Just found out my girlfriend's "guy friend" is trying to hook up w/her

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by kgkern01, Jul 23, 2006.

  1. kgkern01

    kgkern01 New Member

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    My girlfriend who I've known for about a year and a half and just starting dating seriously about April, has a friend Sean who moved back in town not too long ago. I've met him when he first came back in town, but now I found out that he has other motives than just being friends with her. For example, he came in my bar (I'm a bartender) with a few other people after our last call last night while we were cleaning, and he was acting strange. I said "what's up" to him, but he seemed to act like he didnt hear me, so at the time I thought nothing of it. Well tonight, about an hour ago, we get home and my girlfriend is getting sick and her text messages go off, so she wants me to look and see if its her brother texting her, since he was out also. Well, turns out it was that guy Sean and of the 2 messages, the first said you should come see me, then the next one said "why don't we start fucking?". So I told her it's not her brother, but rather Sean and I read the message to her. She had a blank look on her face and said "i'm not the one doing anything wrong" and "I'm not and would never cheat on you", and "I wouldnt do anything to mess this up, I won't let that happen". I would be more hesitant to believe her if we weren't together 7 days and nights a week.

    As far as this asshole Sean goes, how should I deal with him? Should I:
    A: Sit there and make her confront him where I can hear or see by phone or in person?
    B: Should I text him back from her phone saying something like "This is (my name), you're not going to be fucking while she's dating me asshole so you need to stay the fuck away from her"
    C: Do that from my phone instead of hers
    D: Confront him in person or by calling from my phone
    E: Other (suggestions please)

    I trust my girl, but I don't trust this guy. Friends of opposite sex don't call after about 1 am for anything other than a booty call, for a ride, or to make sure they are home ok, am I right?
     
  2. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    be very polite about it, by that I mean do no cuss do not swear, confront him in any form you feel necessary and say it wont be happening. Be VERY polite about this your girlfriend will know if you threaten sean and she probably would not react kindly about it.

    Now if he gets all huffed up tell him a quick fuck off and head the other direction. After that he knows where you stand where she stands and what you both know and you have no reason to bother with it anymore unless you seriously think somethings going to happen.
     
  3. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    If you trust your g/f then that's enough. The only way he's going to get any action is if he rapes her, and then you remove his testicles with a rusty knife.

    There are 2 schools of thought with this.. You can either politely tell him to fuck off, which will either make him stop or simply become more secretive (and depending on how you do it could make you appear jealous and insecure), OR you can simply monitor it and if there's any suspicious activity you demand to know what's going on and if your g/f doesn't sound like she's being totally honest, dump her.

    Personally I'd be asking her to tell him to back off, as it's her friend (and I'm not the kind of person to start busting heads :mamoru: ). Failing that I'd get her permission to reply using her phone "This is ___'s boyfriend. Forget it."

    but then, I haven't had a g/f in >5 years so what do I know :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  4. Wckd2

    Wckd2 OT Supporter

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    WEll I trusted my GF but not the guy back in OCT. We are now no longer together adn she is with him. We were together for four years. Not saying you are screwed but well, be careful
     
  5. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    depends what level you're playing at.

    if your g/f is still immature then you should take ownership of her and kick his arse.

    if your g/f is mature and marriage potential then who gives a fuck what he tries. if she's the right one for you she won't stray.

    so if you're not sure where you stand with her, do nothing. it'll be a great test of whether she's worthy. if you want to continue hitting it for now then tell him to fuck off.
     
  6. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    gotta agree with kinks....I have a VERY CLOSE female friend...and I Mean VERY CLOSE....but doesn't mean anything....nothing is going to come of it. Cause it is not the same....anyway...yeah, you should be fine if you are in a true relationship.

    But, talk to her, maybe she doesn't even fully notice
     
  7. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    most of your girlfrend's "guy friends" are probably trying to hook up with her :hs:
     
  8. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Stay above the fray. Getting worked up or confronting him only shows that you are insecure.
     
