Just broke up with the gf

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I had to do it via email at work. I'll post the background story and emails in a bit.

    :wtc::wtc::wtc::wtc::wtc:

    **********UPDATED POST 18*********
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2006
  2. hondaluva

    hondaluva likes free hugs...

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    why email?
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    No chance to see her in person and I couldn't do it over the phone. I have to run to a meeting now. I'll post background and stuff around 11:45 CST. I've known this was coming for a while now, but it sucks now that it's actually here. Hopefully you guys will tell me I made the right decision after I post all the details here.
     
  4. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Breaking up over e-mail is super lame.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    My meeting ran long. Now I have to go to another meeting. I haven't forgotten.

    I know breaking up over email is super lame but I really had no other choice.
     
  6. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    email is pussy ass shit, phone call is still weak but much better
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah, email is lame, I KNOW. A phone call wouldn't work cuz we're both at work. A phone call after work wouldn't work because she'd probably hang up on me, and then I couldn't say everything I wanted to say. At least in email she might read it all. And doing it in person was certainly out of the question.
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    You are a loser. She is better off without you.
     
  9. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Details wont matter, breaking up over email...seriously, what kind of juvenile crap is that? I reitterate: She is better off without you.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Did you even read the post above yours? It was pretty much email or txt.
     
  11. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Only because you're too pathetic to setup a time and face her.
     
  12. TNFlyBoy

    TNFlyBoy F =/= ma?? wtf??

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    :awaiting background story:
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    then again, if your ex is a stupid whore

    email dumping is amusing
     
  14. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    lol right....well if there was no chance that you two were ever going to see one another face to face, than it wasn't really much of a relationship anyway....if you have EVER seen her in person ever, than yeah ;) pussy move with the email ;)
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    whatever the fuck. he did it already so let's move on.

    awaiting the background info.
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    wow john... dont be such a dick man :hay:


    :rofl:
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Alright, I'm leaving the office now but I promise I'll post the info tonight.

    I guess I COULD have set up a time to do it in person, but I didn't want to wait, and we hadn't been seeing each other that much recently, either (because she likes to cancel plans on me, reason #19837 I dumped her).
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Here you go. There was a long wait, but it's a long story.



    Alright, I'm finally home. There is a lot of background info, but here's the relevant stuff, in chronological order. It's kind of long, but the emails at the bottom won't make sense if you don't know the background info.

    (note: "my gf" refers to the girl I just broke up with. "my ex" refers to an ex I had before her)

    - A few months ago we decided to take a break for a week. After a week, we talked, and she said she wanted to be single and didn't want to continue our relationship. Sometime in the next week, I slept with an ex from years ago, twice, to try and get my gf out of my head. A week later me and my gf get back together.

    - I come to find out that, during that entire two week break, she was dating this other guy who was in a band she liked, and going to his shows. She slept with him at the end of the second week.

    - We get back together and tell each other what we did over the "break," which is very hard to deal with, but we said we still loved each other and wanted to try it again.

    - This ex that I just slept with, I dated years ago. We only dated for a few months and it never got to be serious. We decided to just be friends and ended the relationship. I kept talking to this girl (platonically, as a friend) over the years, but I told my gf that I never talked to her. My gf had an issue with guys talking to their exes, so I didn't tell her cuz I figured she'd freak out.

    - My gf thinks I have a thing for my ex (totally not true), and says she doesn't want me to talk to her anymore. I say that's unfair, but I'll stop talking to her for a while to make my gf more comfortable. My gf constantly accuses me of seeing her while we were together (I never did), and for having feelings for her (I don't, because if I did, I wouldn't have been trying to persue something with my gf), and for still talking to her (I wasn't).

    - I tell my gf not to talk to the dude in the band OR the band anymore, and no more going to their shows. She says "fine, I don't care if I ever talk to them or see them again or not."


    Alright, that's the background info. So, I find out that last weekend she ended up going to one of their shows again and talking to that dude she was seeing. She told me she was staying in last weekend because her parents were coming over to visit. Oh snap. Not only caught in a lie about what she was doing, but doing something she said she wouldn't.


