MMA Just wrote an article for this saturday's strikeforce

Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by VulgarTheClown, Nov 6, 2009.

  1. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    Opinions?

     
  2. GreatDeceiver

    GreatDeceiver OT Supporter

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    I kind of like the sound of 'tightly fight'
     
  3. GreatDeceiver

    GreatDeceiver OT Supporter

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    Pretty good though I don't like the random floating sentence about only discussing the four main card fights.

    If you feel the need to call that out, just add it to the end of a previous paragraph. Something like 'In order to stay relevant to the fights that will actually be aired, I will break down the 4 matches on the main card' or something.
     
  4. Kuet

    Kuet New Member

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    nice, didnt know you write. What site is this for?
     
  5. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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  6. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    I think the Fedor Vs Rogers section might be a little short. To me it says enough, but to the uneducated.... do I need to rattle off names etc??
     
  7. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    run it through spell check, son
     
  8. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    began to note some grammar/punctuation, but got tired midway :o

    to be completely honest, it read very pedestrian. also, you didn't really go into detail about these matchups, but rather gave a synopsis of each fighter and then your prediction. i suggest going more into detail of how you think it'll go down and why
     
  9. melted_one

    melted_one New Member

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    Awkward sentence structure in your intro. Lot's of spelling mistakes (which you're probably aware of).

    Also, this type of article shouldn't be a "you" article imo. :o
     
  10. Mr. Fahrenheit

    Mr. Fahrenheit Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior g OT Supporter

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    Isn't this like his fourth fight in USA?
     
  11. Antigeek

    Antigeek Who Dat!

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    Yea.. I thought it was his third. Coleman, Sylvia, Arlovski, and now Rogers.
     
  12. Antigeek

    Antigeek Who Dat!

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    Ben, I'd be more worried about your diet.
     
  13. SCirone

    SCirone Moderator

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

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    I hope you're better at losing weight than you are at writing.
     
  15. kilian

    kilian You've got quite a treasure there in that Horadric OT Supporter

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    atmosphere's post.
     
  16. CyberEye

    CyberEye Oh god, the voices

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    :werd: I hope that hasn't gone past your editor yet
     
  17. El Rudo

    El Rudo The Borinqueneers

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    .
     
  18. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    thats what sherdog says.
     
  19. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    this was all pre-editor

    I know there are spelling mistakes
     
  20. CyberEye

    CyberEye Oh god, the voices

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    That's good. If it already had been edited, you need a new editor :rofl:

    either way, good job!
     
  21. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    gotcha.

    i don't care for your writing style, but that's just a personal preference. as i said, it seemed very pedestrian...kinda like how grade schoolers start off reserach papers with "The Webster Dictionary defines _____ as...."
     
  22. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    I'm writing in a newspaper circulated mostly in bars...... think about it
     
  23. Antigeek

    Antigeek Who Dat!

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    In that case, use smaller words.
     
  24. Atmosphere

    Atmosphere PURPLE DREAM

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    understood. it wasn't poorly written, but it just didn't seen very professional is all. it kind of read like a meh blog :dunno:

    still, i would still break down the matchups rather than breakdown the individuals. it's be educational for the casual and the experienced fan
    Fedor hurt black man with boom boom fists
     
  25. LOLSTi

    LOLSTi DTOM

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    :mamoru:
     

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