SRS Just turned 19 and feel shittier than evar!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Panoptimist, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Slept til 2 today. Woke up and blasted Burritos by Sublime and some faggot down the hall tried to match my shit with Avril Lavigne on his shitty PC speakers. Seriously?

    I didn't do jack shit last night. I'm in college and couldn't even find a party on my birthday. We showed up at some sketch party but the cops rolled in right in front of us.

    Been living a pretty shitty life cycle. Don't eat too well, the cafeteria food here is shit. Don't really give a shit about any body, I'm very friendly and sociable but deep down I have social anxiety problems. Ultimately, I feel very little compassion and association for and with most of society. I rely on interpersonal relationships with people.

    I can't seem to meet a girl for some reason which is really causing me to doubt myself. Like I said, I don't really party (don't at all). The finest girls I see are in the library. I swear that's the best place to meet them, but the library isn't exactly the best place. I don't put out a lot of effort anyway, for the majority of the ones I meet are fucking dumb drunks anyway. Hooked up with a girl last semester, and she started liking me for a period I guess, but just in the week or two that we were close, I learned quickly that I did not want to pursue the relationship furthur.

    I don't do a whole lot. Started to get a gym routine down, but I can't seem to get into it by myself, and my buddies don't have any motivation to go.

    It's like that video: all I do is smoke weed. Really. It's my ADHD medicine/anti-anxiety/painkiller all in one. And unlike seemingly everybody else, my school performance is almost excellent. At least this far. Kicked ass last semester, and though this semester I'm still emotionally and psychologically fuct, I'm doing alright for the time being. That's the thing, I gotta keep my academic performance up. Gonna start spending more time in the library. Again, my buddies don't do shit. Neither do I.

    Don't know how to conclude except that everyday is a dragstrip. Getting old really, I wish I knew what it would take to get myself interested in learning at least. I could spend so much time rotting away in the library as opposed to a dorm room. Fuck it. Thanks for listening.



    Cliffs: Suck it.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Your life sucks because you are the one making it shitty. Nothing is going to change if you don't change the way you live.

    Oh yeah, 19 is ridiculously young. I'd say "grow up" but you're too young for that to even be funny.
     
  3. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

    My life sucked pretty hard when I was 19 for the same reasons my friend. Once I took steps to better myself life started getting better. I still go through bouts of depression at 23 but I think that makes me human.
     
  4. Janga

    Janga New Member

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    I feel ya. I've been doing the same shit day after day. Work and school. My friends don't do shit and I don't like to party. I'm sick of everyone.

    But I will suggest that you work out and eat better. It helps A LOT!
    And accept that life is dull.
     
  5. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It's unfortunate you feel bad considering you have endless opportunities available. Your problem is simple, you don't even see the opportunities in front of you. It's practically been handed to you, so it's relatively worthless. You're not challenged, and the result is that you're not even remotely interesting. In-fact you're actually quite boring and apathetic.

    Someone as intelligent as you, wasting their time smoking pot, isolating, and basically living the same life that nearly every other clone down that hallway of your dorm is what's truly unfortunate.

    If you don't care, no one else will. Now that's a challenge. I would think you'd want to live for something more. I can't imagine being you and waking up tomorrow at age 60, and realizing you'd done nothing with that time except do and be what society told you to. You're problem isn't anxiety, it's not ADHD, it's not girls, it's that you're aimless and not even making an effort. Getting good grades isn't "making an effort" -- not for someone like you.

    An aimless, uninteresting, apathetic, boring... clone. Disappointing really. You're intelligent and young, so is this who you want to be, is this how it is and how it should be? You figure it out Chief.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2008
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    quit smoking weed and your problems will go away and you will do more interesting things eventually.
     
  7. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Bullshit about quitting weed. That's not my problem right now.

    Update: Two girls I knew from last semster ended up taking me out to a party tonight. Met some of their friends who I actually knew just from living around campus. One of these girls has developed a supposed "crush". Made a thread about her last semester, but whatever.


