Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by VulgarTheClown, Nov 6, 2009.
I kind of like the sound of 'tightly fight'
Pretty good though I don't like the random floating sentence about only discussing the four main card fights.
If you feel the need to call that out, just add it to the end of a previous paragraph. Something like 'In order to stay relevant to the fights that will actually be aired, I will break down the 4 matches on the main card' or something.
nice, didnt know you write. What site is this for?
a local paper called Beach Front News. www.beachfrontnews.com
I think the Fedor Vs Rogers section might be a little short. To me it says enough, but to the uneducated.... do I need to rattle off names etc??
run it through spell check, son
began to note some grammar/punctuation, but got tired midway
to be completely honest, it read very pedestrian. also, you didn't really go into detail about these matchups, but rather gave a synopsis of each fighter and then your prediction. i suggest going more into detail of how you think it'll go down and why
Awkward sentence structure in your intro. Lot's of spelling mistakes (which you're probably aware of).
Also, this type of article shouldn't be a "you" article imo.
Isn't this like his fourth fight in USA?
Yea.. I thought it was his third. Coleman, Sylvia, Arlovski, and now Rogers.
Ben, I'd be more worried about your diet.
I hope you're better at losing weight than you are at writing.
I hope that hasn't gone past your editor yet
thats what sherdog says.
this was all pre-editor
I know there are spelling mistakes
That's good. If it already had been edited, you need a new editor
either way, good job!
i don't care for your writing style, but that's just a personal preference. as i said, it seemed very pedestrian...kinda like how grade schoolers start off reserach papers with "The Webster Dictionary defines _____ as...."
I'm writing in a newspaper circulated mostly in bars...... think about it
In that case, use smaller words.
understood. it wasn't poorly written, but it just didn't seen very professional is all. it kind of read like a meh blog
still, i would still break down the matchups rather than breakdown the individuals. it's be educational for the casual and the experienced fan
Fedor hurt black man with boom boom fists