Hello my fellow offtopicers. Let me write some thoughts down and you tell me what you think, cuz I’m totally lost, confuse and not quite sure what to make of myself. I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life. On some levels I’m ok with that; I mean all the offers that I’ve gotten have never been so great. They’ve either been too horny (for my taste), too controlling, or too immature. In the past year, I’ve met a few possible potentials but age was always a drawback (they in their late 20‘s and me at 19)..that and me not knowing what their intentions were. The first one was a coworker. Tall, dark and handsome he was. Just seeing him working at his desk everyday made me smile. Every time he came by my workstation so did a surge of euphoria. The more I got to know him, the more I grew to like him. He is everything that I ever want in a man. He’s one of those good guys..you know..kind, compassionate, loving, and caring. He is perfect in every sense of the word. We went to lunch twice..I was only working there for three weeks…I had worked there the summer before and had just returned for xmas break. During the summer I didn’t talk to him much..but during xmas…there were a few flirtatious conversations..on our second luncheon, two days before my last day there, we exchanged numbers and talked about getting together so he could cook me his famous carne asada. On my last day there he didn’t even say bye to me. After making my rounds--saying bye to other coworkers--he was already gone. Now…I don’t know what’s going through his mind. Maybe I was just his office flirt, I don’t know--the thing is: I don’t think he’s that kind of man. Other scenarios that I’ve come up with are: 1) maybe after thinking about it he realize how big the age gap between us was (he 27, and I 19), 2) maybe he’s just shy, not sure what to say, or 3) maybe a different coworker (let’s call him Tony) told him a lie about me--at the same time Tony was trying to get me to date his friend which I went on a few dates with but had no interest in. Tony, himself, has a great crush on me, that’s a known fact. He’s told people around the office that we kissed before, which is so not true. So the idea of him tainting my crush’s head with lies is not farfetched. I hope that’s not the case. But yea..every since my last day there I’ve never heard from the guy again. It’s been 10 months now..and I still think of him. The weird thing is 3 months ago, I met another guy (let‘s call him Brian). He reminded me so much of my dreamy coworker lol. The minute I laid eyes on him I was totally drawn to him. I met him at school. The problem is he’s 30. Can you believe it?!?! Just my luck. But yea…we talked, connected, and exchanged contacts,. But when the class ended, it too ended. NOW…LET”S ANALYZE…in both cases they both made all the moves. They were the ones who initiated all the conversations, the ones to came to flirt with me every time they could, and they were first ones to make sure that we had each other’s contact info. I’m one of those people who don’t speak unless spoken to. I keep to myself. So it’s not like I pushed myself on them, you know. If they didn’t like me, I don’t think they would have flirted with me as much as they did. You know?? It’s just so frustrating not knowing how they felt. Maybe they just want to be friends..Well if that’s the case, that’s still no reason to not call me. They could just call to see what’s up, you know??? It’s been so long now, but I’m still lingering on the thought of him (my coworker--I like him a little bit more than the 2nd guy lol). Urgh…life sucks..Let me know what you think. I think about him everyday. It’s like I put him on a pedestal. I compare him to everyone who crosses my path. Which makes it impossible to let other guys in, because I’ve seen what I want in a man, and a part of me is just not willing to settle for anything less. So my question is: should a girl settle?? Or should she wait?? All good things come in time, right? Or is that wrong? Patience is a virtue??? I don’t know. Help! Another thing is..I don’t mind being single much to tell you the truth. I’m not ashamed. My friends make it a big deal sometimes that I’ve never kissed a guy, but this is what I think: the whole fuss about having a boyfriend and kissing a boy is so overrated. In our teen years it was cool to have a bf to kiss boys. And I think a lot of girls dated and kissed boys just so they can say that they did, you know…the way I see now, is I’ve waited this long…so I might as well wait longer to do it (kiss) someone I actually have feelings for you know..Not just anyone just to say that I have. And so now..I wait. For my Mr. right. I don’t know if he exists, but after meeting my coworker, I’m sure that he does exist. So I’m not all sad that my coworker hasn’t called, you now…I don’t regret meeting him. I don’t regret having to live everyday thinking about him, because meeting him only makes more hopeful..It assures me that there are still “good guys” in this world. BUT YEA…LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK. I KNOW I’VE RAMBLE A LOT--IT ONLY GOES TO SHOW HOW TRULY “LOST” I AM. I HAVE MORE TO SAY, BUT I REALLY DON’T WANT TO BORE YOU GUYS ANY MORE THAN I’VE HAD. SO THANKS FOR READING.