    So this morning when I get to work, I email her and ask her about it. I want to see if she'll lie to me about it or not. The email conversations went as follows. A few edits have been made:

    (She texted me on my way to work and I told her I would email her when I got to work)

    Me:
    I'm at work now.

    Her:
    Ok.

    Me:
    Can I ask you something?

    Her:
    What

    Me:
    Did you go to a (band's name) show last weekend?

    Her:
    Whys that?

    (looks like she's avoiding the question)

    Me:
    Well, you told me you were done talking to them/going to their shows, so either:

    - You were lying to me when you said that, or

    - You were thinking you could keep going and not tell me about it.

    You obviously knew it would bother me or you would have mentioned it when I asked what your plans were for the weekend or what you did last weekend.

    Her:
    What makes u so sure I went to their shows and I'm talking to them?

    I think YOU"VE got a guilty conscience.

    Been hanging out / talking to (my ex) lately???


    (Avoiding the question and passive-aggressiveness?)

    Me:

    Actually, I haven't talked to (my ex) since that IM convo I sent you. (I told my ex that my gf and I were getting back together and she and I needed to stop talking for a while. My ex said it was a good idea if it would help things with me and my gf)

    It was brought to my attention that you were at their show this weekend. From that I can only assume that you are still talking to them. I thought you said you "had no desire to go to anymore of their shows." I guess that's not the case.

    For the last few days I've just been wondering how you can sit there and tell me how much you love me, talk about me moving in with you, (listing more examples - edited here)" etc., when you're really not serious about it.

    I guess recently you've seemed like you've been losing interest in us, and that's fine, because I understand that feelings change and everything. I'm not upset about that at all. I'm upset about being led on, however.

    So I don't know what the deal is. You say one thing and act another way. Either you're still really confused about what you want, or you're leading me on and seeing (the guy/the band) on the side. The point is, I shouldn't have to deal with either of those.



    Her:

    LOL, it was "brought" to your attention?? By whom? I highly doubt that it was. It's your guilty conscience!! But at any rate:

    (note: I'm 100% positive she was there. I have a confirmed source. But she still avoids the issue and changes the subject to accusing ME of something)

    You know what. This isn't going to work. I really enjoyed not being with you these past several days. I needed time off....and I needed to be away. I guess you knew this was coming. But another reason - I just simply cannot forgive all your lying about (my ex's name). I just think you did more than just talk to her. You can sit and swear up and down, blah blah blah, but you lied to me about something that was very important and was a big issue to me. I was sooo good to you! And that is what I get in return? You see, you and (her ex) are just alike. You are in love with (my ex's name), and can't let her go. That's fine. I'll find a guy who is all about me, and doesn't care or want to talk to his ex girlfriend. It is too much and it's like beating a dead dog. I need someone who wants to go do things - wants to go out and have fun. Damn (my name)! We are 25 and 26 years old!!!!!! Sitting at home being content with each other is NOT what people our age do. That's what happens after you get married. I hope you find some girl who will be willing to do that. She might be at first, for the first several months, but she's going to get bored. I think the only reason you're content with that is because you're not spending any money.

    I think you use that excuse because you don't want to go out and do things people our age are supposed to do. That's the whole point of dating....is to find out what we like, and enjoy doing, and to hang out. I don't get that from you - and I tell you this: you're NOT going to find a girl who will be content with that. And if you do - like I said before, it will be short term before she gets annoyed.

    I need some more excitement in my life. I guess you're not doing it for me on that level. I work M- F, and I get home, and sit and do nothing. When the weekend rolls around, I want to sleep in and get out and do stuff. You don't. And that is annoying.

    So I'm sorry, but this isn't working. I think we tried and exhausted every chance we had. Good luck to you.



    (Still avoiding my original question. Lots of insults that are not based on the truth. Accusing me of stuff I've logically disproved in the past. Goes on and on about me and my ex without acknowldging anything she did during that two week break)


    Me:

    You’re right, it’s not going to work, but it has nothing to do with (my ex's name), and I’m certainly not in love with her. I’m sorry you cannot forgive me for lying about her. I can’t forgive you, either (for (a list of things she did while we were together that were shady).), but my God, I was going to try. That stuff ate me up at night, almost every night.

    I think we just want different things; you’re right. I like going out and doing things; I LOVED going out with you no matter where we went. Being in love is always being happy when you’re with another person. But you always seemed like you wanted to party like a single girl and not with me. That’s not going to fly.

