SRS Kind of a different situation the asylum is used to...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by driftwell, Sep 1, 2005.

  1. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    Well at least to my knowledge..

    Okay so I bought a bike a couple months ago... and its the best thing i've ever done. Riding is soooo relaxing and a complete stress relief. When I'm on it... I'm in my own, care-free world.

    Problems is my family preaches against bikes. So i kinda had to buy it behind their backs (i'm 22 BTW... still living at home). My dad found out when the title came to my house.... but my mom still doesn't know. My dad was "okay" with it as he knows I'm a pretty responsible guy. My mom on the other hand freaked out and started trippin on me for simply taking the MSF course (motorcycle safety course). None of my other family members know about the bike... except for cousins.

    Well... yesterday my cousin whom I haven't seen in a couple of years, got into a bike accident and is pretty much in a near-full body cast. He had to have a few fingers amputated and some other severe damage. I don't know the exact cause of the accident... but the bottom line is that it happened.

    Now my dad is completely against me having a bike and I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. I fully understand and comprehend the dangers of riding a bike... and its a risk I'm willing to accept. I can get into my whole philosophy of "you only live once" here but it would be off-topic...

    I'm just worried that this bike will get inbetween me and the parents... I don't want to sell it... and if they somehow forced me to... I would probably get depressed. SOmething I really don't want to experience again (I've had enough of that when my dad had cancer).

    I would have thought that my dad, of all people, would understand that life's too short to NOT do the things you want.

    But I dunno...

    What do you guys think?
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Huh, this is right up my alley, so to speak....

    Can you control yourself? You sound like a fairly responsible guy.
    You're also 22, and I'm sure your parents know your character better than us here on Asylum.

    You're right, life IS too short to live it timidly or with regrets.
    However, living life minus a few fingers or a leg or in a wheelchair, well, that's not how I intend to spend my years, either.

    Now before you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been riding for about 15 years. I've had tons of bikes, couple of liter bikes, and my current ride is a 2005 R1.

    Who are your riding buddies? Do they like to crank it in the corners? Do they ride beyond their skill level?

    You just to have to accept that you WILL get in over your head several times. A few of these will be literally life-or-death, and it will happen in the blink of an eye. You'll realize it with only enough time to say "Oh SHIT!!!"

    If you're lucky, you get out of it scott-free or minor rashing.
    If you're not, you contact a telephone pole and forfeit your right leg.

    But it is fun, no doubt about it. The choice is yours.
    MSF courses are a good idea, but it's only step 1 of about 100 steps.

    Basically, I'm saying that you are 22. Old enough to chart the course of your own life, and it's not a matter of mommy & daddy won't let me ride. Maybe when you were 6. But you're not anymore.

    YOU have to decide what is right and appropriate for your life. If you lose some fingers, those are YOUR fingers. If you lose a leg, that's YOUR leg. YOU have to live with the consequences, not your mum & dad.

    If you can ride within your limits,
    if you can accept that the full responsibility starts and ends with you (its YOUR hand on the throttle, and no one else's),
    if you can back off even when all your friends disappear around that blind left-hander,

    then demonstrate to your parents you are responsible and have decided to continue riding.

    This is your life. Even if your mother & father were overjoyed that you ride, you need to evaluate yourself, your limits, your life.
    This decision rests with you. Not them.
     
  3. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    you ride?!?!?! I don't mean that in a bad way... just surprised...

    I have riding buddies that range from your typical rider who can't keep the front wheel down, to the "rider who rides like he has a 35mph speed limiter". I have had my moments where I got wayyy over my head and managed well... and I know its only a matter of time before i run into a situation that I can't manage. I'm prepared to accept something like that happening. Just last night, as a matter of fact, I went down in a stupid 5 mph turn (another bike jumped in front of me while I had my bike at full turn... in an attempt to not hit the other bike... i braked and the bike instantly just dropped in the directin of the turn).

    I just don't want to deal with the parents... This is something that I really enjoy and I would be really depressed if I had to give it up.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    That is a bad accident. Putting it down in a 5mph turn?
    Who was this other bike that went in front of you? Riding buddy of yours?

