Lets Talk about the "L" Bomb

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 91crxdx, Sep 28, 2005.

  1. 91crxdx

    91crxdx New Member

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    I know ive been making alot of posts in the Vaginarium but I get alot more mature responses here then OT section.

    So im just woundering how long till you or your so droped the L bomb. (love)

    Was it in a note? Was it on the phone what was it and how long were you dating etc.

    Just woundering.

    My story is Ive been with this girl for close to a month now, we had a bit of trouble and I wrote a really good note. Inside the note I stated that im Falling in love with her and never thought it could happen so fast. She said she felt the same way. She keeps using <3 in her writings online, like "oh I <3 you soooooo much" She said shes been hurt befor and dosent wanna "Throw" that word around like it means nothing.

    I just dont wanna push it and say it if the feeling isnt 100% mutual ya know?


    What about you guys/girls.
     
  2. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I depends. I have personally never said it 1st. Not to be an ass, I just didnt feel it. Im a very detached person, but thats a whole different issue. I just said it back to 3 girls, im not sure why I said it if I didnt feel it. But I did end up loving (I tought it was love at the time) 2 of them.

    I've said it before 100 times tho. Say it when it feels right to you. If she cant deal with it, so be it. Move on and go find someone else. BUT............. a month seems a pretty short time. It sounds more like a crush or something. I will grant you that you can start caring about someone in just 30 days. or perhaps even realize you two have great potential. But I highly doubt you truly love her.

    Altough, this has always been a pet peeve of mine with you Americans. You throw the word "Love" arround so lightly. Americans say, I love X song, I love my job, I love that TV show, I love my car, I love brownies, etc. No dipshits. You dont love brownies or your favorite song!! You may really, really like them. But you cant love an inanimate object. I truly feel this is one of the great flaws in the english lenguage. There seems to be a term missing. We have, I like you, I care about you and I love you. There should be another term in the middle of caring and loving. Cuz there are girls that I have "loved". But I was not in love with them, but my feelings were stronger than just caring about them.

    To this day I have yet to care enough about someone enough to say I love you and truly mean it (in my native lenguage). I'll say it in english but I know its not truly saying I love you. When I say I love you this is what I really mean; I care about you a lot and for lack of a better suting word, I'll have to settle with saying I love you.

    edit; No offense but based on the way u talk Im gonna venture a guess that you are really young. HS/Middle School??

    Slow the F down and enjoy your time. Shit just gets more complex as you get older. Dont trouble ur life before its necessary.
     
  3. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    Dude, a note? Please don't actually go all out and say the actual words "I love you" in a note, e-mail, text message, phone call, etc. Make it a moment for her to remember. Not that getting caught up in the moment and spouting off impulsive expressions of your infatuation is the way to go but if you are positive that you really love her and you think she loves you too, she will still love you even if you say it in a lame way, but come on...do it in a really sweet memorable way just for her sake.

    Nice post btw, you should ask the other 7th graders what they think too.
     
  4. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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  5. 91crxdx

    91crxdx New Member

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    haha I didnt post this to get flamed or anything just woundering about other peoples situations.

    And no I didnt say i love you in a note, I said im falling in love with you. ( like feel really strongly for you) almost threw that out to test the waters.

    I would have to agree with you tho purple, the word love is tossed around much much to easy.

    I guess im more confused on the love thing, yes i have strong feelings for her but is that love? probably not but at this point in my life I really havent had all the "Experience" you players have so you gotta cut us normal guys some slack.

    Yes im a youngin, 20 here, I know all you adults are such bad asses you never act childish around girls or ever rush into things. I must be the only one...


    Anyone else have any stories to tell on your experiences?
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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  7. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    No one is flaming you. ANd I dont consider myself a player of any sorts. Shit, Im only a few yrs older than you. But I have been arround the block enough to know you cant love someone in 30 days. Love is very powerful and can last a life time. And as such, it takes some time to develop.Statistics tell me that odds are your girl just turned 18. Am I right?

