SRS Just For Today ~ May 4th ~ What about the newcomers? (Participation thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Demon Of Dreams, May 4, 2005.

  1. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    I'm going to start doing these at random... I'd love for some people to share, if possible... this one means a bit to me because I miss my home group... :hs:

    "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry the message to the addict who still suffers"
    Tradition Five

    Our home group means a lot to us. After all, where would we be without our favorite NA meeting? Our home group members get together to see a movie or go bowling. We have all made good friendships through our home group, and we wouln't trade that warmth for the world.

    But sometimes we must take inventory of what our group is doing to fulfill its primary purpose - to carry the message to the still-suffering addict. SOmetimes when we go to our meetings, we know almost everyone and get caught up in the laughter and fun. But what about the newcomer? Have we remembered to reach out to the new people who may be sitting by themselves, lonely and frightened? Do we remember to welcome those visitng our group?

    The love found in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous helps us recover from addiction. But once we have gotten clean, we must remember to give to others what was so freely given to us. We need to reach out to the addict who still suffers. After all, "the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting".

    Just for today: I'm grateful for the warm fellowship I've found in my home group. I will reach out my hand to the still-suffering addict, offering that same fellowship to others.
     
  2. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    the reason I chose to post this one is because I miss my home group very much. The faces of people I have known in the program since I was in puberty... Some of them have more years clean than I've been alive (or damn close to it) ... some of them were friends of my uncle when he was alive, many of them have been in that group for quite some time. But the newcomers, there were many, and when I got clean, I became one, not just that bratty little shit who tagged along with his mother or uncle, but the one who grew up and finally needed help, and just knew where to look. My mother was one too, after she relapsed, she eventually went back to become a newcomer herself.

    The help was always there, we both knew it, however we chose not to use it.
    But there are people who entered that home group during that time, who weren't scared away from the crosstalking, the giggling corner, and all the weird fucking people in the name. Even the name of the group didn't scare them off (Gropers, not Dopers... yes, people in that group grope a lot of people ;) ) . They stuck around, and became one, and those who left and came back were welcomed as well.

    My mother got clean the same day as another couple did, Sam and Kelly, they've become great friends to my mother and to everyone else in the program, I mean after a couple of years, why the fuck not? They were always polite, always shared openly, and held nothing back when they were talking.

    I never spoke much in the meetings, atleast not to the group. I spoke with individuals, or sat in the corner with the crosstalkers, but still taking in the entire meeting. My recovery was started in that corner, the message of the meeting to me was clear, however, finding friendships with everyone, new and old, was something that helped immensely.

    This forum, when I started it, and now that it has lasted, is my contribution to newcomers old and new. I fought for this forum to be on OT, because I never really contributed to my home group the way I know I should have, I never spoke unless picked, and even then I said very little. The reason I do things in this forum, and my intentions for this forum, was to find the newcomers, help them out, and give a place for those of us who were once newcomers ourselves a place kind of away from everything, to be more or less truely anonymous. What's easier than expressing yourself in words when you're typing? Nothing... you can let your mind flow freely and not one person in this forum who is dedicated to recovery, will bash you, judge you or otherwise, regardless of your beliefs or gender or whatever.

    I've enjoyed having eligh and nukegoat helping out with this forum and i've been happy with the progress of it, though I don't post much.

    We want a safe place for those in recovery, or looking to be in recovery. For some, this may be the best place to start, gain some knowledge, then go into a meeting with a bit more in mind than the typical newcomer. We're here to help, and we want to help.
     
  3. anomaly

    anomaly If you weren't around for the original HA.net spli

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    I see it all the time, go to a step meeting, once it's made known there is a new comer, it's back to step one. I chair a meeting and whenI see someone I don't know, I ask if there is anyone new to the meeting or AA (don't really go to NA, just a personal preference in meeting styles here) as a whole.
     
  4. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Yes, this is good stuff. Good to see you posting more and more, I'm glad you posted that Just For Today, I actually left my apartment in such a rush I didn't have time to read it. Now I'm at work and I've got more time, it's a good reading.

    I guess my experience is a little different than yours, I would share to the entire group occasionally (depending on how comfortable I felt) and talked with many people one on one before/after or during the break. However, I found it difficult to make very many friendships outside of meetings. I guess I just didn't reach out much (plus I always considered myself different because I went to college).

    I have a home group, but I'm not sure I really always feel a warm fellowship with too many people. I know a few of them decently well, but it seems like oftentimes I talk to people I don't know as well to try and learn a little bit about everyone. In this way I usually get to talk to the newcomers one way or another. I'm beginning to feel more comfortable reaching my hand out as time goes on though.

    Demon, it's really not too late to become involved again. You'd really be a newcomer (just one with a few years clean time), and I'm sure you'd get an opportunity to meet a lot of new people. If you miss the fellowship you once had, seek it out again. An addict alone is an addict in bad company. This forum is great, but in my opinion it's like icing on the cake of a solid program, not a primary source of recovery. It's also a great way for newcomers to reach out more anonymously.
     
  5. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    oh I know its not too late... Just really haven't wanted to do it... my recovery is work and going to the gym, I really don't do anything else :rofl:

    I miss the fellowship I grew up with, to me, Gropers is my family... hard to replace that with a new one... in time I'll eventually do it, but for now, focusing on the parts of my life I never got to experience is something I need to do (living on my own, supporting myself 100%, etc) ... it's keeping me sober because its a learning experience, but a good one...

    after awhile i'll look into going to meetings down here again... I'll have 4 years clean so I'll have to do it again soon, that 5th is a bitch or so I've been told ;)
     
  6. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    I've been told by many people in the fellowship that if I don't put my recovery first, I'll lose it. Going to the gym is nice, but it doesn't really substitute for recovery, it's just part of living life. I'd say R2R is more your recovery than work or going to the gym, as much as contact with any other recovering addicts you know is.

    Living on your own and being independent is great, I'll be glad when I can do it (which hopefully will be in a few months) I'm sure it will be an incredible learning experience, but I'm not sure it'll keep me clean. I think I'll rely a little more on meetings at that point, and will seek advice from others in the fellowship about life issues.

    Honestly, right now I attend about 2-3 meetings a week and it takes about 5 hours of my week. There are 168 hours in a week. Those 5 hours are more of a learning experience than the rest of my weekly activities. So will you have 4 years soon? You should go back in time to get your cake and have em sing you a b-day song.
     
  7. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    while it is important to put recovery first... I view it as my recovery... i rarely went to the gym... I've cleansed myself of soda once again and have been eating much healthier than I have been in a long while... its part of my progression... I'm replacing things with better things...setting goals, etc. Living my life wasn't really doing much to begin with... if I were just living my life I'd still be leaching off of somebody ... lol

    this is the first time in my recovery where I'll be doing everything on my own (except the recovery thing, wasn't ever really alone on it). But yeah, R2R is more my recovery basis than anything else has been lately. though I was neglecting it, i'm back for now :) my posting in here again is helping me with a few things.

    I might go to World in hawaii ... not 100% sure yet, but its a possibility. :o still tossing the idea around
     
  8. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Yeah, world in Hawaii, I'd go if I felt a little bit more financially independent. I need a job to gain independence and pay off my student loans, I don't think I'll have enough money by the time world comes around, when is it?
     
  9. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    NA World is September 1-4, 2005
    go to NA.org for more info
    airfare should (hopefully) go down in price soon, hotel rooms aren't that expensive (lots of cheap hotels in Honolulu, you don't have to use the hotels on the NA site.
     

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