SRS Kill me v.Another Failed Attempt

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LancerV, Apr 5, 2005.

  1. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    I have wanted to talk to you, but you may not want to hear it. Damnit I really didnt want to do this in an email. I really have enjoyed talking to you and the movie was fun. William, I'm not interested in you that way. I would still like to have you as a friend. I'm sorry I had to say it like this; I can't let you go on thinking the wrong thing. I cannont let you or anyone else change, just to make me happy. And I refuse to hurt you (or myself) to fit some norm and do what others expect of me. You are a great guy and you will find someone who truely appreciates it. I'm sorry you didn't find it in me.

    :wtc: :wtc: :wtc:

    Im like 0-20 now :wtc:
     
  2. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    Well, you know what they say, there are more fish in the sea. Eventually you will find someone that feels the same way about you as you do about them. Maybe you should try changing the way you approach girls and pursue them. You might be a victim of the friend zone, which would cause problems. Any insight you can give us on how you treat the women you are interested in? Also, don't take on a negative attitude, girls can sense that kind of thing in you. Stay confident despite the "losses".
     
  3. CopenKagan

    CopenKagan OT Supporter

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    I feel you, man. I have been divorced for about 2-1/2 years and I have gotten into the friend zone with who knows how many girls.

    I have faith that I will someday meet the person I am meant to be with and she will feel the same twoards me. You will do likewise. Someday you will meet someone who you are absolutely nuts about and she wont want to ever have you as anything but her man.

    :hs:
     
  4. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    Yea but almost every girl I meet ends up saying the same stuff. Im just nice to them, maybe I should try being an asshole :ugh:

    Nothing like a kick in the balls before typing a 5page paper :wtc:
     
  5. Pimpolo

    Pimpolo New Member

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    I agree w/ this statement. Im also in the same boat as well. I've gone out of my way on more than several occasions(sp) trying to find something that isn't there. Its hurts a little when you realize your feelings aren't being reciprocated (or your kindness is simply being used), but before you know it you'll be right back out there enjoying yourself w/ someone worth your time.

    Good luck!:hs:
     
  6. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    You can't change who you are. If you aren't naturally a bit of an asshole, I think it will be difficult to be that person. However, you can be less nice to them, while still not being an asshole. You know, don't pay attention to every move they make, pretend you don't care as much. Or, better yet, actually don't care as much. Good luck on the paper, it should actually help get your mind off things.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    yeah that's about it, right there. There's lots of people who are embittered though one sad experience or another. Sometimes a whole string of bad experiences. Keep in mind you can learn from these experiences and use them to understand other people and mostly YOURSELF better.

    Now having said that, even the most hardened lovephobic hater will start acting like an addled schoolboy when you meet that special person. Now, I'm not talking about the target of some lust induced obsession over some hottie who hardly knows you're alive.

    I'm talking about a special person that you click with like no one else, who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. It is at that moment that all that previous pain and loneliness and hating and self-doubt fall away. It is then that you finally know real love and realize how foolish all those "who needs girls" and "ALL girls are whores, I am done with them" posts were.

    Believe in yourself.
     
  8. Captain Amazing

    Captain Amazing OT Supporter

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    We're in the same boat. My problem is that I am one ugly person who sucks at everything I do. Oh, I am also too nice and nice guys finish last unless they are hot/rich. :wtc:
     
  9. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    Sounds exactly like me. :wtc:
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I hate to say it but you should try being an asshole. Not to become an asshole but to just explore some new experiences in order to further form your personality. Sometimes guys that are too nice are just well...incomplete.
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    dude, I don't know whether to laugh or what, but we're in the same boat. I've been through enough shit in my life that I've been kinda propelled past where most girls my age are at. Most girls my age are lookin to party and have fun, (and while I do want to do that too) I don't want to waste time with someone I don't think I could love and spend the rest of my life with.

    To make matters worse, I'm kind and respectful. On a strictly biological level, this does not work for women. The man is supposed to be strong and confident; a leader. Being sensitive basically ensures you a ticket to the bottom of the pack.

    That said, it's not a good idea to be a complete prick either. And, while I can't give perfect advice on how to fix this, seeing as I'm still working on it, what I do know is, you have to put yourself first in the relationship, until it's developed to the point where she can see your vulnerabilities and not lose the attraction. (we're talkin months here)

    So, don't be a dick, but at the same time, don't be all over her needs and trying to take care of her. If you're like me, it's in your nature to want to make her happy and see her needs taken care of, but, you'll have to fight that urge for the time being.

    After enough time has passed, and love has blossomed, then you can start letting your true self shine, and then she'll never want to let you go.

    Sorry, I can't offer much more, and I know you probably hate hearing 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' as much as I do.

    This girl's a lost cause, once you're in friendsville,you're stuck there. Keep her as a friend, only if you can actually give up all interest in anything more and it's not gonna hurt you to see her with other guys, and have her come to you with guy troubles.

    :x: I'm pullin for ya.
     
  12. yoV6cam

    yoV6cam Big AL "Boss of The Bosses"

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    dont have to be an asshole, just let them know early you are interested in them as more than a friend. preferably in the first 2 weeks of knowing them.
     
  13. shankems2000

    shankems2000 If you read everybody's user text and location, yo

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    Yes, there is a such thing as being too nice. I gave this advice to a couple other people in here. Ignore her a little, act as if you have too much going on to bother with her, tease her about her imperfections, wrestle and play fight with her. Make her THINK that she has to work for your acceptance and not the other way around. You can't overdo this. I know it may seem a bit harsh but shit, I too know what it's like to be thrown into friend zone, so I did what I had to to keep that shit from happening.

    Good Luck next time man.
     
  14. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    best advice in this thread. :bigthumb:


    btw keep the girl as a friend so you can meet other girls through her.
     
  15. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i just got dumped 2 weeks before i need to take 12 tests that determine whether the last 4 years of my life were a complete waste of time or not :wtc:
     
  16. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Being 0-20 is better than being 0-0, keep at it you'll find someone you connect with
     

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