SRS Just lost a long-term relationship

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by HailStorm, Apr 4, 2006.

  1. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    I know I have few posts, but this just sucks.
    Been with this girl for almost two years, 8 months. First girlfriend. I'm a freshman in college (same college as her, but huge campus). We started dating the summer before Junior year of HS. A few weeks ago she starts to act a bit weird. We were in an open relationship at the time, she was hanging out with guys, I wasn't taking advantage of it. Two nights ago I see her, and she's very distant. Non-committal, that sort of thing. Yesterday I call her, ask her "What are the chances that we'll be together tomorrow?" and she responds "slim." I just lost it on the phone there. I wasn't getting an answer--together or separate. This morning she picked me up to go to class, and I got an answer out of her--we're done. Just like that. 7am, no more girlfriend. Had a day's worth of classes, then in order to bus off-campus, I had to ride with her, and get a ride with her back to my house. That was awkward. I lost it again as I walked in the door, just busted down crying. I went into my room and grabbed all the stuff with her and I in it, and put it in a big pile on the kitchen table.
    I don't know what to do. I don't want to die. I want to get over this. I've been thinking about applying for my local Volunteer Fire Department, would that be something you guys/gals would suggest to "fill my time?"
    I'll take any other stories about first-time love/lost.
    Please help.
    Thank you.
    ~Ted
     
  2. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

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    Get an answer for why she did what she did, for closure. It will help you move on faster and yes, find activities to make yourself busy. Don't ever drown in pain. Good luck to you. I know how painful it is. :hug:
     
  3. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    She says it was because she changed. Her love for me changed. She said that I'm still her best friend, but right now I can't have that. Too soon.
    Also, as of right now, we'd be bussing down (20 minutes) to campus together two days a week, and that would it for contact, would it be better for me to bike and not see her?
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    No, you do not need to see her. That WILL make things harder and harder. You should resist the urge to see her.

    First off, respect her decision. It's over. Don't go crawling back and making a pathetic scene by throwing all self respect out the window. Everyone goes through this. Suck it up and learn from this experience. Accept that it is over and be happy you had the times you did. Now you will move on and eventually have better times with someone else.

    Secondly, no contact is the only way to go. I have yet to see someone head over heels for their lost partner find it easier to move on with any kind of contact. No contact allows you to refocus your life and move on to other things. YOu will think about it for a long time but this is the best way to do it.

    Thirdly, supercharge your life. Pick up hobbies, volleyball, the gym, SOMETHING SOCIAL, and devote yourself to it. Put yourself out there and meet new people. This too shall pass.
     
  5. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    I appreciate these responses. Things I couldn't get from people that haven't been there/done that.
    :hug:
     
  6. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

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    Avoid her.

    I think its chicken shit that she just all of the sudden blew it off. Its pretty clear that she has been thinking about this for a while, or had fallen out of love a while back. If so, she should have said something then, instead of pretending till now. Signs should have been present.

    Just put YOU first, give it time, don't rebound, heal, take the positive from the relationship and move forward. There will be more! Good luck!
     
  7. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    she should really explain herself more clearly. a ~3 year relationship and now she says everything changed? it can't be that simple. find out the truth and move on. youre still young, you still got a lot ahead of you. having your first girlfriend for that long is a killer when it ends, but you'll pull through. use what you learned from the experience and apply it to your future.
     
  8. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    :werd: Not very mature of her to just break it off without a better explanation. If she was mature enough to be in a long term relationship she needs to tell you exactly what changed with her and why she decided to break it off.

    The best thing for you is to do things that keep you occupied so your not constantly thinking about her. Plus youre in college, enjoy yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll find that breaking up was for the best.
     
  9. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    I appreciate all the responses!
    I'm giving myself a week of no contact at all first, then I think I'll attempt to get a better explanation from her. The more I think about it, the more I agree with you all that it was a really, really weak reason.
    Oh well, her loss.
     
  10. whitepearl

    whitepearl OT Supporter

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    You never truelly know when it's over. I been dating this guy for 5 years...and we broke up like 3 times...one of which was like half a year period. If it's meant to be, she will come back to you. Right now, my bf and are broken up..it's been a month. We mutually agreed to break up and see how it goes because we were sick of fighting and shit.

    I was so hurt. I didnt know what to do...i called him begging to get back together and he said no. I loved him so much....Anyhow..i have been trying to move on. I don't cry, i hardly get depressed. I live my life one day at a time..i really do. Don't think of tommorow. Or day after.

    Go out with your friends. Focus more on school. Have "me" time.
    There is more to life then having an S.O.

    Time heals....don't rush it..

    The best advice i can give you is don't sit and dwell on it. Find something to do. Read a book...go out, make new friends.

    Right now, my ex wants to get back together after this semester ends..but i dont know. He hurt me this time, he really did. He ript my heart out...to the point where i just become numb and hated him so mch that i did not even want to cry over him. Now he wants back in..and i dont know if i trust him enough to not hurt me again. Sometimes, enough is enough. Some things are not meant to be..and some are. Only time will tell.
     

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