LGBT Just came out

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by D-FENS, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    Or at least started to come out, I just told two of my best friends today I'm bi, and to feel free to spread the news. I felt like that was the best way to go about it, since I'd like the information to be out there since I didn't like keeping it a secret, but I don't want to be sending out mass texts of "OMG HAY GUYZ IM GAY!!1!"

    It feels good to be out, not having to worry about keeping it a secret. I knew all of my friends would be accepting, I think my only worry was just about how it would influence peoples' view of me as the manly man I'm known to be, but I figure everyone knows me well enough that they'll still see me as Steve the mountain man much more than Steve the bisexual.

    So, now that I'm out, where the hell does a 6'6"/290lb lumberjack/bear like me go about meeting other masculine men? I'm really not into the club scene or any of that, and I still have until April before I'm 21 so I'd assume most bars are out. Is anything online actually worthwhile? I looked on craigslist but they all seem like a bunch of freaks, not that I necessarily call for months of dating and a candlelight dinner before sex, but I'd like something a bit more personal than laying face down in a cheap motel room and having random dudes come in and fuck me.
     
  2. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    :mamoru: gays are such whores

    20 year old lumberjack! :eek3: PICS!

    i'm only attracted to masc guys, too. I have a few bi friends, but that's all I've found in the dating/fucking realm... I don't know where to look either :o
     
  3. DouggieJ

    DouggieJ OT Supporter

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    x2 :x:
     
  4. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    Pics x3
     
  5. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    Well now that I'm out to my friends and not worried about someone seeing me here... why the hell not? My apologies for the shitty quality, the only pictures I have of myself are ones tagged by my friends from facebook.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Seriously though, where do you fellow bears go to meet guys? I'm not necessarily looking for a full time relationship, but I'd certainly like to establish some sort of friendly ongoing thing. I'm in the Phoenix area, going to ASU. I'm hoping that as the news of my coming out spreads among my friends, perhaps one of them will come to me and tell me they're interested, but I'm only really into 3-4 of my guy friends anyways, so chances are pretty slim.
     
  6. DouggieJ

    DouggieJ OT Supporter

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    Nice.

    I wish I knew myself (I probably wouldn't be sitting here now if I did), there are some bear bars around here I imagine there are too in Phoenix, but you said you're not 21 yet.
     
  7. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I know there are some gay groups here on campus, but from what I've seen from their flyers and booths and whatnot, they're all feminine types. Nothing against them, but if I want to fuck someone feminine, I'd rather fuck a woman.
     
  8. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    cute guy :wavey:

    facebook/myspace?

    also, www.bear411.com
    a lot of guys are only on that site to hook up but you might meet someone.

    but here's a list of bars once you're 21. if you're confident enough you might try to just walk in a bar. i know some under 21s that do that here but remember what the consequences might be.

    http://www.yelp.com/reviews/12_Phoenix_AZ/gaybars_page_0.html
     
  9. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    Cute? Come on, I bend rebar with my bare hands, I carry boulders up mountains, I split wood faster than anyone else in town, that's not cute!


    :love:


    http://www.facebook.com/bbqbacon
    If you're gonna add me, just let me know you're from OT so I know you're not some random bot or something.
    I'm out for the most part and you're welcome to talk about gayness as long as it just has a slight joking tone to it and your not completely obvious, all my friends and former co-workers and I made a plenty of gay jokes/references before I came out so it's not a huge deal. It's just that I still volunteer with my old Boy Scout troop and work at the camps now and then, so I'm friends with some of the council leaders on there, they don't make a big deal out of enforcing the gay or atheist policies, but it would certainly be best not to have "HAY IM AN OPENLY HOMOSEXUAL MAN INVOLVED WITH THE BOY SCOUTS" all over my facebook.
     
  10. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    You're a very handsome man.

    Congratulations on coming out. You'll find that, the more people you tell, the happier you'll be. It's freeing. You don't have to switch pronouns when talking to people. You don't have to be exhausted from lying or hiding who you are.

    BIG HUGS!


    Regarding dating, I found a lot of luck from match.com

    I also relied on my friends setting me up on dates. And I met a couple of nice guys at parties. In the end, I found my partner on myspace, oddly enough (when myspace was popular a few years back). He contacted me based on our mutual love of Ani DiFranco (a folk-rocker). And we talked for a while online and then met up. We actually were friends for about six months before beginning to date.

    So, there are different paths to dating for each of us. I had absolutely no luck with bear411 because I enjoy talking to men about substantial topics and having meaningful conversations, and most men on there prefer to speak in one-word sentences. And when a man opens with "woof", I lose all interest.
     
  11. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Congrats, stud! Good to hear that you finally did it...
     
