SRS just feeling very down, long story

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bobbarker70, Apr 30, 2005.

  1. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    at the beginning of high school, i got real depressed and got heavily into cokaine, pot, alcohol, etc. i was kicked out of catholic school my freshman year for all that, my mom and my stepdad split, and we ltierally went to poverty line poor. i was put into a hospital for treatment for bipolar and other things, and my life was quite in shambles.

    fortunately i changed schools in my dads district, kicked drugs, and took medicine for my mental illness. when i changed schools, i met the most amazing music teacher that changed my life. i got havily involed in musicals band, choir, and he helped me discover a talent i never thought i had. i got all the leads in the msuicals, and a member from the broadway theatre league saw one of my performnces and actaully gave me an award in the broadway theatre leagues stars of tomorrow program, in competition with students/kids all over the country. i also have a big stuttering problem, which i overcame by doing msuicals. local newsstations were calling my house, i was admired and loved by everyone. i made my family so proud that i finally made something out of a shitty situation. no drug could reproduce my happiness at the time.

    then i got out of high school, and things got weird. i stopped taking my meds, and at first i did fine. but then i applied late for the school of my choice so im forced to goto a community college for music ed. i hate it there and im miserable. my gf of a year, dumped me for anotehr guy, and ive started doing drugs again. all my friends are into drugs now, and all they do is pressure me to do it cause itll loosen me up. everyday i just get more and more depressed. i sleep less than 4 hours a nite. my grades are slipping. i promised myself id never feel the way i did then, and im doing it. all i can do is sit in my bathroom and cry about nothing. i smoked cigarettes now too and tis effected my singing. i dont have a license, and im unemployed. im in this spiraling circle of dispair and i cant get out of it.

    does anyone know how i can remotely get back on track or where to start? im desperate at this point. i cant live like this anymore.
     
  2. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    go see a therapist. sounds like you cant get out of this on your own.
     
  3. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    agreed... also consider going back on meds.... since in the past they did work, there's no telling how much of an improvement they can make when you get back on them.
     
  4. Bean

    Bean Guest

    Hey, I just posted to this thread, what happened to it?
     
  5. Bean

    Bean Guest

    I basically said it might be a good idea to look into getting help from county mental health, they'll cover meds if you need to go back on them.

    I strongly advise going back on meds.
     
  6. Killgunner

    Killgunner OT Supporter

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    I personally think that you should find that something that interests you, and do it all the time and get better at it... Be it a job or anything else that will pass the time, work on getting your drivers license and make goals such as working enough to pay off a car and go out on your weekends and look for another relationship. I think you need stability in your life without all the partying and drugs. I know I used to be a big pothead in high school and as much FUN as I was having doing that stuff, drugs fucked my entire high school existance up completely. If I were you I would focus on good things and avoid the use of drugs as a way of escape, I think you'll think more clearly without them and be able to hold a good job.
     
  7. dolphinmagic

    dolphinmagic New Member

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    Get rid of your "friends". They are doing you NO good. People with depression and or are bipolar can not seem to kick the habit of drugs. I've lived with it (my brother) and it only seems to get worse.

    Unless you want to hit rock bottom, lose the friends, get a part time job just to get a little money and kill some time and deal with the school you have left. Even if it's just the quarter or so and then apply where you want.

    Quit smoking so you can sing! You found something that you were so obviously great with and you're going to ruin that?

    Good luck with everything - This will not be easy but it seems like you know what you have to do. ~S
     
  8. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    thatnks guys. you all gave great advice. i appreciate it
     

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