SRS kind of in a crisis

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MudRacer4x4, Mar 28, 2010.

  1. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    Last 8 months of my life have been hell.

    My GF left she moved out of her house and changed she left me for someone who is a piece of shit. This happened about 8 months ago wrecked my life. Started doing alot of drugs cleaned my bank accounts out dropped out of college for a semester. I've shaped up I'm not going to say i'm clean but i feel like I'm getting there. I still think about my ex gf everyday she wasn't a saint but I regret alot of stuff I did. I tried everything to be with her but she up until recently when I freaked out would say ya i'm leavin the other guy cause I want to be with you then i wouldn't hear from her so she was teasing me. I've hooked up with other girls since but I'm just not happy. I miss her 24/7 she was a country girl into trucks and cars like me I'm afraid I won't find that again.

    Thats probably what I think about the most but the second think that bothers the hell out of me is my career. Right now I'm in college for my AA but I have a math disability that is stopping me from graduation and my school even though i've had all a's except for math might not let me pass so I'm scared about that. I don't want to be 30 working at a gas station and I'm afraid thats whats going to happen. I'm 21 and I have no idea what I want to do. My mom and dad act like I can't be in a corperation and sit at a desk and that magically i'm suppose to create my own business so there really no help if anything my dad makes it seem like I can't be at his level.

    I have two major fears that get to me everyday first being alone. I did so much better in my life when I had a gf. Second not finding a career path.

    Any advice is helpful.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You should never go into a relationship with the 'expectation' that things will work out for you because you think you are 'special' , reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave any day, this is why you need to have a life of your own to live. Men who cling onto woman and then see the woman leaving, lock themselves up in a closet and cry(use drugs, alcohol ,sigarettes,whatever until after years they find out that a girl isn't worth destroying your own life for,until they can move on with their own life and quit all of their addictions) because they don't realise they shouldn't base their lives on a girl. You are yourself and no one else, no one can live your life for you, this is why you have to arrange your life by yourself and have a life of your own to begin with. Stop begging from help from others, and start building your own life by your own hands. When your relationship is at a dead end, the only thing you can do is turn around your car and head back to the main highway of life. You have to come to the realisation that this 'mean to be' stuff is nonsense and that you can't live a life that is based on support on others, you have to be your own support in that sense.

    You need to do what is right, study math till your brain comes out, and pursue your study and do what makes you move forward and life, meaning you only occupy yourself with things that are really relevant and important. Namely to come to the important conclusion that you come first, which means you have to save yourself first, and have a life of your own first, before you can invite someone else into your life.

    You don't have to be afraid of being alone, because its you who is in control of that, and it is you who has to step towards the people if you don't want to feel lonely. And working in a gas station isn't so bad, my bro did it, no problem. Its not a condemnation of life, if you worked in a gas station you wouldn't think half so bad on it as that you are doing now.

    There's life after death, don't worry about it. But its you who has to dig yourself out of the hole that you've dug for yourself.
     
  3. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    First thing you need to do, is move on from your ex. If it hasn't been abundantly clear from the past 8 months, it should be clear now. She is toying with your mind, giving you this hope that you are going to get back together when really she is just keeping you wrapped around her finger, unable to move on, and keeping you exactly where she wants you. in her back pocket. A fall guy for when her new relationship doesnt work out she will always have a few heart strings to pull and have herself a quick fuck buddy until she can find someone new. Meanwhile you are turning your life into a mess.

    You need to tell this bitch to fuck right off and never speak to her again. If she calls, you ignore it. Dont answer her texts, dont be her facebook friend, none of it. It's the exact attention she wants from you.

    Next, you need to stop looking for a long term relationship right now. You are in college. Your life hasn't even really started. You should be experimenting with girls, dating them casually to get a feel for the type of woman you can actually stand being with later on in life. For christ sake you are 21, plenty of time to find yourself a ice girl to settle down with, take it easy.

    Also, you gotta lighten up on how serious you take relationships in the first place. Look what happened last time some bitch broke up with you? Your life spiraled out of control, you lost all your money, started doing drugs, almost sacrificed your career. And for what? Some college hook up?

    Lastly, about the math. you are in COLLEGE. News flash, there are going to be difficult courses. Courses designed to challenge you, not just play to your strengths. If you are really a straight a student, you should know, that if you have a course like math that is difficult for you, then you need to buckle down and study. Study, study, study. Stuy until you are dreaming on long division and fractions. Study until you know the course so well they will offer you a job teaching it next year.


    Get your priorities straight. Right now you need to focus on your future, not some girlfriend who dumped you almost a year ago. relationships always make us feel better, but knowing the right time for the right relationship, makes them last longer.

    Also, everything Dark said was pretty spot on.
     
  4. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    What exactly is a math disability? Sounds like a bunch of BS to me.

    My ex left me 1 year ago. She was also into trucks and cars and I thought I would never get over her. It took me around 8 months before I finally decided to get on with my life. One day you will just get sick of missing her and you will have no choice but to just let go of the past. Hang in there, finish school. I'm also 21 years old and finishing up my A.S degree at the end of this year.
     
  5. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    hopefully ill get over it like you did. I know shes a real bitch i just blame myself maybe i wasnt supportive? I just lost alot in the last year. my brother moved(hes made no effort to talk to me and we were best friends), my uncle died, my friends moved, I lost a ton of people in a short period of time. My learning disability is very real. I have had an IEP and have been tested several times even at age 3. I feel extremely burned out. How did you find out what you wanted to do for your career? I'm still lost.
     
  6. gnostica

    gnostica New Member

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    :)

    This is a fear I can relate to, and that I've found out was unfounded. The "I don't think I'll ever find that again" fear.. is huge.

