Ladies... what are the "little things" that you enjoy?

Discussion in 'Archives' started by EdgeCat, May 15, 2002.

  1. EdgeCat

    EdgeCat Guest

    I just had a long, ugly, emotional argument with the girlfriend (it had to be bad for even ME to get emotional). One of the things she was upset about was how I don't show her "enough affection". I'm not a very affectionate person by nature, but I'd like to at least compromise somewhat... But I really don't know how.

    So what is it you ladies like that really makes you feel good? My way of showing affection has been occasional hugging/kissing, but I'm more of a "pick on her/tickle her to show affection" kinda guy. She apparently doesn't see the affection in that. I love her and everything, I've just never been any good at this kind of thing.
     
  2. taqman15

    taqman15 OT Supporter

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    i think its kinda hard to pretend to be affectionate if you truely aren't.....you aren't going to be genuine....just tell her that you are not an affectionate person but that doesn't mean that you don't love her......ask her what she wants.....if all else fails then buy her something......that is usually the short term answer
     
  3. Julia29127

    Julia29127 Guest

    Don't just buy her something! Unless she's incredibly materialistic she's going to take that as you just trying to buy her off so she'll shut up already. I don't even think you need to go as far as planning out some elaborate reliving of the first date thing, though that would be cute. Try writing her a quick email once and a while just telling her you miss her, or make her something cute ( I got paper roses for valentines day, that was so adorable! :kiss: ). Kisses and hugs should really be enough anyway, especially if you give them randomly or just out of nowhere tell her you love her or care about her or whatever. my .02
     
  4. pmspwrdgsr

    pmspwrdgsr Guest

    There are lots of little things that girls go crazy over. One thing that I love is being hugged from behind when we're standing around. That's my favorite "little thing". Or just when you sitting around, just kiss her on the cheek or forehead. I love that. It really doesn't take much to make her feel special. Just be close to her, pay attention and smile :) That's all it really takes. :) Hold her hand, write her a note, email her just to say that your thinking of her...
     
  5. PrettyLush5

    PrettyLush5 red sky at night

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    Well, don't buy her anything, that will probably just piss her off. If you aren't comfortable being really affectionate (some guys just aren't) just be sure to tell her how much you love her, and just say nice things everyonce in awhile. I know what it's like to date someone that picks on you to show affection, and it gets really old sometimes. Sometimes if you're having a bad day or something you just want to hear something nice.
     
  6. Ceaze

    Ceaze https://hearthis.at/DoYouEvenUplift Moderator

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    check out the April 2002 Men's Health, "41 Ways To Melt a Woman's Heart"
     
  7. bluecrab

    bluecrab Guest

     
  8. 12xalt

    12xalt petrolsexual

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    Just try to remember to occassionally hold her hand or put your arm around her when your sitting next to each other. Foot rubs if you are sitting across from her. Your hand on her leg if you're out somewhere, doesn't mean other people have to see it. If you walk past her, rub her neck or shoulders for a minute. Kiss her cheek once in a while. None of these things are overly physical, nor do they last for a long time and no one has to see them, they can be very private, but, they are still affection in small little ways that women like. Doesn't mean you have to do them non-stop all the time either, just once in a while.
     
  9. :taking notes:
    same issue here!
     
  10. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Lots of good advice in this thread. Here's my two cents.

    After 12 years of marriage, last year I finally admited to myself and hubby that I get a little batshit when we're apart and I needed little assurances from him. Now he drops me emails just telling me that he was thinking of me, leaves me a message on my cell phone. When I come back from a tough trip, he often leaves flowers in the kitchen (the $3.99 kind from teh supermarket). It helps a LOT.

    I'd say an email in the middle of the day when you think of her, a note that says that something that she did that would be completely ordinary to anyone else turned you on or touched you in some way (doesn't always need to be sexual). A slight brush of your hand against her arm, followed with a smile. That's all good.

    As for your way of being affectionate, it took me a long, long time before I wasn't self conscious about my hubby's teasing. More often than not, I'd take it personally, so she might need to learn how to pick up on your emotional signals too.
     
  11. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Excellent advice in this thread. I just wanted to add that all of these things will work.
    And Good luck ; )
     
  12. Morpheus

    Morpheus Guest

    Lotsa good advice in this thread...:bigthumb:
     
  13. RoblesGT

    RoblesGT [Track Days: 19 ][Crashes: 1] [SuMo Days: 1 ][Cras OT Supporter

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    Some other stuff you can do, actually mail her small short letters thru the Postal Service, these she can keep and open up whenever she wants.

