SRS Lack of motivation in approaching girls.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TopDawg, Oct 15, 2005.

  1. TopDawg

    TopDawg New Member

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    I am 20 years old, a college student in my second year. I have this problem of mustering up the sparkle of gusto to approach and converse with my female classmates, though I am definitely not an overtly introverted person, and am in fact quite confident at times with the opposite sex. I have many times make constant eye contacts with a few female students in class, yet I just cannot find the push to come forth and introduce myself; and, I find the idea of moving my seat next to the girls I find attractive rather obvious and silly--- almost foolhardy in a way that I can imagine my imminent rejection from them. This is my problem: I can be careless and at ease in many other settings, but in classrooms I can never find the right things to say and the right pretext to approach girls. What is wrong with me?
     
  2. sneakmefood

    sneakmefood Olé

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    you gotta sav it up. take the risk or no cooter for you...
     
  3. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I am 20 and in second year college. Same problem. just grow balls.........It's hard. but when you come home and post on OT... you think it's easy, and look back on how you coulda done this or that.

    Funny, eh.
     
  4. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Guys, like the famous Nike quote says:

    JUST DO IT

    There's always a chance for rejection. If you get rejected, you get rejected. So what? Her loss, not yours. Move on. One thing is for sure though... NOT doing anything means NO chance of getting any.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You have No you might get Yes , because if you don't shoot you'll always miss.
     
  6. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Your problem is that you fear rejection and you fear not being looked at in a favorable light by a girl. That's stupid. You shouldn't care less what they think, do what YOU want.

    I know it's easy to say that but you can change, I did. What I did was I kept forcing myself to do it, and try not to care about what the answer is. And like me, you will probably be rejected for awhile when you first start making attempts to get past this self defeating behavior, but eventually you will get out of this habit.

    One thing that helped me, was my brothers best friend. This guy was the type of guy that was banging a new girl every week. She could be hot or ugly, he didn't care. He also had NO game. How does a guy with no game get chicks every week? Because he didn't even let the thought of rejection enter his mind once. He would walk right up to a strange girl and say stupid things like, "Hey sexy." If he got shot down (and he did a lot) he wouldn't even think of that girl a second time. He would move to the next girl who would be standing with an ugly friend. He would then walk up to that hot/ugly duo and tell the ugly girl that her friend was hot, right in front of both of them. He played the numbers game, that's why he was successful. By the end of the night he would have hit on pretty much every girl he saw. When you do that you will succeed, but to do that you can't care what they think of you.

    Do you think this guy was obvious? Yes, he was obvious to the ladies, but he also appeared confident because you knew he knew it was obvious as well, but he didn't care. That's confidence. He was going to do what he really wanted to do regardless of what others thought of him.

    In your situation, you see these attractive girls and you want to sit by them but you don't because it is obvious? Well no wonder you can't get a girlfriend. You don't ask a girl out being discreet do you? BE OBVIOUS. You WANT a girl to know you are interested in more than being friends. That's why so many guys always end up in the friendzone because they are so discreet that the girl thinks of him only as a friend-and that's where they end up.

    If you think a girl in class is hot, then go sit by her and start a conversation. Once you do start a conversation, don't sit there everyday without the courage to ask her because the longer you wait, the more likely that she will think less of you and your chances will be gone. Ask the girl out by the end of the class period, and do it in a way to where it doesn't look like it's a big deal. If you are sweating and stuttering then you likely won't get anywhere. If you act nervous, you will likely not get anywhere. Start a conversation then be like, "Hey, I know this little coffee shop down the street that has the best black coffee. I would like to buy you cup sometime. What are you doing tomorrow before class?" This way, you aren't even asking her if she wants to go, you are asking what she is doing at that time. You are giving her every opportunity to give it a shot. If she says no or if she says she is busy and doesn't offer you a different day to reschedule, then she is not interested, and move on. At least you found out where you stood right away and didn't waste months being her best guy friend listening to all of her problems and wondering if she would ever like you. You got your answer within minutes, and now you can move on and forget her.
     
  7. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    Confidence means you are ready at all times, not giving a shit where it is at. Just say fuck it and go for it...you have nothing to lose, NOTHING!
     
  8. AO

    AO New Member

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    Learn to flirt.

    Start by being friendly to the women off campus: say "hello" and "how's it going" to the "girl" at the donut shop, the supermarket, the waitress at the restaurant, the movie theatre, the Taco Bell, the receptionist, the secretary, the teacher, professor, cop, doctor, nurse, the bus driver, the taxi driver, the stewardess, the postlady, ... Anywhere you meet a woman take the time to be friendly. It doesn't have to be about sex, although that "'under' tension" will always be there. They are people, too; just treat them like anyone else. Compliment that 'girl' who just gave you that cup of coffee if her hairdo looks nice, etc. If she looks sad try to cheer her up. Take an interest in her life because she probably is too wrapped up in her problems.

    Ask around where the best restaurants are, who has the best coffee or pizza in town. Sample all the ethnic restaurants, the Greek, Thai, Korean, Spanish, Italian, Indian, French places; which theatres have the best screens, best seats, best sound. Become a connoisseur.

    Just walk around and be friendly; be a friend.

    Then when you sit down next to that "hottie," compliment her on her earings, ask her what that pin means, why she likes that colour so much, etc. Women want to be noticed. So let her know that you notice her. See if she'll go with you to the football or baseball game.

    If you meet a woman who is pretty don't be afraid of telling her so. Just say, "You're pretty." And smile. Have pride in your wardrobe, dress with taste. Dress like the type of woman you wish to attract. Then just be friendly, be a friend.

    Learn to flirt. http://www.google.com/search?q=flir...ient=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    What is wrong with you? Absolutely nothing!!! You just don't have any practice meeting women! Just like learning to ride a bike, if you don't get on and get rolling, and fall off a few times, you will never learn to ride that bike. So go get some lessons:

    www.AskMen.com & www.DocLove.com <-- My personal favorite for "quality" relationships, $99 book.

    www.MysteryMethod.com - approaching women, a total system. Does not focus on long term, though.

    www.SoSuave.net - a little of everything, I like this site.

    Good luck!
     
  10. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    wow, good info here.:bowdown: you pulled the wild card on me, diggitydogg. thanks.

    keep them comming!
     
  11. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    It really helped me to find some other guys to go out and do approaches with. Find some guys who are really successful with women and just do a full day of cold approaches every other week. Even if you dont get a number or email, you will be rewarded with experience and confidence. Do the Sosuave bootcamp and read other people's bootcamp journals.
     

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