SRS Just learned something about my ex

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mel, Apr 9, 2005.

  1. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    This something makes me realize that I made the right decision in ending our 2 1/2 year relationship.

    Part of my reasoning about ending the relationship was his lack of responsibility and lack of drive. I'm not a materialistic person, however I do have certain goals, and having 4 or more toys in the garage instead of saving to own my own home wasn't one of them. I used to live with him, and while I was in school, he paid the rent and utilities. I paid my own bills, and didn't purchase anything frivolous, as I found that would be rude of me. He became unemployed during the time I was living with him and spend over 1K on yet another toy (he already had a sports car, a truck, and a motorcycle.) We got into an argument and he continually threw into my face the fact that it was his money and that I didn't pay any bills as it was. Where I was looking at the big, long term picture, he was always looking at the immediate gratification.

    Sooooo, to make a long story short, I recently learned he just invested even MORE money into yet another toy to put into a garage that doesn't belong to him, instead of saving towards a house. He's nearly 30 years old, and has nothing but "toys" in his name.

    I feel bad for him, and happy that I made the right decision.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's good that each of you went your own way.

    Even better that you're so satisfied with your decision. Hopefully he is as well.
     
  3. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    it's important to remember that both of your outlooks on life are ok - just different, and seemingly conflicting.

    when we gasp our last breath, we can't take any toys, or "sound investments" with us.

    that being said, your differing outlooks seem to be one of perhaps many conflicts that grew to the point of there being no compromise.

    one of my younger brothers lives in denver, and will be 35 in June. he's got a lifted blazer, and a vfr800. spends a load of his free time (and money?) doing recreational hobbies, such as snow boarding, riding, going out, working out, and playing hockey, and whoring around.

    he's renting part of a house with a room-mate, and seems happy enough. he loves kids, but loves himself more, and still isn't ready to settle down.

    :dunno:

    I do know that too many of us in society place an emphasis on "being responsible", putting money away for a fancy house, and/or investments. but if all of that feels too much like a cage, or chains, then it won't make one happy, in fact like my brother quite miserable.

    that all being said I hope at least that you two were able to end it on relatively good terms.
     
  4. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    We had a decent break up, though for awhile he was quite angry with me, said I was only breaking up with him because he didn't have enough money, and that I would live to regret it. :dunno:

    I know that what I want out of life isn't what everyone else wants out of life, and that's ok. But it just became painfully obvious that the two of us weren't after the same things, and certain things are extremely important to me.

    And I'm not "being responsible" to have a fancy house or investments, I'm saving to have a house so that I can have what's important to me in the future - lots of pets, and a couple of kids. :)

    It's not bad what your brother is doing. I don't try to compare myself to others, thinking, look at that 35 y/o guy. He's that old, and has nothing but toys, and has nothing planned for the future. I think everyone needs to look at what's important to them, and plan for that.
     
  5. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    :werd:

    I just wanted to point out that yes, people have different goals and different priorities for things. in another thread, everyone was :ugh: ing to the 27 year old girl that wanted to go to cancun with her 38 yr old friend.

    fact is that people/priorities change.
     
  6. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :) awesome... good for you...

    i love hearing people learn something from their experiences. that's what life's all about. and yes, ryebread, you are correct. there is no "standard" of living. sure, many people want the "american dream," but not necessarily everyone.
     
  7. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    It's ok to have toys. If that's what he wants, there's nothing wrong with it. Not everyone wants pets and kids. At least he has what he wants. Do you?
     
  8. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    I'm not saying it's bad to have toys. :) But I don't want all toys and nothing else. I want pets, and I want kids, and no, I don't have them now, but I will have the pets (at least) within a year, along with my house, and the kids'll come later. :)
     
  9. Soju N Coke

    Soju N Coke New Member

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    dunno lol
    i think you were just disgusted on how he was living his life with materialistic things compared to how you were more focused on school and the future. When things like that happen you tend to get turned off by your bf/gf because they are not on the same level.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2005
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :werd:

    I've dated girls before who were on a completely different list of priorities than me. To me, family is first, then happiness, then onto things like money and possessions...

    most girls my age, money/posessions is tops.... and they usually don't get me
     

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