Well... I've been prety lost the last little while. Normally, I have always been operating on some "vague" level but recently its stepped up a bit. School wise, I can't decide what to major in. I've already gone through 3 years of business administration studies and now I need to decide what to concentrate in. Thing is, I have no clue. No preference really. It's almost like anything is alright, but nothing is ok. I don't even know if I want to stay in business! There's just so many questions floating around that I find myself spinning my tires in mud. Career wise, I have no ambition. Well, as of now. Since it's summer I need to find a summer job to pay the bills for school and housing and have been applying to a whole slew of jobs, but no luck yet. The problem is that right now I'm looking more favorably towards a landscaping job as opposed to something with accounting or business related. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Considering I AM in the business proram you'd think I would find that area of study interesting. This lack of ambition is evident even when I do get jobs - last summer I worked in the finance department of a firm and just felt complacent in doing what I was told. Everything was routine, it just felt like I was wasting my life away one day at a time. Life wise, I can't decide on going after girls. As far as I can remember I've lacked the strength to approach girls right away. When I do finally work up the courage I sputter something out inappropriately or wait too long. It's actually embarrasing me right now, thinking back of all the times. Now in university, there are so many girls and its just killlling me not being able to go up to them. Apparently I am "known" as a socialable one but to be honest I much rather like the quiet scene (ie. i'd rather travel with a core of friends somewhere than go on a 'grad trip') I am able to talk to alot of 'ugly' girls etc but when it comes to girls that I am attracted to I just automatically hit this wall - becoming super quiet, ordinary, and dull. That's not the real me though! Does anyone else find themselves lacking any sort of drive? Almost like nothing matters at all? I know my problem is that I need to be more assertive. But I don't feel like that's me. Or is being assertive just "being who you are" but more so? Fcuk. That was a long rant - - - - Cliffs: Rant.