    I was all about you. You have no idea how badly I fell for you. But, I’ll find some girl who doesn’t want to party like a single girl, and some girl who enjoys being with me because I make her happy. Someone who doesn’t flirt when she has a bf. I deserve that much respect.

    I wanted to tell you that everything I ever said to you was true. Please don’t think otherwise. I think some of the happiest moments of my life were with you (some sappy shit edited out).

    I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us. I will miss our memories, cuddling with you, our inside jokes, etc. But, it makes it easier for me to take knowing that you’re not into this relationship anymore. Whoever you end up with will be a very lucky guy (assuming you stop the flirting).

    Good luck to you. I will miss you. You know I love you, and I know you love me.





    (I know I pussied out on the ending BUT I also made my points by telling her I wasn't going to put up with her shit, right?)

    (note: the other guy works part time as a psychologist. I know he still wants to bang my gf. I'm almost positive she was still talking to/emailing him even after she said she wouldn't. I wonder if he was "influencing" her decisions. I mean a psychologist could do that easier than a layperson...)


    Ok, honestly, I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. BUT, I miss all the good memories I have. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about her with another guy, but I would be willing to bet money on the fact that she's already trying to flirt with guys to make herself feel better. And THAT pisses me off because I'm like "I can't believe I fell for someone like that." But seriously, I literally want to throw up when I think about her with some other guy.

    I know it sounds like a lot of drama, but when we were together and there wasn't drama, I swear I was in complete euphoria. I've never felt this way with anyone before (even a 3.5 year relationship with a girl I was going to marry), hence the "chemical addiction" reference in my other thread.

    And it hurts to think that all this stuff we had that I thought was special (you know what I mean) actually wasn't important to her (even tho she made me think it was at the time. I thought she was head over heels in love with me, too, but I guess it's clear from her actions that she wasn't).

    Now that I think about it, that's why I'm upset. When we were together, if she hadn't made me feel like the most special, luckiest guy on Earth, and made me think that she was crazy about me, it wouldn't hurt so bad right now. What the fuck? Someone explain to me why you would do that? Wouldn't that take way more effort than just telling someone you're not interested anymore? When I lose interest in a girl I sure don't hold her and go on and on about how much I love her and love being with her, etc. If anything I would do the opposite.

    But damn, the sex was good. :bigthumb:

    :wtc:
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2006
  19. smallsharpteeth

    smallsharpteeth Lombardi Trophy #7, coming soon. OT Supporter

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    After reading this post, thread title needs to be changed to "My gf just broke up with me" because that's what happened.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Maybe. She would say shit like that all the time when she got pissed, so I kind of just ignore it. I've never said that before. I also agreed with her, which means I was gonna say it first.

    See, she would break up with me and then want to get back together, and when I would agree, it would make her think she could get away with whatever.

    So this time I basically told her no, it's over for real, because I deserve better than you. Before she knew I would probably take her back. Now she knows I won't.
     
  21. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    This part had me almost cracking up.... what people at 25-26 are SUPPOSED to do? Does she realize how many people have been married for 3-4 years by the time they're 25/26? And who says there are certain things people are supposed to do just because of their age? :ugh:

    This girl's got issues, man... you're better off without her headaches. :bigthumb:
     
  22. smallsharpteeth

    smallsharpteeth Lombardi Trophy #7, coming soon. OT Supporter

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    From what I read you're better off without each other, on both ends. She's not ready for a serious relationship, you are. She wants to go out and party and have a good time, not put time into a committed relationship. Meet someone who wants the same things as you do.
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That whole thing came about cuz she gave me crap for not wanting to go out one night cuz I said I'd rather just stay in and spend time with her. This became "you never want to do anything" to which I would reply "I don't give a shit what we do, I just like being with you." She would say the same thing back, but it was obviously contradicted by her actions. She used to tell me "my favorite thing to do is just lay on your bed and hold each other." Uh... make up your mind.
     
  24. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    .
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    A friend of mine once put it like this to his girlfriend who was asocial.

    We can grow together in a box, and that will be great, it will be nice, or, we can grow together in the real world - and that would be better.
     

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