Life's Most Embarrasing Sexual Moments

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Daddy O, Nov 24, 2005.

  1. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    All of us have had an extremely embarrasing sexual moment in life.....I certainly have. So, I'll share mine with you in hopes you do the same....

    This one happened a few years ago when I was somewhat younger and more foolish. I was in El Paso on business, staying at a hotel on the North side. A friend of mine had given me the number of a young “Lady Friend” who lived in the Central portion of town. I called her to see if we could hook up. She was certainly available, but had no car at the time, and could I come and get her? If I did, she said she would certainly make it "worth my while". Well, I was in the car in no time, drove to where she lived and picked her up.

    On the way back to my hotel she started rubbing El Greco, who immediately stood at attention. Well, remembering what it was like to be in High School, and not wanting the moment to drag on too long, I found a dirt road to turn off on so we could be in a little more private surrounding. She commenced to give me the best BJ I ever had in the back seat of a car. After the bell, we both zipped up; got back in the front seat and I started to back out of where I was. In doing so, and not noticing the drainage ditch on the passenger's side of the vehicle, I managed to back the right rear wheel into the drainage ditch. The car was then resting on the right front and left rear wheels, and the left front wheel was cantilevered upward at about a 30 degree angle. The car was literally delicately balanced, and any movement would have slid it into the drainage ditch. Not a good position to be in.

    So, here we are, stuck in the air and cannot do anything but wait and see who might come along to help (this was before the days of cell phones). About an hour later, here come some headlights. A 2-1/2 ton truck (that’s a deuce and a half to my veteran buddies) comes rolling up and was filled with about 20 young GI’s. It seems as though I had wandered onto
    FortBliss
    and these guys were in the midst of changing the guard. Well, they all get out, grab a hold of the vehicle and pushed it safely back onto the road. I got out of the car to thank them, and started talking to the Sergeant in command of this small brigade. Thinking I was once a GI myself, I would simply tell him the truth; he would be impressed and let us go without further incident. Wrong …. I was immediately handcuffed by the Sergeant and placed under “temporary” arrest. It seems as though I had wandered into a restricted zone, and the Sergeant really didn’t care about my situation because he came from a good Baptist family. In short, I was f*#@*d. The Sergeant placed me and my lady friend in the back of the Deuce and a half and hauled us back to his CO (Commanding Officer), but not before changing out all the guards, which took about an hour to do.

    We got back to the barracks, he hauls us into the Day Room where there are about 40 of the horniest GI’s you could ever find sitting around watching TV. As soon as my "Lady Friend" walks in, the place erupts into total chaos. Oh, I forgot to tell you, she is dressed in a sheer halter top and very tight hot pants. She makes a lot of friends very quickly, while I, on the other hand, are the butt of the jokes from the GI’s.

    About two hours pass and the CO finally arrives. The Sergeant talks to him and asks what is it he should do with me? The CO calls me in, I explain my entire story to him, and he starts laughing so hard he spits coffee up all over his shirt. Fortunately, this guy understands the basic principles of life. He lets me go. The Sergeant puts us back into the Deuce and a half and hauls us back out to where the car is. We get into the car, get out of there and head back to my hotel. By this time, my “Lady Friend” is not too happy with me, and the humor of the evening has definitely worn off. She asks if I don’t mind taking her back home. RATS. So, I take her home and I make a contribution to her “College Tuition”, after all this really wasn’t her fault, and I head back to my hotel.

    At least I received a very nice BJ. It could have been worse, but I can’t imagine how.
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2005
  2. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    :rofl:, at least you made it out of there w/o much trouble, i assume you were not in the service at the time

    sorry no stories here, i guess i need to participate in extra curricular activites to have stories int he first place lol, i just like coming in here to read the stories, no bashing/stupid comments is nice
     
  3. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2004
    Messages:
    13,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    PINKBOW
    haha nice! i havent really had anything too embarrasing other then queefing.. :\
     
  4. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    OK Tigerlilly's love slut..........What's Queefing? Old farts want to know.

    Bigman - yes, I had already been in and out of the Army by the time of this event, however, the Seargent of the Guard was not impressed that I had served two TDY's in Vietnam with 101st. Maybe it was because I called him a Pussy at one point in our conversation.....go figure......sometimes these guys develop such ego's.

    Come on people, am I the only guy who ever got caugt with his, er.......Johnson hanging out? Surely the little head has taken over from the big head on each of us at one time or another.....spill it.
     
  5. Ninjarider

    Ninjarider New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    72
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CA
    Nothing major but a buddy of mine called to say he was coming over to introduce us to his new girlfriend right after they went to lunch. My gf (now wife) and I thought we had plenty of time and decided to get naked and have a little fun. Looks like we took longer than planned cause she saw me for the first time with my ass in the air pounding away... Was a great way to meet someone for the first time.
     
  6. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    That would certainly break the ice...lol. So, did you ask them to join you? Now that would have made an extremely memorable moment in your life.
     
  7. xela

    xela So say we all!

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2004
    Messages:
    28,676
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    I don't think this is freaky material. I'm moving it to the vag.
     
  8. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Armadillo World Headquarters
    Thanks Xela - I am still a little new here and learning the in's and out's (no pun intended) of each of the forums....but if someone were to post about his experience with "Jumper Cables, Motor Oil and an Evening in a Nuevo Laredo Brothel", I assume that might then be Freaky?? Just kidding.....Never use Jumper Cables, they can leave scars for the rest of your life...not to mention very sore nipples.
     
  9. theaznfunk

    theaznfunk B-boy fanatic

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2004
    Messages:
    670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Once I was licking out my gf on a staircase and the super of the building saw us. You should've seen his face... it was like :eek3: and all he could say was, "Oh." We just got dressed and got the hell outta there fast! lol
     
  10. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a date with my ex in a motel room. We both went there to just fuck. For whatever reason, that particualr time I could just not get it up. We made out and shit, and the soldier just did not want to salute.

    Knowing that soon she would start feeling me up, I panicked. I started coughing like crazy and said I had to go to the bathroom cuz I may have to throw up. I went in and gave the soldier a pep talk for about 5 minutes, then we came out to finish the job.

    Two mutual friends of my and my then GF walked in while I was fucking my GF's sister.

    1st time I had sex, I kept slipping out. To play it off, everytime I slipped out. I would eat her out to make it seem like it was all part of the routine.
     
  11. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was pounding away from on top and i just came inside her then i heard a tap tap tap "ALISON !!" i was like:roflwtf:. I turned around saw someone peering thru the glass. I thought it was one of her friends and laughed.
    Then she says "Oh shit, its my mum!! "
    Meanwhile she stands up and cum is leaking out of inside her.
    Quickly gets dressed and i get to meet her mum for the first time. And her mum had one of her friends with her
     
  12. moomoo3210

    moomoo3210 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2004
    Messages:
    1,420
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    :rofl: :rofl:
     
  13. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flori-duh
    And you got it...Queefing is pussy farts
     

Share This Page