SRS just need life advice..i feel like im stuck and just going down..help, PLEASE read..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nish81, Feb 23, 2007.

  1. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    (this seems kinda long, im sorry...no cliffs possible though)

    i dunno where to start..i just feel as if all areas of my life are spiraling down...maybe i'll just go through everything. for reference in some things i might say, im 15 years old and in grade 10 of highschool, but please don't use any :highschool: stereotypes or anything...from the outside teenagers might be stereotypes, but im just trying to live my life with real events.

    in terms of family, my parents used to hate each others' guts, but since they're growing old, they're mellowing out..now they rarely fight, but they don't really get along well. its like i feel that i live in a 'cold' household..there's no real family, just two people taking care of me for a couple of years...i dont like spending time at home or anything, and when im home im usually just away from my parents...this got worse in the last couple of months, to the point that when im home i just shut myself in my room. but i also feel sad, 'cause my parents are growing older...my mum is already going kinda senile and i just dont think its fair, im only 15 years old, shouldn't i be entitled to a healthy mum until at least 17/18? (for reference my parents are in their mid-50s). but yeah..

    then there's school life..in terms of work, well. i dont want to brag or anything but ive been an excellent student and i keep good work habits, get things done early, etc. in january i decided to relax in terms of work until march, (january-march is a half-term) because its the last chance i'll get where grades aren't really important - after that, everything counts a lot. so im doing fine relaxing, ( :o ) but im not sure whether i'll be able to get back into working after this period.

    then there's my SO/gf...things with her are messed. we've had quite a bit of drama in our relationship, and that didn't really bug me since i have a high tolerance for stuff like that..a couple of nights ago we had a serious talk about where we are and couldn't finish it off, and we're still stuck in limb. i really dont know where we'll end up...neither of us know where we stand anymore or what we want from this relationship...its been about a year since we started going out..if you want i'll give more details on that later.

    then there's friends...i get the feeling i lead too many 'lives' at once with this. like there's about three 'groups' of friends that i hang out with, and then i also try to keep acquainted with everyone else. i dont want to get into the big teenage scene in here which is basically gossipping, stabbing people in the back, and getting wasted every friday, (you can't choose only one, have to go with all three sadly :o ). and the thing is that most kids here dont have to worry about getting into university, their parents are diplomats or own banks or whatever, there's no problem at all getting into uni - most dont even pay for school at all. but my parents work and honestly we're not doing that great economically...i think i really need at least some financial aid and a scholarship would be nice.

    and what worries me the most is the way ive been feelings since about january...ive been really quiet, had tons of mood swings..one minute i can be laughing and joking then literally in 5 minutes moody and quiet...i also catch myself tuning out of discussions and just staring out the window or stuff like that...i also sleep a whole lot more and feel bored, and just dont know what the point of life is anymore. ive kinda lost the thread here. other people have also noticed..and the only person close enough to tell me, (ironically my gf who is also one of my best friends) has told me this and...well, i used to be such a cheerful bouncy person and now im just moody/depressed half the time...it worries me and i dont want to be like this. :wtc:

    and the last thing might not seem that important but it is...i mentioned that my gf is also my best friend, well she's leaving forever in june. yeah, yeah, its not forever anyway, im only 15, but none of that matters, the truth is that when she goes i dont know who i'll have to really confide in...we've always kept trust with each other, whether on great or horrible terms..that she's leaving really hurts me inside and i cant come to terms with it yet.

    well thats it. sorry, this must be a long post without much grammar but...well, this is the first time ive ever mentioned any of this before. PLEASE someone...help me
     
  2. HardTech

    HardTech hungry

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    you're not alone dude. My gf is my ONLY friend most of the time, and there was a rough patch in our relationship where we didn't want to see each other or anything. It kind of sucks because there's no one to talk to. Just like somebody who is drowning, I reached out for ANYBODY to help me, and I was surprised at how many people actually did. My manager at work, the choir conductor at church, my friend who's like 9 years older than me and we're not that close

    It sounds like most of those problems aren't ones that you can solve yourself, but you'd benefit from just talking to somebody who understands. Do you have a favorite teacher? A guidance counselor at school? Maybe you need a few after-school conversations with a teacher.