    I'll just tell you up-front that your fears are unfounded, but of course you won't really believe me and I understand that. I've been there, lots of us have been. Nothing I can say is gonna take away any pain you are in anyway I suppose.

    But there is someone out there, many people in fact (there's no "the one" in life after all, it's all about finding the most compatible people and picking one of 'em), who is gonna be "that" again. Maybe it will be a country girl into cars and trucks, or maybe it will be someone completely different but yet you are completely compatible with. But you will find "that" again, as in "A person you connect with."

    Important thing is to drop the standard. Your next girlfriend is not gonna be your last girlfriend and that's one thing you need to straighten up asap, otherwise you'll have a lot of trouble in future relationships. Your next girlfriend might be completely and totally different, and you might be afraid of that now... but the fact is, you could be totally in love with her, so remember that the future is a wide open space with lots of possibilities.

    I've been through hell and back with relationships.. and now I'm happily married. There's always another fish... it's cliche as fuck, but there really are always more fish in the damn sea.


    I wish I could advise you on your second problem, but.. I really can't. Fact is, I was like you. I'm 28 now but when I was 21 (or 18, or 16, or any other age in between) I had no clue what I wanted to do. I'm smart as a whip, I could have done anything with my life, but I have a severe anxiety condition that held me back from doing much with my life.

    So career-wise, my life is a dud on that level. Funny thing is, I don't really care, because my life? Is basically awesome because I made it awesome. Might not be making 6 figures, might be middle-class average, but I love my life and really that's all that matters to me.

    Whatever you do with your life? You gotta love living, at the very least. The rest is just gravy.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    YOU ARE 21 YEARS OLD.

    There is more to a relationship than liking trucks and being a "country girl" with a farm kid. Your relationship was horrendous. I had to read easily 20+ threads on why it was so horrible.

    Get over it. Get over her. You have a lot of life to live and many many more women to meet.
     
  8. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    Right now my plan is to be a firefighter. It's pretty fucked up, but I researched different career paths for years. I just wanted to find something that paid well, was adventurous, had good job security, was rewarding, didn't require long hours, hands on type of job, and had some prestige to it. Everywhere I looked there was always a major fucking drawback.

    Commercial Pilot- Good pay with experience, lots of traveling, prestige, limited bullshit interactions with co-workers. Only problem is that there is absolutely NO job security and your away from home a lot.

    Mechanic- I love working with my hands and fixing things. Only drawback is that I don't want to be breaking my back and getting my hands dirty every day. Fuck that shit i'll just keep it as a hobby.

    Learn a trade- Pay is good when your in a union. I really don't respect unions that much, they are all corrupt. Manual labor all day sucks cock and there isn't much prestige. Your co-workers are generally dumbasses.

    Pharmacist- Good pay, great job security, standard 45 hours work week. Only problem is that it's a mundane repetitive daily routine. I'd commit suicide in my 30's.

    Military- Good pay and job security. Only downside is that I really didn't want to be in the fucking military being "ordered" around all day.

    Major in biology/zoology and work in a park/zoo of some sort- I can actually see myself enjoying this career. Only real things that sucks cock about it is that you'd probably be pulling in a cool $30k/year. Fuck that.

    Major in business and work for a private company- Really nothing special here. I'd be just another corporate drone climbing the ladder doing meaningless work and constantly worrying about getting laid off.

    Work for yourself- It sounds great but MOST people who work for themselves generally put in 100 hours/week just to stay afloat. I'd get a hernia. I would love to do this but it would have to be something that I start on the side. If it shows potential then I will jump in with both feet.

    Lawyer- Unless you graduate from a top tier law school, you're never going to make 6 figures a year. If you really want to make money you have to work for yourself (see above). Most lawyers say that being an attorney is horrible. No thanks on this option.

    Engineer- Actually not bad of an option. They make good money and most engineers claim good job satisfaction. Good job security as well. Some downsides are that most engineers don't see a lot of action. They spend a lot of time on computers (which I hate) doing CAD drawings or whatever. Most of the better positions require at LEAST a masters degree nowadays too. I also don't like how most of the time you work with a team instead of by yourself. Otherwise this is option number 2 on my list of careers.

    Doctor- I would do it in a heartbeat if we were in the 1960's when doctors were actually respected and paid better. After 8 years of busting my ass in school and 3-7 years of residency I do NOT want to be putting in 100 hours/week and fighting with asinine insurance companies who think they know better than me. 50% of doctors say they would pick a different profession if they could.

    Of course there are plenty of other potential careers out there, but these are just the main ones I was considering. Then my older brother suggested becoming a firefighter. Somehow that option evaded me all those years of doing research (Don't ask me how, I really have no clue how this could have happened). After doing research on the career I found it to be the best of everything with just a few of the bad things. In more populated areas, firefighters get paid awesome ($80k/year +). Firefighters have the BEST job security and their work is very personally rewarding. There is no routine either, as every day is different. They work an awesome schedule with around 20 days off per month. You can retire after 20 years. Really the only bad things about being a firefighter (to me at least) are that you have a lot of interaction with co-workers (yuck), but if you work in the right town you are all usually too busy to sit around yapping about bullshit. Getting calls at 3am must also suck when your trying to sleep. Being in a union is something I will have to learn to live with. I also don't like the para-military structure but I can deal with it. Some small quirks but nothing too serious to me.

    So I just decided on being a firefighter because I literally sat down and weighed out ALL my options and this one definitely is the best choice for me. It's got some bad aspects to it, but there are really no MAJOR drawbacks like the other options have. I suggest you sit down and research the different careers like a maniac until you find something you can see yourself doing.

    Remember, all those strengths and weaknesses that I listed are just from MY perspective. I don't like small talk interactions with co-workers but maybe you do. Make your own list according to what you want/don't want from a job.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2010

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