SRS Labels suck.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Seandq, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. Seandq

    Seandq Usertext for Rent

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    I've gone to Catholic school the majority of my life -- from K to eighth grade. I just graduated eighth grade and I'm entering ninth and I have no problem admitting that openly. I'm only moving on to the program in my high school with three of my friends and I met tons of people at summer school, so it looked like that was no problem.

    However, this one girl, A let's refer to her as..we've talked tons since it's gotten out and we're going to hang out. What attracted me physically to Alex was her individuality -- we live in Florida and she was wearing a hoodie to class daily, listened to unique indie music, and watched movies from certain directors -- and only those directors.

    Coming from Catholic School, where everyone was generic and kind of followed the straight-and-narrow, it's a bit of a change. She recommened to me this book The Hipster Handbook, which she considers her Bible. I find some aspects of it good. I've started to really enjoy indie rock, which I had a liking for but not as large as it is now. I'm a liberal politically.

    But on the other hand, I'm a bit of a non-hipster as well. I play football, baseball, and wrestling. I wear T-shirts and jeans or shorts usually. I'm a casual dresser, but I enjoy it.

    I don't want to lose a friend, because I appreciate A a lot but I don't want to conform to be something I'm not. Sure, I'll get Chuck Taylors and Buddy Holly glasses because I like them, but wearing sweatshirts and jeans in 90-degree weather isn't my cup of tea.

    What am I supposed to do?
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2006
  2. Clarity

    Clarity New Member

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    what?
     
  3. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    :rly:
     
  4. blueNcream

    blueNcream win OT Supporter

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  5. Seandq

    Seandq Usertext for Rent

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    I'm sorry, browser screwed up. Edited.
     
  6. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Don't ever lose or suppress your identity just to keep a friend (or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend). Be yourself. If she can't accept you for who you are at the core, then she's not a good friend to have. Chances are she'll respect you for having your own beliefs and opinions, anyway.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Define your own life in the way you want it, instead of living up towards the expectations of others. This way you will keep the power effectivly where it belongs, namely in your hands. Otherwhise you'll be lying against yourself into becoming something what you are not.
     
  8. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Be yourself. But also...at your age it's not unlikely what you think is your identity now (i.e., politics, tastes, interests) is going to flip-flop drastically over the course of the next few years.

    Don't do something you don't like & don't experiment with things that are blatantly bad for you (i.e., smoking, drugs), but I think it's ok for you to spend your high school years keeping an open mind to other classmates and trends. That can only help you positively in the future.
     
  9. Never mind the cliche festival from these others, Seandq; just remember with your friend that she will express aspects of herself that are perfect examples of who you are, as well as who you are not.

    Freethinker rousing ain't like converting, it can take weeks or months before a friend realizes the breakthrough that you have, especially for herself. But she can still be a good friend, a kind of stable datum by which to tab in with the status quo. Which can be hilarious and tragic in my experience. It can also feel like all of your friends are suddenly babbling like they're all wearing dryers on their heads.

    Glad to meet you, sorry about all the junk posts. That's inappropiate in any help forum, same as cliche'-ese
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Wait...so you have no problem admitting you graduated 8th grade and are entering 9th grade?? And you don't know what to do??

    Why can't you be yourself and friends with this indie chick??? Personally, anyone who only watches movies made by a certain director is boring to me. WTF?? Why limit ones choices?? Fuck that...you like her...great hang out with her but don't change who you are to please her. That's just rediculous.
     
  11. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    :werd: to Coottie. Also, this girl is trying her very, very hardest to conform to a "style" somebody else created. I doubt even she knows who she is. If she's trying to force you to fit her mold, she's not worth being friends with, no matter how fun or interesting she may seem.
     
  12. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    When I was in highschool I had my own style that was a bit of grunge, goth, and hippie all into one. Its more fun to do whatever the fuck you want than fit into a single social group. You really don't want to get caught up in the highschool mindset that if someone doesn't fit in the same group as you then you and them can't get along.
     
  13. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    :werd: She really sounds like she is trying hard to be different, not herself. Fucking highschool is the worst thing in the world.
     
  14. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    or the best.
     
  15. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Be yourself. If others can't/won't accept the real you, then they aren't true friends :dunno:
     
  16. kackel champion

    kackel champion faces always are changing lies and disguise for th

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    do your thing man

    my whole object in hs was to be able to float to and from different social circles. having plenty of friends makes you a well rounded individual

    do what you do best and fuck anyone that disses you for who you are
     
  17. Seandq

    Seandq Usertext for Rent

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    I let A know that I did not intend on conforming to the Hipster style of dress and she was very receptive. She was appreciative and glad I was finding my own style.

    However, I picked up the Handbook and realized that what started out to be a good read and maybe some helpful advice turned out bad. The book goes on to insult things I enjoy, like sports bars and playing sports -- as well as certain things I do like working out and going to commercial restuarants.

    This isn't going to work out at all. Sure, I love hanging out and supporting an independent coffee shop or listening to indie music, but I also love watching baseball, playing football, hanging out with friends, listening to popular music, and eating at a chain restaurant.

    I don't know what my next step is..I think she'll be fine with it, but I feel like I've disappointed her by getting the book and then..not obeying it.
     
  18. Seandq

    Seandq Usertext for Rent

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    I don't want to conform to her ways. I want to be myself. It's just I don't know how to tell her that. And I know she'll be receptive and accepting, It's just I don't know how to put it across.
     
  19. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Why would you conform to "her" ways? Or alternatively, why not? Copy her slavishly for as long as it works (likely, not long).

    Then when you've tired of that, ditch it in favor of something else.
    The point being to get into the game and experience it. Not obsessively critique it from the sidelines until you have calculated and recalculated and formulated the optimal projection of "YOU-ness". What hogwash.

    Just release yourself from those self inflicted mental and social chains. Copy her. Don't copy her. Copy no one. Copy everyone. Who cares.

    Grade 8, 9, 10 etc is about making mistakes and becoming comfortable with a process of self-discovery. It, like life, is an iterative process, so get out there and BE.



    And if you insist on your present strategy of "just wanting to be yourself, but not knowing how to tell her that"...
    How about less telling and just be-ing. She has eyes. She can see well enough.

    Admit it. It's not that you "don't know how to tell her that". The real issue is you are afraid she will not like you if you do not conform. Right?
    Again, just BE.

    If she drops you because of the pants (or whatever) you choose....you have just received a good lesson there.
     

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