    You'd be surprised at how cool some of them are. They know high schoolers have a difficult life because of peer pressure and college. If I were a teacher and a student came up to me like that, I'd probably buy a pizza and just talk about stuff.
     
  3. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    thanks man. i get what you mean about talking to other people, but i have a block there as well...i mean, whenever i get in an opportunity to talk to someone, i get the feeling that if i tell them just how bad i feel ill be an 'attention-whore', like my problems aren't real, im just making them up for attention, and i know thats not true, but thats how i feel when im about to talk to someone...ive only talked to a couple of people about it properly, and neither of them were concerned much which also puts me off. although i found out later that one of them had a lot of bad shit going on in their life at the time.

    a teacher? well..yeah, I do have a teacher that i like a lot...but, well it could get awkward 'cause he teacher me and co-ordinates the grade, but also it's hard to go to a teacher and say 'hey, can we talk?' out of the blue...plus all the other kids look at that and go like :wtf: so yeah...
     
  4. HardTech

    HardTech hungry

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    if you trust him, why would he turn you down?

    Like I said, I started reaching out for help to a lot of people when I usually just keep it all inside. I was very surprised at how everybody was very concerned for me. You'd be surprised too
     
  5. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    that's just the thing though, most friends ive reached out to haven't been to concerned about it. either that or they've had their own problems and can't help much :hs: i just want something to get me out of this pit
    that teacher would be the last person to care though...he has his own life and everything, and i only trust him as a teacher, not as a friend. i dunno :hsd:
     
  6. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Obviously, the symptoms that you are feeling are from stress. I'm surprised you're not complaining about migraines. That's how I dealt with my stress... it would all go right to the back of my head. So, I sorta knew when my problem was stress.

    As people have said before, you need to let out what's inside of you. If you are afraid to talk to someone, start writing a journal. Just put your thoughts down on paper... there is no need for format or any formal entry... just write what's on your mind. It will be hard to jump into at first, but once you get the first one done, it will be easy. You don't even have to write it in every night... than what you write has no meaning.

    When you start to get like this, bust out your journal and just start writing what's on your mind. You'll be surprised how much you want to get down on paper.

    Soon, you can work that up to talking to someone you care about, or cares about you. You should try talking to your parents. You don't even have to talk about your life or your problems, ask them how their day was. What did they do today? How was work for them? What's for dinner tonight?

    Do that sort of thing: show that you care, and maybe they will care about you.
     
  7. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    stress? sounds kinda reasonable but over the past week ive had no stress at all in my life...heck, all I had to do was wake up, eat, hike 5 hours, come back, eat, do nothing for 5 hours, shower, eat and sleep. repeat. (i was on a hiking trip).
    thanks for the idea of a journal...i guess thats kinda what ive done by writing my first post out. a journal sounds like an even better idea, a step forward, right?
    but as for my parents, i cant see myself doing that. i know that they really care about me and i care about them a lot but im just too close to them to talk to them about this...if that makes sense. i just dont want to reach out to someone and drag them in...i dunno how to explain it :hs:

    maybe i'll just try to put it all out of my head and keep myself occupied, get some goals as well. :hs:
     
  8. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Just because nothing is stressful at the current moment in your life does not mean that you're not stressed (Shhh, i like double negatives). Past experiences could be stressing you out if you do not get them out. In certain circumstances, it's okay to deal with stuff by just putting it aside and keeping yourself occupied. Others, it's good to get it out of your body completely by talking or writing about it.

    Most people after posting their problem do feel a little bit of relief. I hope that soon you will find some relief and understanding in the near future.
     
  9. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    Past experiences - i think i'll take your advice and start a journal. Writing this topic out helped me feel better, so i think that a journal would also help right? :hs:

    thanks
     

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