SRS Just heard today that my best friend of 30 years' gf is cheating on him

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by The Green Bastard, Aug 3, 2008.

  1. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    and he knows, and doesn't seem to care. They've been living together for the past 9 years.

    How do you talk to someone about a problem like this?
     
  2. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    you don't. if he wants to talk let him come to you
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    He knows about it and is making a choice to live with the knowledge. You HAVE to respect his wishes, I mean not everyone is going to your definition of normalcy.

    One of the people closest to me had his wife cheat on him yet he didn't kick her to the curb like I would have. He wanted to work it out and she wanted to change. She fucked up and realized it was a huge mistake. I couldn't understand this at the time and thought...holy crap, how can he do that. He said he didn't want to leave her because he still loved her and she wanted to change. Sure he was hurt and thought many times about leaving but he hung in there.

    That was many years ago, they are still together and by they are one of the happiest couples I know. They have a great life and a great relationship. They're happy and enjoying life and they've put this behind them. I never thought it was possible but they've taught me that people can overcome a lot and that my ideas about the way things work aren't always right. I'm really happy I was wrong in this regard.
     
  4. Poet Soul

    Poet Soul New Member

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    Stay out of it.
     
  5. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :sad2: I guess it really is none of my business....and I was in a similar state a few years back, myself, and nobody came to me about it until it was all over.


    I'm not good in situations like this lol. :hs:
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well in all fairness, you could bring it up and say something like, "Look I've heard something, do you know about this, are you ok with this?" If he says no he didn't know, you've just told him and perhaps ruined his relationship, if he did and he's ok with it, then let it go. It's his relationship and life.

    The way I approach my friends now is out of support. I try to support their choices instead of influencing them or making their choices for them. It's a much nicer way to live and my relationships have deepened because of it.
     
  7. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :) Thanks!
     
  8. RedZ71

    RedZ71 Large Marge sent me.

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    hey at least you cared enough about your friend, to ask about the proper way to bring it up. just the fact that your conflicted about it, and want to do what ever is the right thing, surely means that hes truly an important friend to you.
     
  9. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    Well, he moved in pretty much next door to me when we were 3-4 years old and have been best friends since.

    I moved away from my home town but we do keep in touch.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Some people handle things differently. Even though they are not married they've been together longer than some married couples. When infidelity is a one time thing some people push right on through it and turn their efforts into not caring and making the relationship stronger.

    If it upsets you and you think he secretly could need an ear to listen then talk to him. You can always support him. You don't have to bash his gf necessarily, just ask what he's thinking, how he's dealing, etc.
     
  11. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    Well, he's standing with me in my wedding in a couple weeks -- I hope he's ok enough to keep his promise to stand.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hs: good luck yourself
     
  13. SirBoss7

    SirBoss7 Life is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy t

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    That's really good advice. I'll try to remember this.
     

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