SRS Lacking self confidence, feeling lonely in new city

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nzwasp, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. nzwasp

    nzwasp New Member

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    Hey,

    This is my first post in here I think.

    I've just moved to Calgary, Canada from NZ and I'm finding that life is exactly as i expected it. I thought it would be super easy to make friends etc and all that sort of thing. I find that work is pretty good however I work with a few of your typical geek characters which is all good, and in the first few weeks of being here they invited me to go snow boarding and go to another province so that was all good. Now I feel like its hard to initate things to do with them because they are older (just) or have partners of which they spend their time with.

    Also I met a girl but she is 18 and i am 26, things are going pretty smoothly and I really enjoy spending time with her but her friends just see me as the older guy and can't really relate. Even though she is 18 she is quite mature for her age, but I guess her friends havent really caught up. When I was in NZ i dated two girls who were both 18, I dated one then the other for a period of years and I found the going through uni thing (for them) really tough to handle for exactly these reasons.

    Summary:
    So basically the crux is that I am finding it tough to meet people here and I want to know some ways to increase my self confidence to attract people towards me to be my friend. I don't usually have this problem I just find it wierd trying to talk to randoms in the pub / clubs etc that are already in their cliquey groups.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    If you don't want to be lonely then you have to step towards the people, and you have to step over the initial akwardness that comes when meeting new people. If you think about it its not akward at all, there was a first time to talk for everyone you have met in your life. No action = no reaction , so initiating something is the key to meet new people, the akwardness is just a price you have to pay to meet new people.
     
  3. fhfn2000

    fhfn2000 New Member

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    maybe starting a new hobby will help you meet new people.
     
  4. Gonrad

    Gonrad OT Supporter

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    Yup.

    My hobby is cars and I have met some great friends through this.
     
  5. nzwasp

    nzwasp New Member

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    yeah, ive meet a few people through facebook today which has been good, and im gonna meet up with some canadian new comer group this week so that will be good too i hope.

    My gf might not be my gf for too long because shes asked for space today and is acting depressed 18yo type situation. Not much I can do about that to be honest. All my friends back home and even ones here have told me to chill out and just leave things be
     
  6. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I remember when I first moved to America at age 15 from an Asian country. I spoke English so it wasn't too bad...but I still felt really alienated from my pre-dominantly white school...
     

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