FRK just something to read

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by suhrim21, Sep 10, 2009.

  1. suhrim21

    suhrim21 New Member

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    Ok this is a poem (but not in the traditional sense) that just popped in my head while I was working and I needed to write it down somewhere so I thought I would share it with you.

    Society binds you
    Parents restrain you
    Wake up and free yourself
    the tubes of this faciast world
    control you.
    are you going to lay down
    or stand up and take control?
    Open your eyes and look around
    in time the truth can be found
    all your life you are fed lies by the corrupt power
    it is time to lash out in anger.
    let them know we will no longer be blinded
    we will no longer be binded
    person by person we will cut the tubes
    the tubes that feed us lies.
    person by person we will unite
    and ignite the fuels of change
    wake up and realize
    recognize these real lies
    for this is your wake up call.
    this is not a place for the weak and poor.
    noone will help us.
    we need to unite
    and take the power back.

    Please feel free to make suggestions so that I can improve my writting. I have thought about writting erotica but dont know if I have any tallent to even make an attempt.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2009
  2. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    nice!

    Try your hand at erotica, folks here are happy to make suggestions. The first one, of course is: use paragraphs :mamoru:
     
  3. suhrim21

    suhrim21 New Member

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    what would be some good pointers for erotica
     
  4. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    There is a "Best of FS Erotica" thread in the archive. Poke around... like regular sex, everyone likes different things.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=4165376

    Usually I start with a fantasy situation, something I'd like to do and may actually do someday. It has a different progression from something I think about doing but know I never will do. Hard to explain my process.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2009
  5. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Here is an example. This is a fantasy that the BF & I hope to one day fulfill. I will write the story the way I'd like it to happen or hope it will happen.


    You undress me slowly, adjusting the position of our bodies so we can watch in the mirror. I shiver a bit with excitement at the knowledge that behind the mirror are an unknown number of people watching us together.

    You have chosen my outfit carefully. White silk tank top, no bra, short pink leather skirt and the barest web of pink silk for panties. Sexy, strappy heels I can barely walk in.

    If, however it is "just a story", I tend to step out of my comfort zone and get a little wild.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2009
  6. suhrim21

    suhrim21 New Member

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    I have read all of the stories in the archives and loved them all. though reading them the thought of how they are written never crossed my mind. I will have to read them again and pay attention to the style it was written with.

    How would you say I am with words based off of the above. does it seam like the words flow or does it seam like they are forced.
     
  7. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Doesn't seem at all forced. I look forward to reading what you present to us. :)
     
  8. suhrim21

    suhrim21 New Member

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    thank you thats good to know.

    stories where the words seam forced are very hard to read and follow along.

    I will start to work on something and post as soon as I can.
     
  9. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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