SRS just realized that I'm boring, middle class, and generally do nothing exciting

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Dec 26, 2007.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    How do you guys deal with stuff like this? I'm probably not going to do anything notable with my life. This makes it seem like I'm wasting life away. I'm basically about to turn 27, and have nothing to show for it. I thought by 27 I'd have my shit together, but I don't...oh, and I look like shit too.
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    when i was younger, i'd feel kinda left out or unlucky because i don't have a "passion". i'm good at a lot of things and i like doing things but i'm not REALLY GOOD at any one particular thing. then i figured that my passion in life is just having a happy, healthy life (and raising a happy family, but that's more detailed). just do what makes you happy, you don't need to "have your shit together" by other people's definitions, and you don't necessarily need to leave your mark on the world. stop worrying about expectations and just do what you enjoy doing in the present.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Does succes really define you as a person? Its really all in the eye of the beholder, you just need to be towards what keeps you alive in life, everything that you add to it gives an extra dimension towards your life.
     
  4. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    In your "ideal" world, what would you be doing differently?
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't have these student loans, I'd be able to live alone and own a house or condo with a garage, I wouldn't feel trapped in my job with no real reason to change agencies or employers, I'd have my track car running, and if I didn't have a GF I'd at least be able to attract women or maybe even not afraid of them.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You need to get off of OT and do something.
     
  7. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    define boring and middle class
     
  8. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    Find a hobby.

    You have a GF?
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    This could be your list of goals for 2008.

    Life isn't a destination, it's a journey.

    IMO it doesn't so much matter where you are in life but where you're headed. So perhaps just add "yet" to all of those things then start working on accomplishing them. Pick the one or two that are most important to you and ask yourself, "What can I do today to move me closer to realizing my goals?"....then do what comes to mind. Repeat this process everyday until you accomplish your goals.

    I know, I know....it can't be THAT simple to accomplish so much. But it is....it really can be that simple. However, don't think that it will be easy, simple and easy are not the same. So some days, the answer to that question will be very hard but it's ok.....keep working on it.

    Once you set a goal, don't give up on accomplishing it....EVER!! Many, many people fail because they give up. Don't be that guy. Just keep asking yourself that simple question (over and over again if you need to) and then do what comes to your mind. Repeat it every day and before tooo long you'll be on your way to accomplishing your goals.

    Good luck and try to enjoy the journey.
     
  10. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I can't do boring...but my base salary is $48k per year. With travel I double that, but it was a really good year for me.
     
  11. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I'm on ot all the time because I don't really have anything else to do, and I'm really getting tired of doing things alone...everything alone.
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I'm really good at setting goals and meeting them, but those goals deal with personal performance. I'm a weight lifter and I've set goals and met them for the past 3 years.

    Its different when it comes to people because I envision a desirable woman as someone who doesn't believe the horse-shit pickup crap. I have a hard time going up to women because who the fuck goes up to random people and starts talking about shit? Its weird and sad.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well you're on the internet alone and you are fine. Seriously, you know you're online too long. get the fuck out there and join some local sports teams or something. You meet people that way.
     
  14. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I do

    I don't do it because I want to pick someone up...well not all the time. I do it because I enjoy learning about other people's lives. I like meeting people and find that often I'm completely surprised at how my initial thoughts/impressions later turned out to be incorrect.

    I find it neither weird nor sad rather, I find it completely normal.
     
  15. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I think its scary and sociopathic. I know I'm wrong in this respect, but I'd really like to have your interpretation if my psyche would permit.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I don't know if you're wrong or right. I have no lock on the truth...in fact, everyone is different and what might work for me may be the exact wrong thing for you.

    I'm not sure why you find interacting with other people scary but I'm pretty sure it has to do with a fear of rejection. I think you get over that the more you approach people.....or you get desensitized to it. Either way, approaching strangers bothers you less when you do it more often.
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'll be honest here and I don't mean to sound like a dick but...

    Honestly, dude, all I see is a new thread by you every so many weeks whining about the same shit without DOING anything about it.

    How many times do we have to keep telling you the same thing over and over before it registers....your life is SHIT, then GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING. Get up off your ass and go do something different. Do something even if it's wrong.

    Quit overthinking and overanalyzing things. Quit beating yourself up. That's another thing I notice about you...you have zero self-confidence and that in and of itself is holding you down. People can sense that about you, even if you try to hide it.

    FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

    You don't think highly of yourself, then pretend. Fake it. Tell yourself that you are the most beautiful person you know, even if you don't believe it. You have to shake up your belief system and radically change the way you frame yourself and the world.

