Kinda freaking out a bit..have an unusual issue

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tubachris85x, Dec 25, 2008.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Bah, this is a bit of a rant, but an explaination. In my personal past, I've had more luck finding girls that are actually into me...but not in person, through online...and happen to live across the country elsewhere :hsd:

    My first deal was with some chick from Michigan. I met her through some online chat thing for a tuba related forum (for music and shit, similar to how OT is). We'd continually spend hours talking to each other online, and then progressed into making phone calls and over time, she expressed her interests and the likes to me, I don't want to get too detailed about our convo's though :o. This was like when I was 15-16 or so

    Next girl, I met in person the first time, but she moved away. She was pretty blunt about her liking me, but this was while I was with my ex. After the break up, she continued talking to me, but was incredibly sexual, and was not afraid to talk. I havent talked to her in awhile, but she appears to have lost interest. I wasn't too interested anyways.

    Next girl is the one is sorta freaking me out. Go ahead and laugh, but I actually met her through Xbox live, while playing halo on my old roomate's xbox. We played together very routinley, and just talked to each other the whole time. A few months ago, my roomate moved out, taking the xbox with him, and thus losing contact. She however, recently found me on myspace, and we've been talking almost every night since, through text messages and myspace messages, etc. She has shown obvious interest in me, at first "friendzoned" me, but recently, I have come out of this state, and she is showing what you'd consider an indirect "relationship." I guess you can say, that we are just really close friends? But tonight was the first time I actually spoke to her over the phone in about 6 months..and if you know those clanky xbox mics, they really disrupt your real voice alot..

    I just got really spooked, when I spoke to her...she was speaking to me as if a girl would speak to her SO...and the fact that she was talking to me almost exactly like my ex did when I used to speak to her at night..it was just really freaky, and I almost came back to old tendancies or what have you. It was the little things that she'd do/say which were pretty much exactly what my ex would do. None of the other girls I mention ever spoke this way, so I actually had to hold myself back from saying things that were once a habbit in those situations..

    I dunno, I'm probably just freaking myself out from it. She's a really cool girl, the only one out of the three that I'd ever consider having a REAL relationship with, but we both understand that may never happen, at least not in the near future because of distance.

    Blarg...:hsd:
     
  2. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I know this sounds rude but you really do need to work on meeting women in person. I'm not opposed to online dating sites but I think it's more for people who have other things going on in life (kids). You can't keep getting interested in girls you meet online that live so far away because it stops you from developing relationships with women who live near you. Example being when you mentioned the girl you met in person who liked you but you were with your "ex" (who I assume was a girl who lived far away from you that you met online and you had a "LDR" with her).

    At least with online dating sites you have the ability to meet people in your area. If you're talking to people who live states away your chances of even seeing them more than once or twice are incredibly slim.
     
  3. fray

    fray New Member

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    I agree with crimson - you need to try to meet more people in real life. I think for the most part because these "online" relationships are not really progressing in most cases and because they are not really teaching you much about how to behave in a relationship.

    Now, about this girl from xbox, not really sure what's freaking you out about it. Is it how she was talking, or your response to it? I'm confused if you felt she was too personal (quit talking to her) or you felt scared by your lack of control over your own responses (it happens. I find when texting friends, I sometimes respond like I would with an so. Notice it and change it. No big deal.

    Now, do you know what xbox girl looks like? (I'm assuming yes, since you mentioned myspace.). Does she have non-myspace angle pics? Is she even anyone you'd be attracted to? What makes her so special that you'd hang up the potential for someone close that you could see for someone you hang out with on live? ...or just myspace now that the xbox is gone.
     
  4. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    As far as meeting women in real life, I try my best when I'm out. I'm not cooped up in my house like someone would think, it's just I guess I have no luck :dunno:

    My ex I met in an orchestra we played in. It turned into an LDR the last year because I had to move away for college
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    is this girl from xbox live anywhere near you geographically? If not, there's no point in pursuing it or even getting to the point of being spooked by what you guys say.

    The problem with meeting people online (and I've done it), is that you meet some girl who lives hours away...and then you spend every night talking to her instead of spending time with someone you can see in person.
     
  6. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    As for what she looks like, Yes I've seen many pics of her. She's not perfect, but then again, I'm not as well, and I find her fairly attractive, at least to me.

    It's not that I'd "hangup" on her at the moment. It's more of a mutual understanding that we just can't really do anything living 500 miles apart. Now, if we actually lived near each other, I can confidently say that there would definatly be something going on between us.

    Just something about me and her "click" more then then other girls, you know that feeling. In all honesty, I'd rather meet a local then just sit on this one I've been talking about.

    As for what's freaking me out, to put it simple terms, I felt as if I was talking directly to my ex, before we ever broke up, and that's what freaked me out
     
  7. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Geographically, I'm in north florida, she's in southern south carolina

    And your last statement, I understand what you mean, but I kept that in check :o
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    If things somehow work out with Xbox girl and you get married down the road you could probably get Microsoft to pay for the wedding if you told them how you met :eek3:
     
  9. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Sounds to me like you need to get off your ass and get outside more.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    :rofl: You would both have to sport x-box live tux and dress.
     
  11. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    You obviously didn't read my original post :rolleyes:
     
  12. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Actually I did... You need to meet people the real way. You say you've had more luck online, but from the sound of it, you have no luck online.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    so then, what? You're only chatting with this girl when you're at home checking your email or surfing the web?

    you're too far apart, realistically. If she's liking you, or you like her, you pretty much need to minimize contact with her. If you're both just friends or whatever, sure, talk in your downtime.