    What really gets me is the comments about being another clone. I mean, how can I get interested? I really don't know what to do here. There's books on my shelf that need reading, besides those for class, and studying to be done. Besides, I'd really like to take that girl out, or even see if she wants to study in the library too. My perpetual cycle of negativity is what's killing me. But what do I need?
     
  8. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol thats what i thought when i was selling the shit junior.

    potheads are a really boring species my friend. they are apathetic for the most part.

    its not adhd medication, thats your justification for being a pothead drone.

    you dont see potheads walking around talking about mathematics or philosophy (unless they are tripping). you see them being dredges of society. remember its not who you want to be its who you are.... and right now form what you have told us. you are an apathetic pothead (which is the norm) and I challenge you to do this

    when i say its who you are i mean that you are what you are. You dont just become a different person unless you change

    Go 2-3 weeks without pot. just do it. it wont hurt you. see what happens. in fact id bet that you cant.

    thats how i quit. i noticed myself getting more clearheaded, then the next time i smoked i realized i didnt like being paranoid, feeling awkward, etc.
     
  9. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i smoked daily from 15 til about 18 and then off and on my freshman year. then i quit completely. (cept for the occasional 2am smoking now and then)

    i am definitely a happier person now
     
  10. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    I wish my little brother were like you. At least he'd be getting good grades.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Basically you have to ask yourself the question: Do i want to live like a pig for the rest of my life? If the answer is no, then you start kicking out every element in your life that brings you negativity. Stop drinking,stop smoking,stop eating shit,

    It all comes down to that you can either break your life, or try to build something up, you live a shitty live now so that's not where you want to be, or in other words, building up your life in a positive constructive manner, and doing positive and constructive things is the only way to go.
     
  12. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    mod edit: show some love :hsnono: All I talk is philosophy, I'd say I take a pretty philosophical view on life and my approach to it...the psychology class I'm taking right now is bullshit. Philosophy minor here. I have friends and acquaintances who are very smart. I guess I am a drone though.

    I've quit pot on more than one occasion for 2-3 weeks or longer since I start smoking in the 8th grade. Last break I had was last school year. Got no need to. It's not what stops me from neglecting life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2008
  13. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    The only hard part is not eating like shit. That's very hard.
     
  14. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    I think you are overrating the effect that pot has on you, think about it, it really only has a serious effect on you for no more than 2-4 hours. Unless you're high all day then weed is really not the problem you should be focusing on.
     
  15. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    I am high all day.

    And that's not a problem I'm focusing on.
     
  16. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    Well that definitely alters your behavior.
     
  17. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Pfff.
     
  18. Janga

    Janga New Member

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    being high doesn't matter any. I smoked everyday for a couple years and quit for the past 6 months. the only change was a dramatic increase in my stress levels. needless to say, I began again.
     
  19. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    Hey I'm all for smoking weed, its one of my favorite things to do and there have been many days where I've been high from the moment I wake up til I go to sleep but I know my behavior is different on those days. Not to say it doesn't relieve stress cause it does. I feel completely comfortable and really enjoy myself but it does alter your behavior and the way you interact with others. Who knows maybe it has a different effect on you. I'm just speaking from my experiences.
     
  20. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    ok dude. when your exactly as unhappy as your are right now in a year, and still smoking good luck.

    but remember you volunteered that information to us (about you smoking) so obviously you thought it was relevant in some way.


    modedit. depressed. im not.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2008
  21. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    :dunno:
     
  22. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    ok really cool, i come here helping you; call me a faggot, w.e

    mods are smart enough to look at my history in this forum before proceeding anyway
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rolleyes: Oh denial...
     
  24. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    ive never seen anyone get WORSE after quitting weed.:dunno:
     
  25. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Went climbing today. That made me feel good. :dunno:
     

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