As some might or probably won't recall, I have issues with girls who drink, club, etc. Unfortunately, this was a large part of my gf's life before me. We had some problems some time ago when she went out and got drunk. She absolutely refuses to give up drinking, she makes it seems like alcohol is more important to her than me. I personally see it as being as bad as any other drug. Anyway, now she is pregnant with my first kid (she already has two from her ex-husband). So I'm probably even more paranoid than ever now. But two Fridays ago she went out to a club again, and what's worse, she was manipulative/deceitful about it so I wouldn't know she was going until she'd already been there a while. I already hated enough that she put herself in that kind of environment (especially when pregnant with my kid), but her attempt to "trick" me about it just pissed me off more. When she came home after 1am, we had a bad fight. She hadn't been drinking fortunately, and was highly offended that I thought it was even a possibility (due to being preg). Some things ended up being said throughout the fight, like me bringing up how much I still think of her as a whore from her lifestyle before me, and worse, I mentioned something about IF she had come home drunk again, we would be over and I'd want her to get an abortion or at least not stick me with child support. Not that I would expect it to actually happen, just that I would no longer, under any circumstances, want to have a baby with her if that happened. It was supposed to be profound. This is my first kid, and I was even starting to get concerned that I wasn't "able". This kid means the world to me, and for me to even suggest such thing was supposed to illustrate how much I wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore (if she had been drinking). I want a kid bad, but not if it's going to be brought into such a horrible situation. I know I crossed the line. I said some "unkind" things that went too far, and I've apologized. That night, we supposedly resolved things and made up for the most part. The whole week goes by and things seem fairly normal for the most part. Until this last Friday.That morning, it was clear that she was acting differently towards me. I mentioned it and the brought up what had been said again. This time it wasn't so much a fight, but her getting some things off her chest. This was worse than the fight. In the original fight, during make-up, she had mentioned that she had cold feet about getting married. I said I understand and that's ok. We'll give it more time, etc. But this time, she said she didn't want to get married ..period. No cold feet. It's not even up for consideration now. And then she said she didn't love me anymore. My heart just about stopped. Here I am, living with her in a new apartment that we just got together a few weeks ago, with our baby on the way. And this person that I've committed to building a life and family with said she doesn't love me anymore. I now live in a loveless home, sleeping in a loveless bed. The next morning, on Saturday, she was actually feeling better now that she got some stuff off her chest. I was feeling worse though. We ended up having some pretty decent sex, then went to the store together. Pretty much spent the day together until she went to work in the evening. We had gone through some very unpleasant things, but now seemed to be making up and getting back on track. But since then, ..it's been feeling like last Friday again. She has been distant and clearly not wanting to exchange any affection with me. This is really starting to depress me, and I think I'm starting to take it out on her kids. It seems like, the less loving she is towards me, the less patience I have with the kids. I've been more quick to snap at them over stuff. I don't know if the kids have noticed anything different between "mommy and daddy", but at this rate it's only a matter of time before they do. And what about our kid on the way. Will he be born into a loveless home with a mom who doesn't seem to want much of anything to do with dad? I will not leave her. Lease issues aside, I will not have my kid end up like the current ones ..being raised by someone other than their own dad. I want us to have a nice, happy, family. I want my kid to be brought into this nice happy family, not a broken home. I don't want my kid being raised by a new daddy. Of course, it's equally likely that (imo) that my would return to her old ways and my kid would just grow up seeing an endless series of random guys hooking up with her. She would probably start drinking more again and going to clubs more. She never had any trouble getting guys to fuck her before, and I'm sure that wouldn't have changed. I can't stand the thought of my kid being raised in either scenario. The ONLY acceptable scenario is with me around as daddy. Us breaking up isn't an option as far as I'm concerned ..not now that there will be a kid between us. I'm hoping that she will get over this and we can be a happy family again. But how things are now isn't going to work. I'm miserable, and she must be too. We need to get past this for the sake of ..everything. I don't know what to do, except keep trying to act like everything is normal, take the kids to school in the morning, the usual routine. But things aren't normal. She never says "I love you" anymore, regardless of if I say it. She is not affectionate towards me anymore. When she comes home from work and joins me in bed, she doesn't try to feel-me-up anymore, or cuddle, or kiss, or touch me at all really. When I try to show any affection or intimacy towards he, she is either neutral or notably unreceptive. I don't know how much longer I can do this. She is pregnant right now so her hormones are all screwy anyway, probably fueling this thing more than it otherwise would be. All I can think to do is try to wait it out. I've vowed to be more respectful towards her from now on, as I've recognized that, though I'm not physically abusive, I have been known to be pretty hurtful verbally when my buttons get pushed. I don't want to lose my family. I can't let that happen. I know I need to try not to turn into such an asshole when she makes me mad, and even to not let myself get so upset over certain things in the first place. I know I crossed the line and that I can't afford to let it happen again, if it's not already too late. I don't know what more I can do. I don't know how coherent all this is, or what I expect anyone to say, but thanks for reading if you did. I need to talk to somebody about this, and I haven't had much luck with talking to her apparently. I'm wondering if I should bring it up to her again in the near future or ..what? Should I just stop caring and distance myself from her too? That seems counterproductive to me. But I don't know how much emotional energy I have left to keep trying to redeem myself to her when she just doesn't seem to care anymore.