    Everything else has pretty much been covered, I cant think of anything else. My g/f loves the emails I send her. Try to get her to also be affectionate towards you. This way, she can start and you can learn and follow her lead as well.
     
  14. PrettyLush5

    PrettyLush5 red sky at night

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    That is exactly how I am, I just didn't know how to word it since I've never really been treated that way. :sad2:
     
  15. Jay92Z

    Jay92Z Member

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    I agree with Morpheus, lotsa good info here, and while i'm at it, i'll let ya in on one that has worked wonders for me before. This is the season for a lot of sports to be going on...baseball, basketball, hockey, etc., Both the NBA and NHL are in the midst of their playoff schedule's. And if a lot of you are big sports fanatics like me, then as of right now we are in hog heaven. So do this for her once and see what she says. Instead of settling in at 2:00 in the afternoon to sit around and watch NBA playoff games all day like you usually do on a Saturday, swing by pick her up and take her out for an unplanned picnic in the park or something like that. If she's not into sports or doesn't have a clue about you missing the playoffs, no biggie, she'll still know you took time to think out something nice for the two of you, and if she does know you gave up seeing the Lakers-Kings playoff game, she'll love it even more. Just my plain ole .02:)
     
  16. PaddoK

    PaddoK Some dolphins get massacred, some dolphins get blo

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    My girl is kinda like you.. She picks on me alot i guess as a meens of showing affection. Im kinda like your girlfriend lol, I dont see it as an affectionate thing, even though I know she is just kidding. Anyways, thought she doesnt do things that make me feel incredibly special all the time, when she does do things, like wait for me unexpectedly or just do somethin to show her love, it really makes me feel good.

    Anyways, my advice to you is to find things she likes, favorite drink / movie / music / anything and suprise her with it.. nothing makes me happier than seeing the look on my gf's face when I supprise her with her favorite drink on a particularly parched afternoon. There are tons of things you could do to make your girlfriend feel more loved. Supprise her places, hold her hand in public especialy around people she doesnt enjoy. Be there for her.. dedicate a day or two every so often to just talkign to her and catching up.

    some of the other things people talk about are great too. Just leave her voice mails randomly telling you were thinking about her.. notes.. dont hafta be essays, short but sweet works great. there are so many small little things you can do. be creative.. somethings never get old, like holding hands or kissing, but with notes and messages and suprisses, creativity and uniqueness are a plus.

    also and the most important. Just remind her that you love her.. Wisper it in her ear everchance you get. I could never get sick of my girl telling me she loves me..

    good luck man, showing affection might be difficult at times, but its reassuring , builds trust, and erases any negative thought one might have.
     
  17. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I love a comfortable silence. When the two of us could sit there, not say anything, and just be happy with our siple companionship.
     
  18. MiseryIndex

    MiseryIndex i never know why. i only know who. Moderator

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  19. EdgeCat

    EdgeCat Guest

    Thanks, y'all have given me a lot of good ideas to try. Again, it's not that I don't love her or don't have any affection, I just don't know how best to show it in ways that most girls like. Dunno, might be a product of having a lot of unsuccessful relationships (or possibly the CAUSE of such relationships)...

    Anyway, I spent all weekend with her, and we had a lot of fun. Her parents moved out to the middle of BFE, so we spent the entire time together. I did a lot more of the putting my arm around her, giving her random kisses, what-have-you... and she seemed to be genuinely happy. :blue: I'll keep trying all the suggestions you guys gave and see how they work.

    And by all means, keep 'em coming if you have 'em. I'm guessing I'm not the only one looking for tips and pointers on this subject.
     
  20. 12xalt

    12xalt petrolsexual

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    Glad you made the effort. Now, the important thing, is to not allow yourself to go back to the way it was. Many times people make that effort, cause they know it's needed, then forget about it again. Then, of course, the other person a month or two later will bring it up and there will be another fight and you'll say "but I did make a change, I did try, I did show you more affection" and she'll say "yeah, for a week, and it was wonderful". So, if you feel you two should be together, and you really do care, and you really do wanna be more affectionate, then do whatever you need to to make sure that you don't revert back.
     

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