    Seriously, man, it's time to stop bitching about this shit on the internet and start doing something. Are you even living? Ask yourself that and answer honestly. It's time to get out there and start climbing mountains and swimming rivers (ala Pook). It's time to get out there and make something of yourself. Each passing moment is another chance to turn it all around and all it takes is for you to take action.

    Get the fuck up and go and do something. Get off the internet and force your way out of hell. Claw your way back to the life you've always wanted. It's not going to be easy. It's going to be very hard.

    A girl I knew once wrote something on the dash of her car that I thought was kinda cool.

    All it said was: "Just Keep Swimming".

    You're out there in an ocean of self-doubt and depression. You're being pulled under by the tide and tossed on the waves. JUST. KEEP. SWIMMING.

    If you give up, you're going to drown. But as long as you just keep swimming you have a chance. Now is the time. Not tomorrow. NOW. Get the fuck up and go out there and make your life the way you want it. Take it back with defiance. Get fucking angry about it. Comn man, feel SOMETHING. Get SOME kind of fight back inside of you. Life is good, but the good life has to be taken by force.

    Go get it.
     
  18. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    the funny thing is i wish i was making as much money as you and got a chance to travel. As people have pointed out you just need to gain some confidence. I will agree that its hard to get that confidence but once you start doing it it gets easier.

    to give an example , me and my friend are the same height but i am slower and fatter than my friend. When we play basketball i can beat him and play better than him every single time. the only difference is i know i can hit every shot get every rebound and drive in everytime. him on the other hand cries that he isnt fast enough strong enough and smart enough even though he is better than me in all three areas. but he keeps on missing shots and plays bad because he thinks he sucks. i keep telling him its in your head but he doesnt get it.

    i understand why he doesnt get it and its because he just cant see himself being that good. now in other areas of life like having a girlfriend he has this belief that he can get any girl. right now he is in a relationship that is just amazing. It is because he believes it a 100 percent that he deserves her and the relationship. no doubts, nothing. Now what you have to do is first change the belief that talking to random people is bad. We are human we must talk to people. when you talk to a person you are connecting with them and their life. just go and do it. talk to people , SMILE, smile at everyone, it brings joy to you and the other person. socializing and talking to others is actually fun and interesting. be genuinly interested in people. i know i made alot of friends when i was interested in them and as soon as i stopped caring about them they went away.

    you travel alot and that is a good way to talk to people and get comfortable. i have had great conversation when i have been in airplanes. it just takes a little effort for you to initiate and you go from there. you can ask them about their family, their dreams, their past, their hobbies or whatever and when the flight ends you have no obligation to talk to them. when you do it enough you will see that its just conversation and a way to connect to the world around you and you will start liking it. just try it!

    so basically
    1. change your beliefs about people. People like to talk, smile, have a laugh and they wont bite you or kill you if you say something wrong or are awkward
    2. Practice and have this idea that you will talk to people for the sake of finding something interesting about them.
    3.Have fun and you will slowly notice changes and a better social life!

    Good Luck! you seem to be a good guy and you have succeeded in other areas of your life so i am sure you can figure this out as well!
     
  19. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Honestly, it sounds like you just piss and moan about your current state. Yeah, you might make a tiny effort to help it, but once you realize you're not getting the results you want, you give up and piss and moan some more.

    Sometime's it takes a lot of work to get what you want. You need to stop complaining and just keep trying until you get what you want.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    And dude, GO. GET. PROFESSIONAL. HELP.

    OT isn't going to be able to solve your problems. You are going to have to do that yourself. We can be supportive of you and give you advice, but it's YOU who has to put balls to walls to get shit done in your life.

    Throughout all of your threads down here, I've always said that you need to go talk to a professional.

    Go now and schedule an appointment. It doesn't matter what you are doing or how busy you are or where you are--DO IT NOW. Stop putting it off and stop making excuses. This is your mental health and happiness, what's more important than that?
     
  21. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    This is a good example of something I deal with constantly. I say hi, then stfu. I do not want to be the annoying guy on the plane who's accosted someone for the next 2-10 hours, making their life miserable. I'm too weird and have too strange of a sense of humor to interact with most people.
     
  22. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I'm uninsured and can't really afford to drop $500 per month on psychology when I already have a $650 monthly student loan payment.
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Find a way.
     
  24. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Work a second job.
     
  25. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    the constant travel impedes with this and psychological treatment in general.
     

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