Let's discuss the long term relationship slump...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MCohen, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    I think we've all gone through this: its the point in a LTR when you wonder if this is the right thing, if this person really is the one, if there isn't anything better out there (the wording on that makes it sound really bad, but its the truth), and if this person is holding you back from what you really want to do or finding your true self. How did you deal with it?
     
  2. giz

    giz Active Member

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    choose which of my 3 girlfriends I want to keep around for sex, dump the other two and look for replacements
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Haven't gone through that once in almost 3 years.

    I fidn it funny that in no way all the cheating you do would make you think you were in a slump.
     
  4. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    FYI: I stopped cheating a few weeks ago, I've never been happier with a SO in my entire life.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Then what slump are you referring to?
     
  6. giz

    giz Active Member

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  7. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    She's the one going through it :mamoru:
     
  8. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    :ugh:
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Oh, well I still have never felt that way so I can't help you.
     
  10. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    never happened to me, but apparently it hit my wife, that's why she left me.
     
  11. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I think my boyfriend and I went through a little slump like you're talking about and you just have to remind each other why you're together. We've gotten in a few "fights" were I whine that I miss how things used to be and then we go on a few dates and spice things up. It's not that I ever stopped loving him during those times, I just started to miss the spontaneity and sex in random places kinda thing.

    I think it's normal. :dunno:

    When people get "comfortable" they stop trying to romance the other because everything just clicks and then the passion starts to slip. You just gotta keep the fire burning bright.
     
  12. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    You openly admit that you cheat on your partner?
     
  13. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

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    You minus whale do a thread search to save the time, and this thread.
     
  14. skych

    skych New Member

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    she should probably leave you anyways, dont fight it
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Woah woah waoh. Woah. WOAH there. Woah. Woah.

    Does this mean I have to start cheating now? :mamoru:
     
  16. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    So, according to said topics/posts...

    You stopped cheating on the SO... You now think things are great, awesome. But now she is bored and thinks the relationship is in a slump?

    Maybe now she is bored cause of how you were splitting your time up between 3 women?
     
  17. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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  18. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    if i ever felt that way in a relationship, i left it. its one thing to have things get comfortable and want to spice it up a bit, its another to wonder if my SO is not the right person for me. if i ever thought that, its cause i knew the answer and walked away.

    did your cheating stop before or after your gf started thinking this?
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    My SO and I went through this, at about the same time actually- about 4.5-5 years in. It wasn't that we weren't in love anymore, I think we were both just wondering if we were in the right place with the right person. Maybe there was someone out there who is just like him but likes to go out more... or maybe there is someone out there like her but isn't as stubborn... Maybe there is someone else out there that does the same things I love about you but none of the things that drive me nuts about you :mamoru: that kind of thing.

    It lasted a while- a good 4/5 months. For me at least, I think it was a little longer for him. It was pretty sucky. Neither of us realized the other felt this way until we talked about it- so this had been going on for a while without any discussion.

    Around our 5 year anniversary we finally talked about it. We had both decided (independently) that we wanted to stay in the relationship. From that point on, the focus shifted to "what can I do to support and love my SO and this relationship" instead of "what can he/she do better." that really made a significant difference.

    So all in all, we fell into a rut and just muscled through. :dunno: That was almost a year ago, and our relationship is better now than it's ever been. IMO, it's the best way to deal with it. Decide if it's worth staying and if it is, take active steps toward bettering your relationship. But you've got to put the time in.
     
  20. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    yes i have. normally when that happens i break it off. it normally comes around the 2-3 month mark.

    once i did not. well, i tried but the ex threatened her own life if i left her.... so much drama.... i ended up getting married :ugh: 6 yrs of wasted time and we divorced.

    after that i have not made that mistake again. if i start doubting if i would want to spend my life w. a girl i leave.
     
  21. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I think if you start feeling this you, you aren't perhaps in love or perhaps you aren't right for one another?
     
  22. Contemptor

    Contemptor OT Supporter

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    I had a 2 year LDR. Just spending the weekend together or having a fun night when we actually saw each other helped bring it back completely tho pretty much. We talked on the phone/webcam a lot.

    Ours worked out great overall for 2 years, then she broke up with me over the summer when we were a 10min drive away lol.
     
  23. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    cohen, go back to your cheating ways. i bet she likes you more when you had your "hands full" with other women. women deserve to be treated like shit. fuck em.
     
  24. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    /thread
     
  25. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    :hs: :o Thanks
     

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