Just looking for a little advice...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by venger240, Sep 9, 2006.

  1. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    So my sister and I have been best friends for a majority of our lives. We are only 18 months apart and are roomates. Im going to try and tell this as unbiased as possible. My sister has never liked ANY girl I have dated. Sometimes warranted, most not. As a result she doesnt like my current girlfriend either.

    I met this girl about 5 months ago and we really hit it off. She is absolutely awesome and we honestly have never had that first fight. She has never given my sister a reason to not like her. Always been very friendly and nice. Anyways my sister really doesnt like this girl. Slowly she has been starting to stay over my place more and more. So she stays at my place between 2-4 nights a week. Here lately its been more, strictly because I have been working 75 hours a week, and its been the only time we could spend with each other.

    About 2 weeks ago my sister confronted me and asked when she was going to start paying rent. This blew up into a HUGE fight. I texted her about 2 hours after it and told her that I understand that my gf stays over alot(the most ever was 4 nights in one week) and that we would try to limit that number as much as possible. She didnt respond to my text. So then I asked her to just talk to me about it. She didnt respond to that. So I texted her back again later and told her that she was being very immature about this and taking the wrong approach and that until she talks to me like an adult, I refuse to change what im doing. Her and I are currently talking but on a very limited basis.

    Am I wrong for thinking that I pay half of the rent so if I want my gf to stay the night a few times a week, she should not let that affect our relationship?
     
  2. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    What do you mean when you say you and your sister are "room mates"? Does that mean you share an apartment, or you share a room? And, how old are you and your sister?

    Need a little more info to figure out what's going on here.
     
  3. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    Yes, her and I share an apartment. I am 24 and she is 22. Sorry about that.
     
  4. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I think you have the right to have your gf over. I am sure she has friends over and doesnt sit there with no company. You pay for half of it and that means, you live there and can do what you want in your house.
     
  5. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    She doesnt have friends over that much. That is her point is that she never brings guys over and if she did they would not spend as much time as my gf does. She has a problem with our PDA. We use to make out and stuff alot in front of her, and when she told me it made her uncomfortable we stopped. So we no longer kiss in front of her, and we barely hold hands. Anytime we hear her walking through the door we jump and try to seperate from each other. Its crazy, but she just wants more and more.
     
  6. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    sister is a PPPHHSYCOOOO. haha, dude, i dont see any problem here except for your sister.. im not sure why she is over reacting so badly, maybe she is jealous because she is having boy troubles?
     
  7. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    I think she is jealous because her and I dont hang out as much as we use to. We are very close, best friends close. She doesnt ever like any girl that I date, and I have finally found a girl im compatible with and have fun with, and so Im going to ride it as long as I can. Its fun. I guess having a girl over 4 nights a week is a little excessive... Im not sure.
     
  8. kazkaz

    kazkaz i ride bare back

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    i had the exact same scenario as you a few yrs back, although you stay with your sister, my close friend was a girl. it was all about jealousy. i had a huge fight with her and so i moved out, bought a house and am now marrying her. i talk to my friend now but its not the same as before. oh well.
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    your sister is acting kinda crazy / protective / jealous

    you have to do whats right for you and just laugh whenever she says so when is she paying rent
     
  10. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: Does she not get hit on by guys much or something?
     
  11. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    Im going to go out on a limb here and say that your sister is in love with you.
    A lot of LTR develop from friendship. The facts/hints you have stated.. she doesnt have many friends/guys over and she doesnt like anyone you do have and your PDA bothers her.
    In her eyes the only person good enough for you is her.
    I know it sounds wierd,but the puzzle pieces would fit.
     
  12. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    Your sister is being overly presumtuous and overy imposing her will on you as well.
    You guys share the rent and inasmuch as you pay your share, not only is it not for her to say what you do, it's also not for her to try to cut you off from your gf and ruin your relationship by imposing on the only time that the two of you (you and the gf) can spend with one another.
    You can perhaps try to encourage a friendship between her and the gf to try to calm the waters between you two, though right now she is being too selfish, controling, manipulative, jealous, and simply ridiculous.
     
  13. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    Thanks for the comments guys. Im glad to see that im not really doing anything wrong. My sister and I had a talk about it and she says she feels "trapped in her own room" whenever my gf is over. I know that we watch movies out in the living room alot, but it happens maybe once or twice a week. Usually we are out and about doing something, and just sleep at my place.

    Just a little update, this caused my gf and I's first fight last night. It wasnt so much of a fight as it was us having ackward silence between each other, and she cried a little bit. My gf says it is really uncomfortable for her to stay over my house now, and that fucking bothers me.

    My sister is threatening to move out, and I cant afford the place on my own. I could probably move in somewhere with another roomate, but it is such a hassle to move, for no good reason.
     
  14. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    She dates ALOT of guys, but not to many 2nd daters. When she does have guys over its when im not there usually. I am working like 75 hours a week right now, so im not home much, but when I am home, I just want to relax with the girlfriend and chill out.
     