    But when you start to like someone you can't go see in person...it's pretty much time to be done.
     
  14. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Just in my downtime, really
     
  15. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    You're using the whole online dating thing as a crutch to supplement your weak social skills. The whole idea of having a "relationship" with a girl you've never met or interacted with is absurd.
     
  16. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Does she act extra cute? Or does she keep calling you baby? Maybe she wants something more or maybe she is using you for "pillow talk."

    If you want a relationship with her, instead of doing nothing one weekend, take an 8-10 hour train ride to see her. Who knows, maybe something will change in the near future that'll allow you two to be together. This is how OTers do it. Guy in TX leghumps girl in SC. A year later they're married. :rofl:
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  17. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    What part of this is online dating? :ugh:

    My social skills are fairly decent, that's not really the issue. I just hardly have any game with the girls locally, and I never meet these kinds of girls, except for maybe, one or two, all of which are, or were in relationships at the time.

    To quixote, she's usually the type of chick who talks like that generally to the people she interacts, or at least, from what I've observed. Its not only until lately, she's been really open and more personal about things with and towards me, of which I can't possibly imagine her doing the same to just anyone else..

    As for actually meeting her, we've only really joked about that in the past, but as much as I'd actually like to, I'm not really able to nor really feel it would be whole heartedly worth the time to go up there. Like I said, we both understand that we obviously can't do anything about it, so we are just staying really close friends. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, in the future, if things keep up or whatever, I may take the time to actually go ahead and meet her in person, other then that, I'd only take the time to meet her if I was passing through the area for whatever reason.

    There's one last thing that I need to make very clear, cause based on the posts, no one seems to understand THAT I'M NOT USING THIS AS A SO CALLED "CRUTCH" OR ONLINE DATING. THIS IS IN NO WAY HOLDING ME BACK FROM MY REAL SOCIAL LIFE, NOR IS MY SOCIAL LIFE LACKING. I JUST HAVE NO FUCKING GAME WITH THE LOCALS!
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Still think you are wasting your time.
     
  19. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I honestly don't see how it is if we are just talking to each other :hsughno: That's not interfering with my real social life. That other chick with the BF that actually hung out with me for the longest time, that was a waste of time, but this is not
     
  20. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So...what's the problem again?
     
  21. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    stop hiding behind your deficiencies and start addressing them.
     
  22. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Only cause you know me so well? :hsugh:

    To mattthom01, I honestly don't really know anymore. It was just a rant. I may just delete this thread, it's pointless, especially if ilvwhtgrls keeps up this argument
     
  23. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    This. Do it. Seriously. Or get a plane ticket. Or drive. Or hitch hike. Just get there and see what happens when you meet in person
     
  24. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    You seem like someone who is certain about uncertainty... or things that probably won't happen. The girl is 500 miles away which certainly (no pun intended) is an uncertain situation-- though you feel "confident" something would go happen if you were closer.

    Yet things that are easier to grasp (like meeting local people, having "game", etc.) you are uncertain what's going on.

    So the way I see it is you hide behind your social inhibitions with the excuse of being "certain" in situations that can't really be confirmed nor denied.

    Understand?

    It's common to feel this way if you have sort of an 'alter ego' to have elements from the 'lesser reality' compensate for shortcomings in your 'real life'

    Obviously OT and video games are a really solid crutch for people to gain a significance they otherwise are lacking in your 'real life'
     
  25. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I've actually started to consider going up there. It's just I'm in a position where I still rely on my parent's and whatever commission work I can for income. I'll be joining the national guard sometime soon, but can't yet cause I still have to lose the weight to be able to pass the body mass test. So I can't say when that will be, even then, I probably wouldnt have the funds until after summer


    I wouldn't necessarily go as far as saying that I have an "alter ego." Yes, I can sit here and act like someone completly different from myself, but about 90-95% I don't, I'm just not like that. If you ever see any of my threads in the main forum, for example, I post about all of my things and crap that I do and enjoy, fully aware that I'll just get slammed or made fun because of it. Why do I do it then? Cause I choose to be me regardless, and if anyone else wants to hate me for it, then it's their problem.

    In this case, I feel Ive been myself with her as I would with any other close friend I actually know in person. Uncertainty, yes, because I feel that even if I do go up there to meet her, that there is always a 50-50 chance of it either going really well or really bad, all dependant of expectations.

    As for my real social life, I just suck with girls, and I just dont know why. I go out to all the local clubs and resturants I can, I'm not a hermit. I've tried on many occasions to talk and or get to know girls, but I either just bore them to death or we just don't 'click.'

    I don't know if you know or not, but there was a chick that I was talking to for the longest time through an online dating website. We talked very regularly, and whatnot, thought everything was going great. We eventually met for the first time, and I *thought* it was going great. Turned out that she smoked weed. I tried to ignore it, or whatever, but she often would rather smoke then actually spend time with me. Whole weekends was blown because of her rather wanting to smoke. On top of that, she was really over playing "hard to get." She just over did it to the max. Overall, that was a severe waste of time, and she got pissed at me after I told her I was done with her.

    I don't really know why I can't do well with local girls, then again, the only ones I really interact with are college chicks, and more often then not, they all go for the douchebag type guys or whatever. It's so bad that my brother got me that Neil Strauss PUA book for christmas...My ex though was more of matter of circumstance and good timing on my part. That is the only time I have obviously succeeded. All in all, I just have no game. Meeting girls is not my problem now, it's a matter of actually getting one.
     

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