SRS Life decisions

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ricey McRicerton, Apr 13, 2006.

  1. Ricey McRicerton

    Ricey McRicerton New Member

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    This is something I've struggled to understand for years, so I'm asking for other opinions on it.

    I have a cousin who is 33 years old. She came from a very poor household. She moved in with my parents at 19 years old and was given every chance to make a better life for herself. She didn't have the good sense to finish up cosmetology school or to go to any other kind of school. At 21 she decided to join the air force. She was discharged in like 6 months due to a knee problem. Very slender woman, very pretty, could have gotten any man she wanted. Instead of doing that she went off to Okalhoma and married a childhood crush of hers who promised her the world. She had lived with him for less than 6 months before they got married. He turned out to be an alcoholic drug abuser, but instead of packing it up and moving back, she stuck it out. She put on almost 150 lbs and they ended up having a child a few years later. Now she's 33. She has an 8 year old child, is a single mother, and has finally finished up school. She moved back up here 2 years ago and lived with my parents until she could find a job and place to live.

    Everyone is singing her praises for going to school, finding a decent job (she still makes little enough that she lives in a government subsidized apartment) and trying to get her stuff back together.

    Nobody has a single word to say about me or my brother. We've graduated at the top of our classes, I'm about to finish college (at 21), I've been working full time since I was 19 living on my own and handling all of my own crap without falling into the problems she seemed to put herself in.

    Why do those people who have messed up so badly in life end up getting accolades for finally pulling their heads out of their asses and doing what everybody else does?
     
  2. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Because attention whores know how to play the game.
     
  3. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    Keep in mind that any progress in a life that included some bad decisions is still progress. She might not make as much as you or make what you consider "decent" but she is working and trying to take care of her child. She is making decisions to get her life back together and she should receive accolades for not making any decisions that would derail her from the goal of getting back on her feet.

    YOu and your brother should be commended for what you have acccomplished. I find it hard to believe that you received no praise or recognition for your good works, either from parents, friends, from the job, or from school. However, you have been rewarded with what you deserve and have worked hard for. Your cousin has placed herself in the situations she has placed herself in, but now you see she is starting to make more wise decisions, or that seems to be the case.

    You may think you are immune from falling on hard times and making bad decisions that can throw you off the path to success, but think again. Everyone makes mistakes. Why not give your cousin encouragement instead of looking down on what she has managed to accomplish? She finally finished school which is WONDERFUL. some people give up and do not finish school after having a child but your cousin did. She is a single mom, but she is being a mom instead of putting the child off. She lives in government subsidized housing. So what? She is living somewhere and providing for herself and her child. Why not sing her praises if she isn't doing the exact opposite and fucking up her life?
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Sounds a bit like the 'lost son' story from the bible :dunno:

    28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

    31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

    It seems you are like 'the angry brother' in here, and she is is the lost sheep :mamoru:
     
  5. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I completely agree.

    If your sister is to pick up her life again, the encouragement is gonna be needed. Don't look down on her. You've been rewarded by your good work, and now she's putting her life together. Be happy for her.
     
  6. Ricey McRicerton

    Ricey McRicerton New Member

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    It's my cousin, and I'm happy that she's getting her things in order finally. I sold off my truck and let her finance a car through me to help get her out of a 15 year old Geo Metro with almost 300k on it. I'm more than willing to help her, and yes, I'm proud of her, but I don't see why she recieves so much praise for things that the rest of the people I see around me did 10 years prior.
     
  7. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    It's probably just human nature

    Your cousin is being recognized for having made bad decisions and is being encouraged now because she's working hard to fix them. That bible story was exactly the point here....your cousin may have been the black sheep. She's being noticed now not necessarily becasue of her come-back, but because she was lost and now she's found.

    You and your brother have already proven the point that you are responsible adults who have a track record of making good decisions already.

    I would think it's better praise not to be noticed because you were lost, but to be quietly *unnoticed* because you're already on the right track.
     

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