Lets talk about chemistry

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JBunni, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I'm curious about the vag's thoughts on chemistry in a relationship.

    I never really understood it/ valued it in a relationship until I met "fiance". Before him, I had only had one real relationship. I think the only reason I really got into that relationship was because he was the first guy to really seem interested in me at all. Anyway, I had a lot of guy friends throughout high school and after. And (maybe this is creepy) I would try to look at them and 'evaluate' how I would fee being in a relationship with them.
    "Oh, hes cute looking"
    "hes funny"
    "he is a caring guy"
    Even in a physical way I would try to imagine being in a LTR with them. It was never bad, and I guess I figured one day it would work out with one of them, or someone new who came along, but under the same premise of being friends first.

    But when I met my fiance for the first time in person, it was a totally different story. We hung out for a week with our friends, and we had a great time. Toward the end of the week, I really started noticing something between us. And I'm sure this sounds weird, but it was like, I could feel what he was feeling. Like we had a connection. When we talked later about that time period, it was crazy how identical our thought processes were. I had NEVER felt SOOOO strongly about anyone before. Saying we 'hit it off' would be a huge understatement. After we left, I couldnt stop thinking about him at all for 2 days.

    Since then I've always felt we have had a deep connection. Not telepathy, but there are times where we can almost read each others minds. Our 'chemistry' is one of the biggest reasons I feel we will be good together as a married couple. And its something that has not worn off over the 3 years we have been together.

    Anyone else have thoughts about chemistry in a relationship? Experiences? Its just something I've been thinking about recently.:wavey:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Can't have a good relationship without it IMO :dunno:
     
  3. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    I may be way off base here, but is it chemistry in so much as it's compatibility that keeps a relationship together?

    Not that chemistry between two people isn't important, especially initially, but I think chemistry can be very misleading. I know a lot of people, myself included, that have had fantastic chemistry with a significant other at the start but the relationship was really volatile. When things were good, they were really good but when things were bad it was TERRIBLE. Which isn't to say that these people weren't in love or weren't supportive of each other but besides the allure of their "chemistry", their relationship didn't have even ground to stand on. Chemistry led them to believe they were compatible and their relationship had a real shot when in reality, it didn't.

    Which is in no way a judgment on your relationship JBunni or on yours Beer. I think you both have relationships that work really well for you. I just wonder if the concept of chemistry is misleading. :dunno:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I completely get where you are coming from. I've personally never thought of it that way because to be honest, I'm so level-headed that I've never had great chemistry with the wrong guy jade me (if that's what I should call it?). When I think about it now though I've definitely know tons of friends who let chemistry almost guide them completely. Really I think one could relate chemistry to strictly "following your heart."
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Agreed.

    And I think that JBunni is a good example of what you are talking about. :dunno:

    "Chemistry" is the best way I know of for people to hang onto relationships that just don't work.
     
  6. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I suppose thats true also. But what makes two people compatible? Is it more defined than chemistry?
     
  7. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    :bowdown:
     
  8. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I agree with LP 100%. And saying "chemistry" is a very broad term. Are you talking sexual chemistry? Are you talking psychological chemistry? There are different types of chemistry. I've met a few women in my life who I've immediately been drawn to personality wise where we've finished each others sentences and feel like we've known each other forever even though we've just met. I've also known a couple women who I just clicked with physically and it felt so right it was like we were designed to be together. Neither of those qualities guarantee a good relationship though. I'm not saying chemistry isn't good or even potentially necessary for a good relationship, but I am saying do not be fooled into thinking it's fate just because the chemistry is there.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Chemistry : Relationship :: Air, Food, and Recreation : Life

    Something like that. It is not just wonderful to have but also is the foundation, the basic necessity. It is not just necessary but also exquisite and amazing.

    Most people, like Lucky Penny, compromise between chemistry and longevity.

    Personally, I find increasing longevity at the expense of chemistry to be self-contradictory; the only reason for desiring longevity is the chemistry; reduce the latter and you want less of the former, not more. You should just find another person if you are not, on the whole, feeling it 200%. Life is short.

    Life is short and the world is huge. But people let their fear of not having good enough options or of not finding that chemistry elsewhere tether them to lukewarm "partners."
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  11. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i feel that chemistry and compatibility are 2 totally different things, but both needed for a relationship to last.

    compatibility is wanting to go down the same path, seeing eye to eye on how to live your life, how to spend money, if you want or dont want kids, enjoying similar activities, similar life goals, etc etc

    chemistry is that spark or "clicking" that you feel with a person

    i think you can have compatibility without chemistry and you can have chemistry without compatibility
     
  12. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I like what you say, but damn your phrasing is difficult to understand sometimes.

    I also would agree with this. Compatibility can be defined by 'goals' and other factors, while chemistry is more something you have to feel as opposed to something you could "see" in a relationship.

    lol, I actually told him this the other day. He gave me a :eek3:, called me weird, and told me he loved me.

    Its crazy how much of our relationship I see in this description. I think its a good thing.
     
  13. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Or you can have both :eek5:

    My parents are so awesome sometimes it makes me :hs: in fear I'll never find something like that, where, after celebrating their 35th anniversary a month ago, they are seriously madly fucking in love with each other, still hump all the time, and have an incredibly loving, supportive and functional marriage.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Good call Alaya :o
     

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