Three weeks ago I was absolutely content to not have a girl in my life. And now, after meeting one, I don't want to imagine my life without her. This is the third night in a row she said she'd call, and she hasn't. The first night, she had a decent excuse, and I forgave her, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. I hate waiting by phones, I hate thinking about why she's not calling. But my mind is focussed on it, and won't let go. I guess I feel so bad because I thought there was something there, something worth making important, something worth making incredible. And now I'm receiving signals that say: Nay! But I feel like such a whiny bitch. This isn't a big deal, on the large spectrum of things, and I'm not sure why I'm making it so. I kinda want to scream at her, and just tell her if she's not interested, to fuck off... but, will that really FIX anything? I'm not sure. Right now, I guess, I just want her to call, and say SOMETHING. If it's goodbye, I'd be dissappointed, but at least I wouldn't be waiting. If it was, "sorry, I got held up in traffic," at least I'm not waiting. Rant.