    If so. I would not dare (again) to put something as fragile as you hearth into the hands of someone that has so much growing up to do. They will hurt you. Not because they are bad people, but simply because they are still growing up and there are some necessary phases they must go trhu. The same for you bro. You just started to live life. Look at it this way. Think back and make an account of yoru changes. Since you were 16. How much has your taste in clothes and music changed? How much has your idea of a cool party or a cool weekend night changed? How much has your relationship with your parents changed? How much has your view of school changed? How much has your sense of responsability and doing productive things have changed?

    And you are only getting started. In the next few yrs you will go undergo another major overhaul. Some of your views will change, some will be rooted deeply. All Im saying is that both of you are evolving creatures. And as such it is very hard to stablish solid basis for a relationship. Im not saying dont be with her or dont care about her. But take it for what it is. A learning experience that may very well not be there tomorrow.
     
  8. 91crxdx

    91crxdx New Member

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    Damn your the man. :bowdown: Very good advice thank you.

    And yes she just turned 18.

    Of course im still going to stay with her, but the more I look at it the more I almost do feel im on a higher level then she is. ( Relationship Wise I guess mature wise as well) Like things she says and does.

    But thats beside the point, I was just more or less looking for other peoples stories of where they were and how they said it. Somthing to kill time, maybe bring up some old romantic memories you've forgotten about.

    But thank you for your advice.
     
  9. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

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    I don't pay attention to when it happens, it just happens when it's real and it feels right.
     
  10. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Here is one for you. I was 19 she was 16. I lost my virginity to her and I tought I loved her and she loved me. We had plans to move in together as soon as she finished HS. My whole life revolved arround her. I even failed two semesters because I would sneak into her room and stay there untik 5am even tho I had class at 8am(which of course I missed very often).

    Then a yr into it she starts to get confused. She is thinking about what college to go to, her old BF came back into the pic and she was wondering what if she wanted to be with her. Guys tried to hook up with her and she wondered what if this other guy ots better than what I have. Her friends filled her head with BS and said she was being robbed of her youth (cuz I didnt like her to hang out witht hem cuz they were drunken sluts), etc, etc.

    Finally the issues were so much that we broke up. I felt like I was literally gonna die. I had dreams about her, I would lose my breath and start crying just at the tought of her fucking her new BF. I was a total mess. I could seriously not picture my life w/o her. I went on a self destructive driking/drug using binge for a few months.

    Was she in the wrong? I dont think so now. She did what she had to do to get prepared for adulthood and a real relationship. The mistake was mine that I took it too seriously. And honestly, the experiences I have had since then until now. i would not change for anything in the world.

    Being without her allowed me to do what I had to do. Getting stuff out of my system if you will. I feel the past 4 (almost 5yrs) have prepared me to be a responsable adult and a worthy partner. Im a very firm believer of the following quote;

    "The devil is very important. Because with out him, we could never apreciate god"
     
  11. doug05257

    doug05257 New Member

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    qft
     
  12. Ivy Mike

    Ivy Mike New Member

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    I've noticed that people tend to fall in love around 3-5 months of becoming seriously involved with someone. Doesn't always work like that, but many times it does. Being "in love" does strange things to a persons mind. You brain gets flooded by so many different chemicals and signals that you have no idea whats going on. Love is the most addictive and mind-altering drug in the world. The addiction is built in!

    I discovered that when you finally profess your love isn't really important. It means something, but what is FAR more important is knowing the person you supposedly love. Real love isn't the walking on clouds bliss or delivering candy on Valentines day.
    Real love is when you wake up next to this person for the 1500th time and don't mind his/her nasty breath or the fact that they stole the covers yet again. Real love is getting poked in the ribs by an elbow at night and sliding close yet again. Real love is when that persons happiness has a truly direct effect on yours. It REALLY bothers you when this person is upset. Parents will know exactly what I'm talking about. Hearing their child cry is physically upsetting to a loving parent.
    Having a loved one cry is physcially upsetting to a person. You want to run in and fix the pain. The love from such an act is returned, albeit very subtley simply by your presence comforting the person. Knowing that you care, makes your partner feel better.

