Ladies, how did your SO first approach you?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Highlander, Mar 12, 2010.

  1. Highlander

    Highlander New Member

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    Just curious as I have pretty bad approach anxiety and I'm trying to work through it.

    How did your SO first approach you? Was it a completely cold approach (as in you didn't notice him until he approached you)? Did you know each other before it turned romantic? Did you approach him?

    Just trying to gauge how women like to be approached by men. I can't bring myself to approach a woman unless she gives me a sign like a smile or something, but it seems like alot of guys just go for a completely cold approach which seems very creepy and invasive to me.
     
  2. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Would it be creepy an invasive if you walked up to a woman you don't know and offered her a 10$ bill?




    .... Aren't you worth more then $10?


    I am offering a woman an opportunity.
     
  3. john law

    john law Guest

    White Tims with a slight grin.
     
  4. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    It CAN be creepy and invasive to just cold approach... especially if you're not confident. My GF works at a video game / cd store, so naturally she gets the attention of all the uber socially dumb nerds. Hell, she called me earlier today and told me this dude was in her store chatting up a storm to her about the comics he drew and this and that.... she kept telling him "my BF this"... and "my BF that", dude wouldn't take a hint.

    A lot about being good at approaching is being able to 'take' hints. This is why any approach written in stone will fail horribly. We're human, and that shit doesn't account for the human element. Confidence and experience on the other hand will GREATLY help you navigate the human element in any given situation... relationship wise, career wise, family wise...

    In fact, i'd say if you're this worried about it, then you WILL come off as creepy and / or invasive. No offense, cold approach works for guys who are confident and think of themselves as the prize, not for guys who are self conscious and think of the woman as the prize. If you think the latter, you're going to come off as too interested, too desperate, too much "insert 'bad quality' here". And you WILL be those things.

    By all means, I'm not saying don't go out and approach girls. The only way you'll learn and get comfortable in those situations is by putting yourself in a lot of those situations. It took me almost a year of solid "me building"... gaining my confidence, becoming comfortable with who I am, and learning to value highly before I felt comfortable in those situations.

    I'm not saying it can't be done. Quite the opposite. I did it, and most of the vag will tell you the same. But you're going to have to put in the EFFORT. It WILL NOT happen over night. You WILL come home on PLENTY of nights alone. But that's not the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing that can happen is you make no progress. And if you want to succeed, you can't let that happen. Just keep your head high, and work on growing your confidence. The rest, while it won't come 'naturally', will come MUCH easier when you find yourself slightly less worried about what the chick on the other end of the bar is thinking about you.
     
  5. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    :bowdown:
     
  6. Highlander

    Highlander New Member

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    Thanks for all the good info. I guess I just need to go out more and make more approaches. I was almost thinking of going out in another city and making a shitload of approaches. If I get rejected or it goes south it's not like I'll ever see them again, and it'll give me a chance to gain some experience.
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    excellent plan. you also won't care about the outcome because they are far away anyway.


    Focus on HAVING FUN. talking to a pretty girl is supposed to be fun for both of you. Sure its nerve racking at first, but thats what makes it exciting.
     
  8. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    That doesn't really help you'll still get approach anxiety a the moment. But it will be good since you won't see them again
     
  9. Highlander

    Highlander New Member

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    True but it'll give me some experience on what to expect, even if it does go bad and it'll teach me how to break through the anxiety. Plus I can try some different methods to see what works and what doesn't. Then I can take that back to my own city and be better prepared.
     
  10. Ago816

    Ago816 New Member

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    Just believe in yourself, hold your head high, always smile at girls. And not that creepy I wanna rape you smile either, the smile that says hey lets talk. Bitches love confidence in general. It takes time to build, but eventually you get the hang of it. Rejection is all part of the game, you cannot let it get you down, if a girl rejects you who cares! It is all about the chase. Never try to hard either, just go and have fun and try not to care about anything.
     
  11. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    We used to work together. I think the first thing he said to me was "Hey, happy Halloween" when I was walking by and I just smiled and said it back and that was that lol. He would approach me and just strike up conversations. Some of them would be "You like working here?", "You have any plans tonight with your friends?" (when it was the weekend), "You going to watch the game tonight? Colts are playing" ect. We got to know each other for about a little less than 2 months before we started dating.

    I don't really care how a guy approaches me as long as his opening line isn't something revolved around my looks. I'd rather him strike up a random conversation about the weather or something and talk for a bit to try to get to know me.
     
  12. RichieHemingway

    RichieHemingway New Member

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    Ha ha.

    I try to never bring the Colts up at all.

    I like them but everybody here has such a boner for everything Peyton does I try not to enter 5 minute lectures.
     
  13. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    The cold approach is stupid. Every time a dude pulls it on me, I think, "Here's another douchebag who's all up in that PUA nonsense." Rejection and mockery usually ensues.

    Just be funny, be smart, and be yourself.
     
  14. Highlander

    Highlander New Member

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    :hsugh: Because cold approaching never happened until the seduction community came along...
     
  15. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    What ? so you think everyone should only hit on friends or something ?
     
  16. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i think you have the wrong definition for cold approach
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  18. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    $5 says it's possible to approach you so cold you'd be left hot for more :noes:
     
  19. giz

    giz Active Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  20. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    I think you've got it wrong :rofl:

    We're not talking about walking up to a chick at a bar, glaring at her tits, and asking if she saw the fight outside. Or saying "Hey baaaaby, can I buy YOU a drink? *wink*"

    We're talking about, you're both at the bar, it's a long wait, so I say something witty. Maybe if it was witty enough and I came off as confident, we'd start chatting. Maybe not. But THAT is a 'cold' approach. Doesn't mean it has to be awkward or forced or unwanted... it just means ONE of you takes the initiative to start a conversation with another person you don't know.

    I've met a lot of my friends that way. I'm sure you're the same.
     
  21. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    My bad, I misinterpreted. In my head I pictured something creepy. Sorry, dudes!
     
  22. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    Yeah I know what you mean. I live in Indianapolis so I hear about them a lot. :rofl:

    My bf is a huge sports fanatic and grew up that way. All he watches is ESPN. So because of him I end up getting into a lot of games of different sports.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    It could be creepy :mamoru:

    What makes the approach cold is the girl. You don't know her. So she's not warmed to you. So it's a cold approach.

    It's like in sales: a "cold" call is a call to someone who has no reason to talk to you.
     
  24. LoriLove

    LoriLove New Member

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    he didnt. i was druuuuunk... i walked up to him and told him "i'm gonna fuck you tonight." then i told him to come back to my dorm room... he said he would, i said "no you wont." so he did just to prove me wrong... then he spent the next two hours telling me how to not come off as a whore.



    and no, i didn't fuck him that night, i passed out after the 2 hour convo. lol.
     
  25. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    odd, odd way to start a relationship :rofl:
     

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