SRS Just gave up on 4 years

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Luciano, Sep 27, 2004.

  1. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    Well guys,

    After almost 4 and a half years, i ate a methadone today. I dont know what to say. I guess ill start over.
     
  2. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    :sad2: its alright. don't dwell in relapse but instead focus on returning to sobriety / clean time. Relapse can shock us into maybe realizing that we needed to change things about how we thought we could do things.

    IM sorry to hear that, but I know you can pick up the pieces again. Do you have an NA basic text? There is an excellent chapter on relapse and recovery.
     
  3. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    Yeah i do. Right now i want to focus on not feeling like this. I am not a well person right now....i just feel really really sick to my stomach, and my head. I cannot believe that i did this to myself again. I just want to go to sleep.
     
  4. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    You're only human, don't be too hard on yourself... and like you said, try again.

    Best of luck.
     
  5. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    Thanks y'all.

    Im finally coming out of this fog. Im pretty disappointed in everything and my wife is pretty disappointed as well. Looks like things will get back to normal.
    I got a pretty strong group here that i reason the Bible with. Theyre pretty strong family. Bless yall for taking time. The more youre on somebodys thoughts, you know...
    Peace
     
  6. It's alright, hon. Check out the NA basic text. That should help some. People make mistakes. Try again. I wish you luck. You're in my thoughts.
     
  7. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    I think you may have relapsed, but there is no way you gave up. If you gave up you wouldn't be telling us. So, follow the suggestions, go to meetings, read the books, work the steps, get a sponsor, the only requirement for membership in any 12 step group is the desire to stop using, and here I think we just show up. Since you came back to tell us, how have you been doing? Glad the fog is lifting.
     
  8. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    I've been doing great, which is the main reason that i am confused. Absolutley everyting in my life is blessed...for my family to our finances.....we have food to eat and a roof over our heads. Blessed. But when i was offered a pill, i ate it without thinking twice. I have been turning away from temptation for years without event. Everytime, i would say thanks but no thanks.
    My group just found out that one person in the group has been lying to all of us and using morphine. Just lying right to our faces when asked about it. He just finished his withdrawls about a week ago, and we all had a discussion with him. You cannot walk in the light and in darkness at the same time. Man cannot serve two masters, he will love one and hate the other, or vice versa.
    I hurt knowing i disappointed my wife more than anything, but she is an incredibly supportive and understanding person. That doesnt make it ok, but at least she loves me and hates my addiction...you know.
     
  9. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    good, try going to some/more NA meetings, unfortunately, our addict is there always waiting for that vulnerable point in our lives when our guard is down, and we forget what it used to be like. Keep on coming back and checking in.
     
  10. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    thanks y'all
     
  11. Phish Esq.

    Phish Esq. New Member

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    Hope it's going alright man. I have 3 1/2 years and lately have had some of the most intense cravings and preoccupation I can remember. I've got to start focusing on myself again. It seems in a way, the further along in sobriety I get, the further I get from recovery. I feel bad for you, but you in turn have helped me. It sounds as though you have a loving wife and have alot going for you. Keep at it.
     
  12. bottomline

    bottomline Guest

    So sorry dude. Hope you get better.
     
  13. Luciano

    Luciano Guest

    Thanks again, Blessings
     

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