LGBT let's talk bisexuals

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by pulp priest, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    started this as a post in random thoughts thread but it got long so i decided to start a convo about bisexuals (not bisexuality per se but the conduct of bisexual people). basically let's talk about our experiences with bisexuals or as bisexuals.

    in my experience, a lot of "bi" guys use the term bi as a cop-out card.
    that is, they call themselves bi or an occasional bi so that once he gets bored of me or of the sex, he can just say "oh yah, i was just confused, i'm actually into women". that's happened to me twice, and it's made me extremely distrustful of bi guys. i know that bisexuality exists in many people but it seems like quite a few gay or even straight guys will call themselves bi because they're too much of a pussy to just come clean with their actual feelings.
    also, i think a lot of people use bisexuality as an excuse to not have to be monogamous.
    2 examples - i dated one frat boy who was straight, except for occasionally wanting a cock in his ass (yah, weird, i know). he said he was confused, didn't know if he was straight bi or gay, but after we'd hooked up a few times i told him i needed a bit more of a commitment, i wanted to be a one-man kinda guy, and i want someone who isn't afraid to be gay in public. he said he couldn't come out while he was still in college because the frat would eat him alive, which i understood, but that didn't change the fact that i feel i'm too old and too gay to date someone in the closet - hiding my homosexuality is something i will not ever do again. but then he slammed this on me - he said he was confused about his sexuality but all he knew was that he was totally into me, he thought i was gorgeous, he thought he may love me, he only wanted to have sex with me and no one else. which came out of nowhere and floored me - i am a total sucker for people who show me that much affection (god bless emotionally abusive fathers!). so i told him i'd give him a chance, call me and take me out (previously he basically only called me to go to a party (rarely) or he'd call around or after midnight and say let's fuck), it can be somewhere outside of westwood so that no students will see, and let's see where the relationship goes. then we fucked. our relationship basically stayed the same, and i realize now that everything he said he said just to get back into my pants, a tactic he used several times thereafter. but the LAST straw (see, i do actually have a point) was when he picked me up once, i said how are you doing, how was your weekend, and he said he got drunk and fucked some sorority girl. i was like WTF, you told me you only wanted to hook up with ME, which was basically the only reason i let you stay in my life! and he goes, oh, i didn't mean girls, i meant you're the only GUY i want to hook up with. buulllllllshiiiiiiiiit. :ugh2:
    example number 2:
    a good friend of mine started dating this really "modernized" girl who believed everyone is bisexual, just doesn't know it yet, so my buddy's myspace suddenly said he was bi. he comes over one day, we sit there doing coke and playing video games, and he starts talking about his cock and how it's so big that it hurts his girl, and that's why he doesn't wear condoms and she recently had an abortion. :)ugh2:dipshit) anyway, we're both coked up so i tell him to show me his cock, he does, i want to see it harder so i "help" him and start blowing him, we 69, good times. when we're done, i say, boy you better never tell your gf about this, and he says "oh, she won't care, it doesn't count when it's the same sex, she has sex with girls all the time". :)ugh2:again)this is about the dumbest thing i've ever heard, but then again his recent track record has shown him to be about the dumbest guy i've ever met.

    cliffs: in my experience lots of men call themselves bisexuals as a cop out, either to have more sex than conventional courtesy allows, or to prevent them from having to be honest with themselves or their partners.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2007
  2. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    yeah, a lot of guys do use it as an excuse but, as a bisexual myself, whichever I desire can change from time to time.

    I dated women for a long time because my desire for them was strong enough to keep me living a "straight" lifestyle, but after a while that changed. I came out and started seeing men. It's been almost a year since I was with a woman last, but only in the last month (or so) have I even eyed one on the street.

    At this point I would have sex with a girl, if I fancied her and the opportunity was there, but I wouldn't date or start a relationship. That is, however, exactly how I felt about men just a few years ago. Could it change back? I wouldn't rule it out, but I'm very happy where I am now.
     
  3. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    theres a lot of bi-phobia out there and for good reason - as you have pointed out pp.

    The phobia is really shitty for those guys who are open and true to themselves and others. Its those who use the "bi" title as a "title" and not a representation of their lifestyle. I too am so VERY leery of "bisexual" guys. I dont fear, and I TRY not to judge immediately, but way too often guys have to use it as an excuse. Somehow, some guys think that others dont think "bi" is as "bad" (socially) as "gay", like you said PP, they can just say - ohhh, that was a joke or ohhhh - i dont really like guys, that was just a weird thing... now they can get out of the relationship.