    Being in love is always nice. Its like freshly washed pair of sheets or a good bottle of wine with a great meal.

    Truly loving someone is more like a t-shirt thats been washed and dried and beat to hell. Sure, its not an exciting new feeling, but you draw comfort and are familiar with it. It fits you, it suits you. You just aren't as comfortable in anything else.

    THAT is love.

    I'm not quite sure where I went with this monologue, but what I was trying to say is that dropping the "L" bomb isn't really that important in the grand scheme of things. Demonstrating your commitment to the "L" bomb is.
    You've got to be willing to accept that worn out t-shirt even though the bottle of wine sounds better right now. You accept that old t-shirt simply because in the long run, its the better choice.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2005
  13. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    [Slow the F down and enjoy your time. Shit just gets more complex as you get older. Dont trouble ur life before its necessary.[/QUOTE]


    :bowdown: Applause. Truer words have never been spoken.
     
  14. Dax420

    Dax420 Guest

    HAHAAHAA L-Bomb

    I seriously thought you were talking about some kinky lesbian thing.

    I'm sad now.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Personally I believe the girl should say it first.

    Then I don't say it back right then, I wait until another time (assuming I want to say it).

    If I get resistance (Why don't you say it to me?, etc.) I just tell her there are plenty of guys who will tell her that within a week, go date one of them. That's not my style.

    But I do give love very easily. I will show her that I love her with my actions way before I will tell her verbally.

    Also I think the longer you wait, the more suspense and mystery there is for her. Its a mixed message. You can be showing her your love, but she still wants to know when she will get to hear it said. Its something to look forward to.
     
  16. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    For me, I'll never throw that word around. I've never actually said it to anyone (in THAT way), though I felt close a couple times but then I'd think about it and realise I wasn't.

    I would never write it first, unless it was on something I would be giving to her and waiting for the reaction right then. Otherwise I'd definately make sure I said it first. Doesn't matter who says it first really, though it sucks having someone tell you they love you, but not feeling the same way back. Put me in a sucky position heh.
     
  17. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Oh and holy crap dude only a month? I was with someone for a year and didn't even feel close to that stage. Of course every relationship is different, but a month is fucking fast.
     
  18. page

    page New Member

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    So I guess less than a week is fast too? :hs:

    When you know, you know :) That's all that mattered/matters to me :)

    And he said it first :big grin:
     
  19. JaxFlJon

    JaxFlJon Guest

    haha reading these posts made me giggle. Its pretty funny how me and my g/f prolly were all lovy dovy over eachother after a week of dating. We were 2 very clingy people.

    commencing backpedaling.exe
     
  20. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :werd: To put a timestamp on WHEN you can fall in love is ignorant. Every 2 people are different.

    Just don't jump into it. Most of the time when you 'feel' love its just that, a feeling. Real love is so much more than a feeling, and can't really be known until it is tested.
     
  21. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    last guy i dated, i dated for a year before i ever said i loved him. siad it recently, but it was in our break up argument. blah.

    had a guy say it after 3 days...but i agreed. i was indeed in love with him.

    and another guy i said i love you after bout a month...but we had been best friends for a year before we started dating....

    so, what im getting at is it happens when it doesn. dont push it, nor consider it a objective (oh, we've done x, y and z, so now its time to say i love you, move in together, get enaged, married, kids, death...)
     
  22. doug05257

    doug05257 New Member

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    Not if you ever got to the third guy... if you're really in love, then you don't want anyone else as much as the person you're in love with.
     
  23. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    actually, that list was out of order. it was guy 3 day, then guy 2 week, then guy year.

    befor mr 3day, i dated two others (hs) who i said they loved me after about 3 months, and 1 month respectively.

    i loved them, but everyone except, that 2 week guy, i was just in infatuation with.
     
  24. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    wow, thats like a really bad algabraic word problem :rofl:
     
  25. page

    page New Member

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    Going strong for 3 months now, living together for 1 month, I know that doesn't seem like much, or too fast- but to go this long with being this happy I know it'll last :)

    Well, I don't *know*, but I have a very very very good feeling about it :big grin:
     

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