    Riding sport bikes is not like goofing around with your friends on mountain bikes in a grassy meadow.

    5mph sounds like you guys were in a parking lot or something? That's a pretty minor spill, but it shows you were kinda riding on autopilot without being mindful of your surroundings.

    Important lesson #1: Don't panic. Ever. EVER.
    Important lesson #2: Grabbing a huge handful of brake is almost never the right thing to do.
    Important lesson #3: Usually when faced with braking or gassing it, gassing it is the correct choice. Avoidance is always preferable to just stopping dead in your tracks.

    Better sign up for MSF. Your parents have your best interests at heart.
    Its up to you to demonstrate the maturity to help allay their fears. But only YOU know if you're really that mature and cool-headed, or if you just fooled your parents.

    Like I said, it's YOUR neck out there. Safeguard yourself first. Parents...ought to be a distant second here.
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Johan said what needed to be said here and I agree...the main thing is that you know yourself. Are you capable of holding back when all your riding friends go off peeling? Can you stay calm when an ass cuts you off too close on the highway?

    After 15+ years on the road I can look back at situations I am glad I had some metal around to protect me a little bit....I've done some wreckless driving in my life because I was young and stupid, DESPITE the fact I felt I was old enough to handle myself then.

    As much as I want a bike too....but I fear I don't have the temperment to handle it.

    So, put yourself through that kind of scrutiny to make your own decisions. Everyone is ultimately just looking out for you...
     
  6. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    I've already taken my MSF and am licensed.

    Yea we were in a parking lot, parking actually. My friend pulled out slightly to re-align his bike looking the other way.... and i grabbed too much brake (i prolly could have braked less and still not hit his bike).... it was a very minor spill. Only a slight blemish to my crank case cover... other than that... i held the bike from going completely on its side and even managed to pick it up by myself (i only weight 130lbs and 5'4")... i guess from the adrenaline.

    I would say that I'm a pretty calm/"cool" rider. And plenty of my buddies bone out and pop wheelies... and though I speed up... I never try to exceed my own abilities. The only place I plan to push myself is at the track.

    See my problem here isn't whether or not I'm afraid for the worse, or taking a spill... (that just comes with the territory)... its going against my parents' wishes. And its a problem because i REALLY enjoy riding.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Well your dad probably DOES understand that life is too short. But equally so (especially with his cancer) I'm sure he's not eager to have you cut your life short unnaturally. Right? We can agree on that, right?

    I mean, life your life to the fullest. Which also means living a good long life filled with all sorts of great things, great people, great memories. A beautiful wife, wonderful children, a glorious sunrise holding your newborn daughter in your arms, etc etc

    So from his perspective...all of THAT compared to the dangerous thrills of zipping around on your bike. Probably no contest there.

    You CAN see his perspective, right? Because if you're going to argue against it, if you're going to successfully counter it, you need to understand it first.

    You can either hide it from them, which I do not recommend, or you can demonstrate how safe you are, how responsible you are, how totally on the ball you are.

    You are going to have to convince them that, for you, because of your alertness, your good attitude and your determination, that riding is not the automatic death sentence they currently believe it to be.

    There's no way around it, unless you just hide from them. Which is pretty plainly stupid (even though a lot of people do it).

    Want to be taken seriously as a man? Here's your first challenge.

    And here's a pic to give you something to shoot for. (its an R1)
    [​IMG]
     
  8. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Are you able to carry passengers? Thought about taking your dad for a ride?
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    At his current skill level, I'd recommend against taking his dad for a ride.

    No disrespect, but you're still a new rider, and if you're at all wobbly....taking dad for a spin isn't going to be confidence inspiring. And he's going to become extra concerned...

    You're probably fine by yourself, but at your weight/height (130lbs, 5'4") adding a passenger on the back is going to make low-speed maneuvers very difficult. (I'm guessing daddy-o is larger and heavier than you?)

    Still...good luck.
     