  12. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    That just made me think of
    [​IMG]
    Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!
     
  13. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    it's quite true, but i have had conversations with people there, which led to meeting at a bar for drinks or for a dinner.
    stating clearly in your profile what you're on the site for can help.
     
  14. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    the link is not working for me
    here's mine http://www.facebook.com/omnibot80

    i have a few friends from phoenix, i'll ask them if they have any suggestions for you.
     
  15. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I met a few nice guys from the site as well. Two I still call close friends. I guess I don't give bear411 enough credit. It served it's purpose at the time I was on it, which was to meet new people, make new friends, go on a couple of dates, and get laid.
     
  16. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    So I said what the hell and posted an ad on craigslist, while I got quite a few of the typical "hey bro u sound hot lets fuck tonight u gotta wear a blindfold tho i gotta b discreet" bullshit; to my surprise, I actually got 2 responses from guys who both actually seemed like pretty decent people who actually read my post. Thing is, they're both in their early forties. Both were pretty attractive, but... I'm kind of wierded out by the idea of being with a guy whos over 20 years older than me, at least for my first time. But at the same time, I feel like I can justify it since I know any guy my age would certainly jump at the opportunity to bang a hot MILF in her 40s. I'll give it some time and think about it.
     
  17. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    When I was in middle and high school, I messed with a lot of older guys... Most of those guys were really going through the same shit as I was--dealing with minority sexual feelings and trying to come to terms with who they were. Now that I'm in my mid twenties (and am very comfortable with who I am), I still tend to prefer guys 5-10 years older than myself. Something about having a man, instead of a boy, that really turns me on.

    My experience is that CL is for hooking up only. But if you've found people there who would like to connect in more than a physical level, congrats! And as fucked up as it may sound, if you are not attracted to older men, then you are not attracted to them. You're allowed to be picky with who you let enter your body/who's body you enter. However you did say that they were both pretty attractive, so I would think your hang-up is social. Fuck what people see or say; this is your life. Do what you want to do, as long as it doesn't unjustly impact someone else's life.

    Good luck, and keep us posted on what you opt to do.
     
  18. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I definitely am attracted to older guys, but I'm just hung up on the idea of my first time being with someone so much older than I am. Just looking at it from the perspective as if I was going to be with an older woman, now that I've lost my virginity with a girl my age who I had a short relationship with, I would definitely jump at the chance to broaden my horizons get together with a hot older woman, but I don't know if I'd really be willing to lose my virginity to someone so much older.

    Even if we get along great and have alot in common, I just feel like no matter what it wouldn't feel as personal as if I was to be with someone closer to my age for my first time. After I've had my "break-in" so to speak, I have no problem with the idea of getting together with an older guy, but I'm just not too keen on losing my (gay) virginity to someone with such an age gap.

    But then again, the girl I lost my virginity to was crazy, tried to drown herself in my pool when I wouldn't say "I love you" after only 4 weeks of dating, and was recently prostituting herself on craigslist at the age of 18, so losing my gay virginity to a sane cool older guy certainly couldn't be any worse than the loss of my straight virginity :hsd:
     
  19. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    come to CA, i would gladly help you out :naughty:

    and don't worry, i won't try to drown myself if you reject me, so don't feel pressured.

    srsly, wtf? that's crazy.
     
  20. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    It just came out a little of a year ago and I was/somewhat am the same way. There is alot that you are possibly but off about the first time that you see or experience. As with everything in life though, the more you are around it, the more common place it becomes. Just take it slow and ease yourself into the whole community.
     
  21. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    Novo can probably squeez you in for a date in three months or so, but he is worth it :naughty:

    For reals though if you ever got to SF (and i highly suggest you do) he is your go to guy. And he is such a sweet heart :kiss:
     
  22. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    crazy bitches FTL

    I doubt I'm gonna make it to CA any time soon, but you come to Phoenix and we have a deal :p
     
  23. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    id be weary of people talking ish for me. id rather tell people myself.
     
  24. geniks

    geniks king of the hill

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    congrats on coming out - feel refreshed?

    I attained a fake ID and started going out to bars at the age of 18 and felt immediately better about being gay... It re-enforced that all gays aren't feminine after meeting so many people. Not that i would ever suggest doing such illegal acts - i'm sure you have some 18+ clubs around there to go and meet people.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2009
  25. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I've been telling most of the people I consider my close friends, but when it comes to aquaintances I only really talk to if I happen to run into them at the supermarket or at a party, I'd rather let them hear the news through the grapevine. I'd feel like kind of an attention whore calling/texting/IMing a bunch of people I haven't seen/talked to in a year or more and saying "HAY WHATS UP IM BI"
     

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