    In the end - I think it is a minority who makes the bisexual community look bad in the eye of most gay men. those who are actually bisexual are usually open about it (novo) and arent afraid to get what they want when they want. the fakes just fuck with people. (the sad thing is, its not as easy as just saying - okay, i wont act lke that anymore and I wont hurt others anymore. all of this crap is deeply routed in our psyches and social habits/patterns.)
     
  4. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    My .02

    I have a hard time calling myself bi because as a general rule, I love teh cawk. I do have a GF and I really enjoy the sex with her. It is just such a different emotional/physical experience. Sometimes I think if both of our husbands died, we could probably make a happy life together (with a sexy young boy-toy) but it isn't something I strongly desire.

    Yes, sometimes I will see a girl at the mall or store and wonder what it would be like to sex her but on the whole Angelina is the only other woman I really want :mamoru: (although some of my FS sisters are pretty darn :drool:)

    Maybe omnisexual is a better word in my case :dunno:
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2007
  5. PurpleSplat

    PurpleSplat Guest

    This is pretty much what prompted my whole "why do we have to give it a lable" thread.

    I know someone who wants and enjoys the companionship of women, wants to get married and have a family and loves sex with women, but also likes to have sex with men. He doesn't want a relationship with men at all. He's openly admitted that he likes to fuck both genders and from the men that I've met that he's been banging, they've said that he's always been completely honest. It's just sexual.

    There's a difference in sexual behaviour btwn a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple. From what he told me. He said that he loves the sensualness he has with a woman, their bodies, how they taste and everything about them... but also loves the hardcore rock and tumble of cocks and cum spewing all over the place and getting each other off.

    He doesn't classify himself as straight, bi or gay. He says he's just the way he is.

    On a side note, an "occassional bi" is like saying you're an occassional drinker. :o Or... Social Gay, if you will. :mamoru:
     
  6. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    i only get into relationships for long term
    i dont think that is possible with a bi guy in my opinion
    i might be wrong, but from what i have seen, its just them leaving themselves an easy out
    no one has an easy out with me lol, that puts a gigantic restrictor plate right on our relationship before we even start
    if i know that eventually my boyfriend will need the emotional/physical company of a girl then i know that it will not work forever
    if it isnt going to work forever why bother starting it?
    I dont hate on bi guys, i actually am happy for them, i just wont date them
     
  7. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    this is almost totally in line with my opinion.
    i can't hate on bi guys since stereotypes are always stupid, but i can't bring myself to trust them anymore, at least not enough to invest anything emotionally in them.
     
  8. the13thzen

    the13thzen New Member

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    i've gotten head from two straight/bi/ihavenofuckingclue guys. they both have girlfriends now. don't really get it. they never mentioned doing anything else with any other guy.
     
  9. GND

    GND BBP! OT Supporter

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    the "bi for show" types is a shitty thing.

    I personally don't like labels and I just like who I like regardless of the gender. Oh well I really like this person.. Ooh well they happen to be female or male or whatever.

    But there are true bi's out there. I happen to be one of them (since we're using labels) and I'm currently in a hetero relationship and he's well aware that I like women. To him it's like "ooh 3some" which I'm not totally ruling out, and I do get urges, but I'd want her for myself and not sure I'd want to share right off the bat. :mamoru:

    Am I greedy.. hell yeah at times I feel I am, but I can love both sexes.

    Plus there are actually different levels of bisexuality.
     
  10. aLwZjIttERy

    aLwZjIttERy Per vicis adveho verum...

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    my roommate wants to hook me with with her bi coworker... hes cute, but I take it that I should steer clear..... I've only heard horror stories about bi guys.
     
  11. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    well "hooking up" with him wouldnt be bad :)
    depends on what you and him are looking for lol
     
  12. aLwZjIttERy

    aLwZjIttERy Per vicis adveho verum...

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    well, yeah... i couldnt give a flyin flip what he was hookin up with him, but I'm for a serious, long term relationship
     
  13. :|

    :| Guest

    :werd: it's like scientology
     
  14. Digital_

    Digital_ New Member

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    I just identify as gay. I like both guys and girls, but it's easier just to say gay, then people don't ask. Plus when you're out with people that know you as gay and you comment about some hot girls ass, it tends to cause them to rethink their ideas of what gay is.

    I do like the term Omnisexual, but I couldn't imagine having to explain that term to people constantly.
     

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