso on business, staying at a hotel on the North side. A friend of mine had given me the number of a young “Lady Friend” who lived in the Central portion of town. I called her to see if we could hook up. She was certainly available, but had no car at the time, and could I come and get her? If I did, she said she would certainly make it "worth my while". Well, I was in the car in no time, drove to where she lived and picked her up. On the way back to my hotel she started rubbing El Greco, who immediately stood at attention. Well, remembering what it was like to be in High School, and not wanting the moment to drag on too long, I found a dirt road to turn off on so we could be in a little more private surrounding. She commenced to give me the best BJ I ever had in the back seat of a car. After the bell, we both zipped up; got back in the front seat and I started to back out of where I was. In doing so, and not noticing the drainage ditch on the passenger's side of the vehicle, I managed to back the right rear wheel into the drainage ditch. The car was then resting on the right front and left rear wheels, and the left front wheel was cantilevered upward at about a 30 degree angle. The car was literally delicately balanced, and any movement would have slid it into the drainage ditch. Not a good position to be in. So, here we are, stuck in the air and cannot do anything but wait and see who might come along to help (this was before the days of cell phones). About an hour later, here come some headlights. A 2-1/2 ton truck (that’s a deuce and a half to my veteran buddies) comes rolling up and was filled with about 20 young GI’s. It seems as though I had wandered onto FortBliss and these guys were in the midst of changing the guard. Well, they all get out, grab a hold of the vehicle and pushed it safely back onto the road. I got out of the car to thank them, and started talking to the Sergeant in command of this small brigade. Thinking I was once a GI myself, I would simply tell him the truth; he would be impressed and let us go without further incident. Wrong …. I was immediately handcuffed by the Sergeant and placed under “temporary” arrest. It seems as though I had wandered into a restricted zone, and the Sergeant really didn’t care about my situation because he came from a good Baptist family. In short, I was f*#@*d. The Sergeant placed me and my lady friend in the back of the Deuce and a half and hauled us back to his CO (Commanding Officer), but not before changing out all the guards, which took about an hour to do. We got back to the barracks, he hauls us into the Day Room where there are about 40 of the horniest GI’s you could ever find sitting around watching TV. As soon as my "Lady Friend" walks in, the place erupts into total chaos. Oh, I forgot to tell you, she is dressed in a sheer halter top and very tight hot pants. She makes a lot of friends very quickly, while I, on the other hand, are the butt of the jokes from the GI’s. About two hours pass and the CO finally arrives. The Sergeant talks to him and asks what is it he should do with me? The CO calls me in, I explain my entire story to him, and he starts laughing so hard he spits coffee up all over his shirt. Fortunately, this guy understands the basic principles of life. He lets me go. The Sergeant puts us back into the Deuce and a half and hauls us back out to where the car is. We get into the car, get out of there and head back to my hotel. By this time, my “Lady Friend” is not too happy with me, and the humor of the evening has definitely worn off. She asks if I don’t mind taking her back home. RATS. So, I take her home and I make a contribution to her “College Tuition”, after all this really wasn’t her fault, and I head back to my hotel. At least I received a very nice BJ. It could have been worse, but I can’t imagine how.