SRS Just need to vent.....

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Civil Disobedient, Sep 27, 2006.

  1. Civil Disobedient

    Civil Disobedient "Die Biting The Throat" OT Supporter

    Sep 27, 2006
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    Hey OT. Been about a year and a half since I've been here. Really, I only use this site when I'm feeling lonely and depressed. Anyhoo, on to the point.

    So Me and my girl of 2 1/2 years called it quits exactly 2 weeks ago. She does have alot of emotional problems, caused mainly, imo, by her parents disowning her at the age of 18, So i tried to be good about it. It went down cuz things had been really odd for about a month or so. She was always too tired or busy to hang out and we never had sex, which previously was a near daily occurrence. So she called me one night after work and i decided to talk about it. after some prying she finally says to me that shes been thinking about us and shes not sure if she's ready to only be with one person for the rest of her life. I flip out and tell her that if she's not sure about me then I definately don't want to be with you and hang up. she calls back and says everyone gets cold feet. What did i propose or something, and no not everyone gets "cold feet". i hang up again. she texts "so this is it? your just giving up? i call her and am like i didnt give up anything, you questioned us and obviously this isnt what you want. i ask her if God came down and made you make a decision, right now, with me or not, what do you tell him. Silence... for about 2 minutes. finally i ask for an answer. nothing. i tell her your silence says enough and i hang up and turn off my phone and went out with my guy and gotted totally muffed up.

    so the next day im regretting this burst of anger and try to talk to her. she tries to pull a guilt trip on me and say how she cried the whole night and whatnot. i'm like if this is so upsetting, do you want to be with me. i don't know she says. im like is this something we can work through or whats going on. she says she thinks she needs to figure herself out and deal with her feelings about her parents. im crying at this point i tell her i love her and that i dont think we can be together if shes not sure about us, cuz im damn sure about her. she says i guess and i said goodbye and that i'd call her tomorrow to pick up my shit and get her phone put under her own name unless she like to pay to have it cancelled. conversaion ends and i go and cry for a good 20 minutes.

    Next day we got out do all this and i'm seriosly having second thoughts. i tell her im not strong enough to break up with her and that she needs to tell me she doesnt want to be with me. she cries the whole time at the cell place, the car rides, and when im gettin my shit. i continually ask her if this is what she wants and she keeps replying she thinks it whats best. i tell her this doesnt seem like a real reason to be breaking up. i ask her if there was something i did. she says no. i ask if theres someone else, she says no. so she give me this letter as we say goodbye and i telll her ill always be there for her. she starts balling and says thank you and runs into her apt. i drive home sobbing. I could never understand why she cried the whole time.

    The letter is four pages about how shes grateful for me giving her a family (my family), all the stuff i did for her, how i'll be her "one regret" and she quotes the notebook and shit. i'll be honest i cried pretty hard reading it.

    So about a week goes by and my best friend of 9 years call me. now he happens to date my ex's sister, whom he met though us. he tells me that shes already dating some other dude. i hang up, cry, then go smash a bunching bag for about a half hour. now last night he tells me this skank is already bangin this other guy. Never in my whole lif have i felt so much jealousy, anger, and pain all at once.

    I dont know ot. i guess i'm wonderin how deep the lies go. i should seen it coming and i should ended it way earlier. she lied to me before about all sorts of shit in the beginning of our relationship, and i thought everything was fine, but then my guy tells me she would this that and the other little things (smoke, drugs etc, all of which she claimed to have given up)behind my back.

    I'm so hurt right now, and i've had my heart broken before, but that time was simple and she was honest and wasnt cheating on me/ dating people right away. We're freinds now and she was the one who dumped me and she said it took her almost a year to be totally over me.

    I guess i'm seeking opinions about anypart of it. anyone whos ever been cheated on, or in a similar situation, i'd love to hear some tips on getting through it. also feel free to comment about anything was she cheating? why was she crying the whole time? whatever you would like to say. i just really needed to vent about it and i'd love to see what some people who dont know me thing about it all.

  2. darnit

    darnit New Member

    Oct 24, 2005
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    she's having break up sex.
    you need to move on,even if she wants back.
    Not becuase your in the right, but becuase your from two different worlds. You want an answer now and she wants to breathe.
    Not saying your wrong, but its the way you are from your words.
    you will either find someone that thinks like you or you will change.
    But most people, not all, after they break up and thier SO goes and sleeps with someone right away have difficulty with trust in them again.
    Sorry about the heart ache and such.

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