  9. gk1998

    gk1998 OT Supporter

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  10. sk0rcher

    sk0rcher The universe is watching

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  11. Bigsnake

    Bigsnake OT Supporter

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    What I was thinking.
     
  12. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    F (since E was skipped)
     
  13. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Especially considering what she said...if you did much, it would show that you don't trust her. It doesn't mean that you complete ignore things. Keep your eyes peeled, but don't bring it up really with her, unless you notice something in particular that you feel she needs to know...she seems to be on the same wavelength as you are
     
  14. The Mafia

    The Mafia New Member

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    I'd usually whack him, he sounds like a disrespectful sleeze.

    But now that I think of it. Tell her politely that you are concerned about him showing lack of respect for her by treating her like a booty call, and by not respecting that you are with her.

    But also say that you will leave her to tell him that she isn't interested AT ALL. If he persists, ask her if you may message him. If he still persists, maybe then think about confronting him.

    Then do my favourite thing. Bring the smack down on the motherfuckers head until he's crying for you to stop. That might teach him for trying on someone elses woman. Then he might also not do it to the next guys g\f he decides to have a crack at.

    Oh, and go for a kidney shot. I've always wanted to do that.
     
  15. Schproda

    Schproda New Member

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    I wouldn't just want to kick his ass right now but it's blatant disrespect and you need to ask him to back the hell up. I'd also see how willing she is to tell him that she isn't interested and that he's wasting his time. If she doesn't, there could be issues.
     
  16. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    real simple.. if you trust her, tell her so. And then ASK her how you think you BOTH should handle it.
     
  17. JJDiri

    JJDiri New Member

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    Personally, I'd confront him myself in person and be threatening about it. If he pushes, I'll push back. And win.
     
  18. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    That's what I propoably would do too even though it's propoably not the 'right' thing to do.
     
  19. armond

    armond New Member

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    You really need to talk to her about this guy. Ask her to see it from your side and realize that he is basically disrespecting the relationship that you two have... I mean, he knows about you two right? So he should know what is off bounds.

    I was in a similar situation. Except I was this sean character. But I respected my current g/f's position. Me and her were best friends since we were like 14, and we always were just that, friends. Then one year I started to have feelings for her, but I didn't say anything till she was single for a bit, then I said what was on my mind. In fact I even tried to help her ex out my telling Sue(current g/f) not to take some of things he does too personally, but see it from his side.

    But that is the difference between me and that sean guy. I respected the relationship and I waited till she decided it was over. I didn't try to get in the way.
     
  20. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    don't skirt around the issue.. are you inside or outside the hole? ;)
     
  21. goobarr

    goobarr pho king naice

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    i'd try and get his side of the story as well?
    i mean your gf can say one thing to calm you down,
    but how about the dude's side?
    i mean would he just out of no where just text her that?
    unless he's been having a thing for her, idk.

    goodluck man.
     
  22. GSRwBOOST

    GSRwBOOST New Member

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    reply with your own text message and say "your fucked now anyway because it's not her that read this message you piece of shit"....

    and then go kick his ass.
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Hmm...Noone else seemed to even pick up on the fact that the girl asked him to read her text messages. IMO this was all planned out. Your girl is fucking with you and using this dude to help her. I think she just wanted to see how you'd react.

    Sounds like early 20s drama to me....meh. Older women FTMFW!!
     
  24. wallydog11

    wallydog11 New Member

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    I doubt that..

    if anything, I think your gf isn't doing anything secretive with him at all..If she was, she wouldn't have asked you to read her text msgs. I wouldn't say anything to serious to the gf, but talk to the guy about it...somethings not right with him.
     
  25. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    NO, that is the point I was making...we are super close and cuddle up and see one another naked and blah blah blah...but, we don't do anything sexual. Just not the point and no need to.
     

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