Just wanted to see everyone's opinion on this v.seeing an ex.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years back in December 2007. We didn't talk/see each other for about a month after that, but when we broke up we agreed to be on good terms and try to stay friends.

    Well, we've been seeing each other since then. Whenever I am home we hang out and usually hook up (everything but sex). She's come to visit her friends here in Ann Arbor and has hooked up with me then as well.

    We've talked about getting back together, but basically agreed it would not be a good idea to get back into a serious relationship especially since she lives for a semester in Florida come September.

    So basically, we see each other and hookup, but we're free to see other people, although it seems that hasn't happened much. She's given me the "I like seeing you, but if some guy asks me out on a date I want to be able to go."

    So this isn't very healthy eh? Should I just take it for what it is, basically an easy hookup?
     
  2. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    looks like more of a potential friend with benefits except it will lead to getting attached sicne she was and always will be an ex and someone you cared about.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So basically she's just a fuck buddy.

    As long as no one's feelings are getting hurt and it's put out there in the open by both of you that you don't want an actual relationship then I don't see the problem.

    It sounds to me though that it obviously bothers you a little bit. If you are comfortable just having a friendly/sexual relationship with her and continue to see other woman (having no real emotional attachment to the ex) then I say go for it! BUT, if you are having felings for her still then you need to get out. You will never get over this girl if you continue to talk and see her every so often.

    To get over someone you need to cut them out of your life completely.
     
  4. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I think it's a bad idea to have an ex as a fuck buddy.. In most friends with benefits relationships someone always starts to care a little more than the other, and if it's an ex all those old feelings will come back, and basically you're just setting yourself up for disaster.

    Either cut out the sex and keep her as a friend or continue to lead her on with sex and ruin things forever.
     
  5. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    A2 crew :wavey:
     
  6. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    wassup
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So, she's just a cuddlebuddy/someone to fool around with.

    She won't even have sex with you.

    Why would you get in a relationship with her? She's clearly just using you, you're using her, but you're not even having sex.

    Keep her on the phone list for when you want a bj/handjob/feel like playing with some boobs, but for the love of god, don't get in a relationship with her.
     
  8. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    dude your better than that. Go find someone new. It didnt work with her for a reason. That reason wont change. It will come back up AGAIN IF YOUR FOOLISH enough to date her AGAIN. Move on and tell her to fuck off.
     
  9. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Just pound the toddler tunnel and be happy with the free ass....
     
  10. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I think it's fine. My ex and I still do and it's wonderful. Just be careful. They are ex's for a reason.
     
  11. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    id say keep on with what youre doing, as long as you know that it will probably turn into a disaster......
     
  12. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I don't believe it always turns into disaster. You just need to be honest with eachother.
     
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    As long as you do not have feelings for her or expect something more of this (a relationship eventually) then keep at it.

    After a long-term relationship, those "hookups" always seem to become complicated at some point whether it be one person falling for the other again or one person finding someone to date and leaving the other feeling deserted.

    If you're having fun it's all good. If you start having feelings for her or think you might get pissed if another dude entered the scene then ABORT.
     
  14. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    We both still have feelings for one another, I don't think that'll ever change. We never had a clean break which makes this a lot more complicated.

    No, I wouldn't want her to be with anyone else, but at the same time, it is not fair to say that it's fine for me to find other people, but she must only be with me.

    We've argued about this situation a lot. I think on a different level and need to know that I am missed or at least thought about, I can't be left to assume such things. I've bitched at her for it, the notion that I seem to call or text or w/e (just in general try to keep contact with her) whereas she doesn't seem to make that initiative.

    I still do the majority of the work but it doesn't seem to be bothering me as much and she's getting better about it. For instance, Saturday she had a party to go to. Yesterday I called her to see how it went, she was at work. She texted me back saying it was fun. I still wanted to talk to her so I just told her to give me a call later after dinner w/ her father. She never called but texted me at around 1am saying "Hey, I'm about to go to sleep but we'll talk tomorrow. I just wanted to say hi and good night."

    I get the feeling she definitely wants to make this work and is trying her best..

    Before anyone says anything about her using me, while that may be true, I know she isn't hooking up with random people...reason is that she is very allergic to a lot of products and that alone makes it impossible for her to do that.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    After your update of details...move on. You're only holding yourself back from moving on from her and actually finding someone you really work with.
     
  16. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    Here's an honest view. No, she doesn't want to make it work. She is putting in minimal effort to keep you around because you are her security blanket. Girls doesn't feel safe or secure with themselves when they don't have a guy there for them. You are just "ok" for her now but she wants somebody different or better. She may not looking but if a guy caught her eyes, you are gone.
     
  17. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I understand all of your points. Thing is, I like the easy hookup..

    I can't say that having her on the side has hindered me looking for other women.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It hasn't YET. But if you both still have feelings for each other, it could very easily go the path of "Oh, I'll just give her a call and go out with her rather than going out with someone else. I already know her, and and can sex her". After a little while of that, you'll be back together...and then you'll realize why you broke up in the first place.

    We get it, you're not actually gonna DO what we are suggesting. So, go, do your thing, and we'll be here for you when it ends badly.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Which is healthier:

    1. A girl who has the OPTION of taking a date with another man, but refuses to because she compares him disfavorably to you?
    2. Or, a girl whose reason for refusing a date with another man is because she made an agreement about it.

    If you like to create the illusion of a safe shelter for your emotions, by creating a monogamy contract "protecting" yourselves from outside influence, then the 2nd option is healthier for you.

    I've been in both types of relationships, and for me, a verbal contract is not just logically inferior to non-proprietary love. It is also poisonous to the emotional well being of either party.
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    From one broly to another.... You're going to get hurt man.

    That is almost EXACTLY how things were with my ex.... whom I did get back together with, and how did end up dumping me again.

    I know precisely how you feel. You love her/care about her and while you guys are not actually dating you would rather have the hook up and feeling of someone there than not have her at all.
    You need to know that she thinks about you the way you think about her, you need to know that she misses you as much as you miss her, you need to know she thinks about getting back together as much as you do.

    Honestly though, she is attempting to do what a lot of girls her age want... what my ex tried to pull with me. She wants to have the security blanket of a steady guy that cares deeply for her, but she wants to live the single lifestyle at the same time.

    Getting back together would be a big mistake, and even carrying on this situation right now is going to get you hurt bro. Would you rather end it yourself and move past it all, or get blind sided by her saying out of nowhere that it needs to stop or she found another dude.
     
  21. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I just want it to be August already so she leaves for Florida because then I won't have to deal with this.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    WTF?

    If you don't want to deal with this, you don't have to wait.

    Cut off contact with her.

    Stop seeing her. Stop calling her. Block her IM and email. Forget she exists, if she calls you, don't answer.
     
  23. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    But I want the easy poon :(

    Thing is, I like seeing her, and had we not been dating before, this would be okay.

    fuck, I bet I'm not making any sense.
     
  24. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    I hate to say this man but I'm with DTR rex on this one. I had an ex exactly like his and yours is sounding exactly like this too. I can't explain it any better than he did. It sucks being alone for a bit but in the end its better for you. An easy lay is not worth the potential emotional problems it may give you. Plenty of women out there.
     
  25. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    the fact that you still have feelings for each other makes this a horrible idea. it might be ok for now, but eventually, one of you will start to want more and it will end badly. if you are prepared for that, have fun. if not, then just get out now. you say you are staying with her cause its an easy hook up....but in reality, there are pleanty of other girls who could fill that spot and who are not already an ex
     

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