SRS Just For Today ~ January 8th ~ Growing Up

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Demon Of Dreams, Jan 9, 2004.

  1. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    "Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."Basic Text, p. 43

    When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "Grown Up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grownups yet. We check our lives and es, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grownups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.

    Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growrth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things ot provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have a lot of growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation our opportunities for growth are limitless.

    Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extend which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.
     
  2. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    I opted for this one because its something I can relate to for the last few weeks... I know its the 9th, but yesterdays reading seemed to be something more people would understand if they read through it... ..

    Unfortunately, for all the growing up in and around NA I've done, I haven't grown up to the point where I can actually say "yes, I've grown up, I have responsibilities that I need to take care of" etc... while I don't have children, or even a job as of yet, the responsibilities are still there because I've not chosen to grow up enough to deal with them... I know deep down I do need a job and I am trying to get one, however I am also afraid, like a child almost, that if I get a job, what if I am no good? what if I fuck it up? what happens if something happens and I can't deal with it well? I've never been one for responsibility at that level... the longest I've been employed was around 4 months, and it was a job I absolutely could not fuck up, and if I did fuck it up, it wasn't something that would cost anything, because the business was based on profit, charging whatever was needed to make the most out of something bought at a minimum... making t-shirts? yeah I fucked up a few shirts when I was there, but the shirts cost so little and the ink cost so little that it could be redone because the shirts were in stock... making coffee or espresso? yeah if I fucked it up, the customer would let me know and I could learn from that mistake and get it right the next go around, because it costs so little to make a 20oz espresso, but you make so much off of it anyway...

    I'm afraid of a different job, because I've never done much of anything before, I have experience in tons of things, but putting it towards a paying job? I get scared, because to me, with my lack of actual work experience, I know there are a lot of qualified and overqualified people who can take those jobs as well.

    I do take pride however, in knowing that I will pass any drug test they throw at me... and while that isn't much, its something, and it provides something to work off of...

    I just hope when the time comes, I'll have grown up enough in a short amount of time to make something worthwhile of the job, because I don't want to be grouped into a dumbass category... I want to be something successful, I want to be doing something I enjoy and can take pride in doing... and thats hard to find...

    I also know I need to go back to school... not now, but soon, and I have to find something I am good at before I can make my decision in what I do for school... and again, that scares me...

    I have years of growing up to do in a short amount of time... and I just hope I can get it done, otherwise, I don't have much going for me
     
  3. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    I know it is... thats why I went with it :hs:
     

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