  10. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    You know more about bikes than me :)

    My brother got a bike and I would cringe at the sight of any bike accident. Once I passed a crash scene and the bike rider had the same helmet as my brother. I was in a wreck.

    The bike got stolen a few months later and the whole family was relieved
     
  11. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    I'm pretty much in the same exact boat :) Going against the parents wishes isn't always the best thing to do... you could always hold off until later to ride. Do you still live at home? Are you currently hiding the bike? Kinda a PITA don't you think? Maybe it would be in everyone's best interest to ride later in a few years after you move away/out or something?

    But damn those new raven black R1/R6's are so hot. :eek3:
     
  12. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    yes i completely understand my dad's (parents point of view/concerns).

    I do still live at home, though I do pay a part of the mortgage since my dad no longer works. So I definately pull my own weight around the house. Unfortunately the bike is at a friend's house for the time being. I really do want to take it home... but my dad suggests that I have a talk to my mom before I do.... otherwise she'll have a heart attack if she's a bike in the garage.

    I am definately still too much of a newb rider to be carrying passengers.

    My dad told me himself... he's not worried about me... he's worried about other people in the street. His arguement is that, yes I'm at the same risk of getting into an accident in the streets whether or not i'm on a bike... BUT his point is that I can minimize injury to myself IF i'm in a CAR versus a bike.

    My counter to that (haven't really had a chance to make a counter though), is that ever since I started riding, and especially after MSF, I've learned to take precautions to avoid accidents in the first place. ANd that for those unavoidable situations, bikes can manuever in ways that cars cannot.

    But its hard to counter his point. If I can minimize the risk of injury... why don't I.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2005
  13. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    In the end it is your risk to take, not theirs. There is something to be said for the freedom of a bike vs. the lack of that in a car. However, you're going to need to quantify that somehow when defending your opinion to your parents.

    If you considered giving up your bike for now while you're living at home, is there something else you can do that would offer you the same sense of freedom? The same thrills? If not, you have an answer there. If you plan on living at home for quite some time (since you're paying part of the mortgage, after all...) then it would be unfair of your parents to restrict you... but they're only doing it because they love you and don't want to see you hurt or killed. Whether the fault of an accident is yours or not, you're still going to come out the loser in most of them when you're on a bike.
     
  14. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    This is definately true.

    There is 1 other thing that I do get the same kind of thrills... but it would mean that I can only do it at a track in a controlled environment.... (drifting... hence the name :)) but it was such a money pit with always buying tires and what not that I got out of the scene. Plus the fact that it costs money to go on a track...

    And if that's the case... it would be no different from having the bike track only... which sucks imo.

    Ehh I dunno... i really only ride for recreationaly purposes. We ride in groups and watch out for each other and what not.
     
  15. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    This is the kinda mentality that you SHOULDN'T have riding IMO... accidents are accidents, theres no such thing as taking precautions for a drunk driver running a red light smashing into you at an intersection...
     
  16. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Im going to speak against the bike. Its not far from my home, heck my neighbour is in a wheelchair for the rest of his life due to a bike, and my cousin crashed a couple of times too. What is more convincing i had a friend who's uncle worked at the police, and he says that relatively most deadly car crashes don't come from cars but from bikes, and that the misery that follows on them is untangible, you see with a bike you are totally unsufficient protected no matter how much helmets you put on. I can talk along with that because i have been in a scooter accident, hey not as fast but even at low speed i was so totally battered and bruised when i hit the street, so im going along with your parents. Especially because this bike has already devided your family, it hasn't done anything good for you or your loved ones. Family first, so sorry but the bike has got to go.
     
  17. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Every friend I know who's ridden bikes have tasted gravel at some point...and these are pretty responsible bike riders who have taken the MSF courses as well. One of them told me once "It's not IF you get in an accident, it's WHEN you get in one and how you handle it"

    One of my friends got in one so bad he lost conciousness...ended up in rehab for about 6 months.

    I love bikes.... I don't deny I want one really bad too. But look at it from the side of your loved ones...they just don't want you putting yourself in that risk.
     

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