  15. imsleepwalking

    imsleepwalking New Member

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    This may not be about your relationship with your girlfriend at all, but the loss of privacy in the apartment. It might be that your sister views the apartment as a place where she can unwind and relax and not have to deal with people.

    You said that your sister rarely brings people to the apartment and this is probably the reason. For her, the house is a private place and socializing is supposed to be done outside of it.

    or maybe I'm totally wrong :)
     
  16. uptown josh

    uptown josh Active Member

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    Has your sister ever made any advances toward you?
     
  17. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    I think thats probably part of it. Any advice to on how to deal with it?
     
  18. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    No. Its definitely not like that. I thougth you were joking at first, but I guess your serious.
     
  19. armond

    armond New Member

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    Well here is something to look at then...

    You and your sis pay rent, half I assume each. You bring the g/f over and whatnot, and she stays the night and you guys partake of PDA I am sure. Well are you guys respecting her and keeping the majority of PDA to your bedroom and not in front of her in the kitchen or living room area? I know it sounds kinda prude but some people, not myself, don't like to have PDA in front of them.

    I think you have a right to have guests over, as long as they do not interfere with her way of life overly much. How many bedrooms, how many bathrooms do you have?! Just realize there is another person in the apt, and that perhaps what you think is ok, is not ok with your roomie(even if it is your sis). Did you two ever talk about rules in the apt when it came to friends/girlfriends/boyfriends???
     
  20. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Well if your sis moves out, why can't you just get another person to move in with YOU, instead of you having to move out as well?

    Or, for that matter, what about you and your gf getting a place or something?
     
  21. imsleepwalking

    imsleepwalking New Member

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    Try setting up visiting times for certain days and on the week ends, and maybe try staying over at your girl's place more often. This would probably be hard to do since you're working a god awful amount of hours a week tho.
     
  22. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I don't think you're doing anything wrong, except you might want to communicate with your sister a little. However, that being said, she needs her space and privacy too. She could be jealous at the fact that you're in a relationship that is actually past the first date and on to something that has progressed. Still, you're in your mid twenties, this type of behavior is to be expected from you, and she cannot realistically assume that you aren't going to have a girlfriend and that you aren't going to have some PDA in your's and your sister's apartment. I hate to phrase it as "she has to grow up", but she kind of does. You just need to try to have an open discussion with her, don't get defensive, don't get offensive, and just be patient. Listen to her, and don't be afraid to tell your sister that she is right and you may be wrong on something, it'll definitely help!
     
  23. low20

    low20 Member

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    ur sister is being dumb about this....you pay your half of the rent, she pays her half right? with your half your essentially entitled to do whatever you want (within reason)...having a friend stay over isnt costing anything and she is your friend, covered under your half of the rent. if your g/f was taking showers every day, easting your food and doing her laundry at your place then I would agree with your sister, its not fair, but it doesnt seem like thats the case....it seems like your sister is jealous or something, or maybe she just doesnt feel comfortable with other chicks around...i mean, she does have half the rights and if your gf is always over and ur sister isnt comfortable when shes over, then she prolly feels like its not fair that shes paying half the rent and feels uncomfortable in her own house. i donno, before anyone moves in together, even siblings, rules should be set on paper or else your bound to have some problems sometime.

    i say if ur gf isnt taking showers, doing laundry or eating your sisters food, then theres no reason she should pay rent to hang out at your house...its like asking your buddies to pay rent when they pass out drunk at your place...
     
  24. venger240

    venger240 Hoemoe

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    We use to be big fans of PDA at all times, but she blew up at me a couple months ago about that, so ever since then, we barely hold hands around her now. Everytime I hear her door to her room open or the door to the house open, my girlfriend and I jump away from each other. Almost as if its our parents coming in and catching us cuddling with each other on the couch.

    I admitted to her that it was probably wrong of me to have PDA in front of her, and that it woudl change, and it did. Still has. We respect her as humanly as possible.

    My girlfriend has only taken maybe 3-4 showers over at my place in the last 5 months, and only ever eats food that I purchase and I prepare.

    Im going on a cruise in October with a bunch of people and one of the people has dropped out and decided not to go. Well my sister cant find anyone to fill that spot, all they need to pay is 50 bucks for the name change on the cabin and it will be filled. After suggesting a bunch of people to fill it I suggest my girlfriend, and she absolutely said no way. So basically there will be a payed spot on that boat with nobody in it. Ugh. Her and I are going to go out to eat on Wednesday and talk about all this. Any suggestions on how I could bring it up so she doesnt become defensive?
     
  25. armond

    armond New Member

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    Ask her what she would have you do? If she was in your spot what would she do? You need to make her see your side to the story, and to see you POV.

    Your sis sounds kinda like she needs to get into a relationship to know how you feel.

    Again, did you two talk about rules in the apt ever?!
     

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