SRS Just broke up - can we still stay friends?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nish81, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2006
    Messages:
    11,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    london
    First off, I know the general rule after breaking up is to completely separate yourself from the ex. But I also hear that the general rule is not to ask a girl out when you've been friends with her for a while.
    well, i was friends with her for about 1-2 years. we got to be really good friends, and i started to like her quite a bit. so, i asked her out and she says yes. we go out happily for 6 months, (at 14 I find that to be quite a while). then the summer holidays start, and she leaves for switzerland. After about a week I'm chatting to her when she says that she thinks it better that we go back to being friends.
    this does hit me hard, but i stay cool with her and say 'sure'. i dont see her for another two weeks, (which does count as a bit of a break) but cant stop thinking about her for those two weeks.
    now I kept thinking that there was no way that we could just go back to being friends, but when i went to her house today it seemed like we could - i mean, everything was fine.

    I'm just wondering what the OT community thinks about whether its possible for us to stay friends? or whether things will get messy?
     
  2. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    Depends on both of you. Most people find it easier to take a break for several months or even years before trying to be friends again, because by then the emotions from the relationship have usually cooled and you've both moved on. Trying to be friends right after can be done but it's very hard to prevent emotions and romantic thoughts from getting in the way, especially if you're not the one that initiated the breakup. I'd recommend taking a break and letting her know that you're not ready to resume your relationship as friends because you still have feelings for her. You can revisit friendship later, and if she's a true friend she'll understand your need for space and time to heal.
     
  3. NovedYarg

    NovedYarg Drinks Their Kool-Aid

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    5,388
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lexington, KY
    It's doable but don't expect to go right into being friends after the breakup. If you really want to stay friends then the best bet is to totally avoid each other for a month or longer, at least a month, then slowly start the social interaction with each other. It will be easier to do this if you go out with a group of friends that you have in common together (if any) and socialize that way.
     

Share This Page