SRS Just need some group hugs guys

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by weezyfbaby, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    Thought I had found an amazing girl. Hit it off great, she had the qualities I wanted in a woman. Both of us were really were enjoying each other and liked the other.

    Former ex tries calling/texting her again 4 months after their breakup.

    She tells me last night that she still has some small feelings for him and wants to give him another chance.

    I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to feel or do or even say.

    :(
     
  2. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Move on
     
  3. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    will do

    just hard everytime this kinda thing happens, especially when I truthfully believe her when she says it was nothing I did or could do, just her being a sucker and trying to give him one more chance

    huge hit to the self esteem y'know?
     
  4. chickenfeather

    chickenfeather New Member

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    Looks like you were her rebound. :(

    It's a good thing she told you early instead of messin around behind your back, but it still sucks to get owned by her ex. Just don't go and take her in when they break up again.
     
  5. Normie

    Normie The TBW weight loss plan worked for me! OT Supporter

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    Wow, she saved you huge heartache in the future.. She's one of those people who will love a guy till the next best thing shows up! Just be thankful she wasn't such a whore that she was fucking him and you at the same time!

    Trust me it's not you, it's her!

    :hug:
     
  6. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    exactly why I asked her that exact question. I said to her "Am I just a rebound?" before anything even started between us and she had said that no, I wasn't. She was slowly getting over him and was very depressed for 3 months. She had been on other dates before getting together with me and I was the only one she had any interest in and I had made her happy again...

    And yes, her main reason for telling me before she even found out about getting back with him was that she didn't want it to get any more serious than it already was and just have me hurting more in the future, which I respect her for. I do believe she cared for me which is what makes this hard because it wasn't something I did it was just she didn't want to always wonder what could have been with her ex. She chose to go that route and always have to wonder what would have happened with me.

    and then this... I feel like her ex probably did this on purpose as he most likely saw (through facebook,etc) that she was getting happy again.

    Love blows
     
  7. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    :wavey: Thanks man. I do realize that.
     
  8. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    the real thing that I'm confused about is that this same thing happened to one of her best friends, ex told her he changed, they got back together, and nothing changed and they were broken up again and it ruined her best friend's psyche. And this girl was the one that was telling her best friend to let it go and yelling at the guy for toying with her emotions...

    yet now she does the same thing... ah fuck I dunno

    thanks guys
     
  9. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    girls are stupid (well guys are too) but in this situation she is either lying or being stupid. best of luck and if she tries to come back don't take her, you will just be setting yourself up for future problems if you do.
     
  10. RuskeR

    RuskeR ReksuR

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    Just be thankful she came out and told you instead of trying to see how things went with her ex behind your back. In my experience that is pretty rare.

    How long was she apart from her ex before you got together with her?
     
  11. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    she was with her ex for 3 years, then went on some dates with a few other guys and then I made contact with her about 4 months after she broke up with her ex and we started seeing each other... lasted about a month and a half before she told me this last night... so I told her how I felt about her and how I wished she would give me the chance rather than go back to someone who hurt her so bad but it was obvious that wasn't going to happen. I mean who would you choose, someone you were with for 3 years and broke up with u and u still have feelings for them kinda and now they are TALKING about getting back together, or the new guy who is making you feel great and you are having an awesome time with and is getting you over your Ex?

    it's okay I deleted her cell # from my phone so I don't do anything stupid. Obviously I hope she sits down with this guy this weekend or next week and realizes that she'd rather be with me, in which case I, not gonna lie, would probably work on something with her again. But if it is longer than 2 weeks or so I guess I gotta just let her go and not take her back.
     
  12. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    exactly. That's how I know she has genuine feelings for me and that I did nothing wrong, which is why I'm kinda so upset. If it was ended because we weren't getting along or were arguing or I did something that I could improve upon in the future it wouldn't be eating at me so bad. She just didn't want to totally crush me by letting me know another month or more down the line so I appreciate that she let me know now but I just hope she realizes (SOON) what she wants
     
  13. chickenfeather

    chickenfeather New Member

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  14. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I think she did care for you and generally doesn't want to hurt people. While that's an attractive quality, it's not all there is to this woman.

    It sucks and it's difficult and yeah the guy might be playing with her emotions but there's nothing you can do to help her see it. She's got to make her own mistakes and she likely thinks of herself as "special" and different than her friend that got hurt by her ex.

    Best thing you can do is move on and start dating as quickly as possible. You'll find another woman that won't jump from guy to guy and she'll rock your world. If you stay hung up on this one, it will be much more difficult to find the next one.

    Anyways, I know it hurts but hang tough man.
     
  16. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    Yea that's what I'm gonna try to do. Hard finding girls out there for me though, I guess I don't really know the right places to look. I think I'm quickly getting over this though which is good, but too much alone time for me keeps getting my mind spinning which isn't a good thing. Gonna work on improving my health and getting to the gym more to use some of this energy, destress, and take my mind off what could have been.

    Thanks guys though all of this definitely helped and it was nice to get this off my chest.
     
  17. FunkyMunniez

    FunkyMunniez Active Member

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    :hug:

    you'll be fine man. its become a policy of mine to make sure that before i even get involved with another girl to make sure that she doens't have some shitty situation with an ex boyfriend.
     
  18. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Sorry chief. That's very unfortunate. :hug:
     
  19. kungfuwoo

    kungfuwoo New Member

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    Sounds like my old situation except she never told me, I found out the hard way. Ugh.
     
  20. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    Thanks guys. For some reason this has been very tough for me to forget about. I guess I was attached even after that short period. It had just been a while since I felt this way for a girl that had qualities I was looking for, and that she felt the same way in return....

    been sick to my stomach for most of past 3 days even though I've tried to take my mind off of it (or rather what was and also what could have been)
     
  21. mattz87

    mattz87 Active Member

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    Had a similar situation lately myself. Things hit off great, all the signs were there. Her boyfriend had broke up with her a month prior, year and half relationship. She told me I wasn't a rebound too, but she ended up saying she didn't know what she wanted right now since she was newly single blah blah.

    Hang in there man, I know it's easy to meet someone and think "this is perfect, where will I find another one this good" but there are plenty of fish out there, and you'll have that feeling again.
     
  22. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    Yep, I had asked her if I was the rebound and what she was looking for. She was always straight up with me from the beginning though, said she wasn't sure what she was looking for and let's just take it as it goes. She also told me she wasn't 100% over her ex so it's not like she lied to me from the beginning, she was ALWAYS truthful and that meant and means alot to me. But needless to say we had a great time together, she said she was finally getting back to being happy again and actually liked me whereas she didn't like the other few people she dated after her ex. I could tell it was hard for her when she sat down with me and told me she was going to see what was up with her ex. Who knows maybe she'll check it out, realize nothings changed, and then maybe me and her could start over... if I even want that.

    Definitely sucks though but yeah I know I'll have that feeling again, just want it right now haha
     
  23. epracmetcon

    epracmetcon New Member

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    Think about it this way. You could be in my shoes where you dated a girl over a year, then just up and breaks up with you one day and is with another dude a week later. Talk about feeling shitty. I thought I was going to marry that girl. Be happy she did it early on instead of a year down the road.

    Hang in there man. :hug:
     
  24. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    wow

    yea, thanks guys, this thread did for me exactly what I thought it would. Gave me a chance to vent, see options, hear other stories, make me feel much better.

    now just to move on and improve myself
     
  25. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    that sucks... ive actually done that to other guys before :hs:
     

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